My husband and I don’t drink coffee—neither of us ever developed the taste for it—so we don’t own a coffee maker, nor do we keep any coffee in the house. It’s just never been necessary.
Once every year or two, one of my husband’s old friends comes to visit. He lives several hours away and usually brings his girlfriend along. The first time they stayed over was last year, for a few days. Before they arrived, I asked them if they had any food or drink preferences and let them know what we usually keep stocked. They didn’t make any requests.
The first morning of their visit, the girlfriend asked for coffee. I told her we didn’t have a way to make coffee at home, but there was a great coffee shop just two minutes down the road, and I’d be happy to take her there. She declined. Still, I noticed her mood shifted—she seemed annoyed, even though I tried to offer a solution.
Later that day, while hanging out with mutual friends, one of them mentioned that the girlfriend had been venting about how upset she was that we didn’t have coffee available in the house. Apparently, she really needs it first thing in the morning. For the rest of their stay, I offered every morning to take her to the coffee shop—my treat, just in case money was an issue—but she kept declining.
Fast-forward a year, and they came to visit again. We still don’t have a coffee maker because, again, we don’t drink coffee and have no use for one. This time, the girlfriend directly called me a bad host because she claimed I knew she needed coffee and still hadn’t provided any way for her to make it. She said it was inconsiderate and rude to invite guests without having basic things like coffee on hand.
Now, I’m generally a people pleaser. I go out of my way to make my guests feel welcome and comfortable. But I genuinely can’t justify buying and storing a coffee machine I’ll never use, just to accommodate one guest who visits once a year. I live in a relatively small space, and storage isn’t limitless.
When I asked around, some people said I was completely in the right—it’s my home, and if I don’t drink coffee, I’m under no obligation to stock it. But others pointed out that having coffee ready for guests is basic hospitality, and that I should have done more—especially since I knew in advance that she wanted it. That got me thinking of how my mom and grandma always had fresh coffee ready when guests arrived, expected or not, and it’s made me question if I missed the mark.
So… AITA for not buying a coffee maker or coffee beans for a guest I knew would want it, even though I don’t drink it and she only visits once a year?
Check out how the community responded:
KrofftSurvivor said:
NTA. I visit a relative a couple times a year. I asked if they minded, then picked up a cheap $15 mini coffee maker and a can of coffee. Told them to do whatever they wanted with the leftovers—they just store it in a cupboard.
You even offered to take her to a coffee shop each morning. If she kept refusing, that’s on her. She acted like she was at a hotel. Which, frankly, is exactly where she should stay next time.
pamelaonthego said:
I have a pretty solid caffeine addiction and I would be grumpy discovering there’s no coffee—but I’d fix it myself by buying some instant and dealing with it.
You offered to take her to a nearby café, which was kind. Complaining the way she did is just ungrateful.
The hotel down the street might suit her better next time. NTA.
Basic-Regret-6263 said:
NTA. She could’ve brought a French press, or anything really, if it mattered that much. Now that she’s calling you a bad host to your face? I’d take her off the guest list until she apologizes.
No_Middle6092 said:
NTA. You don’t drink coffee, so you’re not required to serve it. You even offered alternatives. She sounds like an unpleasant guest, and honestly, kind of entitled.
Maybe next time just make it clear up front: “We don’t keep coffee or have a way to make it.” Then if it’s that big of a deal, they can plan accordingly.
ninaal said:
I love how people are saying “just buy a coffee maker” as if every home has endless storage. Some people live in tiny spaces!
Also, why isn’t her boyfriend getting her coffee every morning if it’s so vital? Why is it your problem? She was rude and helpless. NTA.
Tinkerpro said:
NTA. She absolutely was though. I travel with coffee and a simple drip setup—just need hot water. I wouldn’t ask anyone to buy a coffee maker just for me.
If she’s the only guest who’s ever had this problem, let it go. You could keep a French press and some coffee in the freezer, but if you don’t want to, that’s perfectly reasonable.
SnooDoughnuts4691 said:
As a host, you did the right thing: you asked what they’d like, offered alternatives, and still got criticized.
Expecting someone to buy a whole setup just for you is ridiculous. NTA.
Suz9006 said:
NTA! Someone calling me a bad host to my face would not be welcome again. That level of rudeness is unacceptable.
barrie247 said:
I think you’ll get a very “Reddit” answer here—focused on individualism. So yeah, technically NTA, because you don’t drink coffee and aren’t obligated to provide it.
But does that make you a good host? Not really. When I have guests, I stock a few things I don’t personally use—milk, tea, pop—because it’s part of being thoughtful.
You don’t have to do it, but it doesn’t take much to go the extra mile. A tin of instant coffee or a pour-over takes very little space. But it’s your call.
pixyfire said:
Eh. If you want to accommodate guests in the future, go to Goodwill and get a $5 French press. Add a small bag of coffee to the freezer when company comes. Done.
If you don’t want to offer coffee, just be clear about it. In my house, we don’t eat meat. Guests know that before they come. If they don’t like it, they can book a hotel. Same logic applies.
