I’m 28M, and last week I scheduled a garage appointment during the week to get my car’s original suspension installed and switch to winter tires. The garage is in my hometown, but I work about 45 minutes away in the city.
Since my girlfriend (24F) works from her apartment — and we don’t live together — I told her I’d be taking her car to work that day.
The night before the appointment, I dropped my car off at the garage after work, and my girlfriend came to pick me up. I dropped her back at her apartment, and then I went home. At that time, her car had about three-quarters of a tank left.
The next day, I drove 45 minutes to work, sat through heavy traffic on the way back for about 1 hour 30-45 minutes, then headed straight to the garage to pay since they closed at 5 pm. It was already 4:45 pm.
After paying, I picked up my girlfriend and drove back to the garage to get my car.
As we were leaving, she mentioned I’d left her with less than a quarter tank of petrol and assumed I’d fill it back up to where it was. I told her I didn’t have time to stop at the gas station before paying because of the garage’s closing time. She suggested I could have gone afterward, before picking her up.
At that point, I was annoyed. I’d just worked all day and wanted to go home, so I told her I’d fill it up during the weekend when she came over.
Over the weekend, I paid for breakfast as I usually do. On Sunday evening, when I mentioned I was going to fill my car’s petrol, she asked if I’d be filling hers as well.
I said no, since I’d already paid for breakfast. She reminded me she had paid for supper on Friday and made me a cheesecake I asked for. I told her we take turns paying and that my breakfast payment was my share.
She then brought up that it was the second time I hadn’t filled her car after borrowing it and said she wouldn’t “allow” me to take her car anymore while mine was in the garage.
I laughed and said I’d transfer her $108 for petrol if she was going to be that petty.
In the end, I neither transferred money nor filled her tank. It cost her $708 to fill the tank. She did ask for the $108, but I told her if she asked again, she’d be paying for herself at the dinner I planned this weekend.
She says I’m an a**hole for not fulfilling my promises, but I told her I never promised anything.
TL;DR: I borrowed my girlfriend’s car while mine was in the garage and didn’t refill the petrol tank, even though I used most of it. She nagged me about it, but I stood firm because I’d paid for breakfast over the weekend like I usually do. AITA?
Heres what people had to say to OP:
cutlows said: YTA – fuel is expensive. It’s basic respect to refill the fuel if you borrow someone’s vehicle. But everything you’ve typed here is kind of monstrous. You don’t sound like you have any respect or affection for your partner at all. You told her you were taking HER car? Under what authority? I hope you stick to your guns so she dumps you sooner than later.
PrivateEyes2020 said: YTA. Who cares if you paid for breakfast? That has absolutely nothing to do with you owing her money for petrol. She paid for dinner and the ingredients for cheesecake, which taken together, certainly cost more than breakfast (the cheapest meal of the day.) What a lame excuse to steal from her.
I bOugT yOU BrEaKFaST.. You used her gas, you replace the gas. Try not to be so much of an AH.. …told her I was taking her car. (AH–you should have asked, not told.). …laughed in her face. (AH–you stole the equivalent of 50 or more dollars from her and laughed). I just want to go home after working all day. (So what?
Only an AH puts his comfort above paying his debts.). …if SHE was going to be so petty. (I don’t think she was the one being petty.). I didn’t promise her anything (Besides, of course, promising to fill up her tank on the weekend, and promising to send her a measly $10.00). TDLR: You’re a prime example of an asshole.
[Reddit User] said: Yikes, YTA. A lot of red flags here. You “told” her you’re taking her car. You didn’t ask? Yikes. You laughed in her face? Yikes. You only buy her breakfast to use that against her? Yikes.
Pristine_Fee6684 said: YTA. “I laughed in her face” » ». You took her car, used her gas. Fill it up or give her money it’s common decency.
[Reddit User] said: YTA Breakfast won’t get her around dude. Unless you told her “hey I will pay for breakfast for the gas I will be using” then no. If she doesn’t have the $ to refill her gas tank & you used it all, how does breakfast help her?
Betweentheminds said: YTA. Using a lot of her fuel and not refilling it more than once – I’m not at all surprised she’s stopping you using her car in future. From your comments you sound incredibly entitled and disrespectful which has reinforced my judgement. You’re lucky you’re not her ex.. I also assume breakfast did not cost you $70
[Reddit User] said: YTA. You clearly don’t like your girlfriend so why are you with her?
LeadershipNo8193 said: YTA 100{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}!! It seems like you don’t like having a gf, you like having someone to control. The language in your post is really terrifying. “I told her I’d be taking her car” “I told her I didn’t have time to stop” “I laughed in her face” Seriously you’re a good parent’s worst nightmare for their child.
Question OP, if your gf switched roles with you and she took your car, refused to fill it back up, then paid for something else (you both enjoy doing together) and saying “there is your gas money babe quit asking” how would you feel?? From the way you sound I know you wouldn’t take it as easy as your gf has. Relationships are about give and take.
Helping each other of course but being THANKFUL AND GRACIOUS for that support and help. You seem to think this give and take is all for your consumption while you do whatever to your gf even if it’s unfair rude or hurtful.. This screams entitlement and I really hope you change your ways before it’s too late.. YTA YTA YTA.
Acceptable-Bell6214 said: YTA. ‘I told her I would be taking her car.’ LOL. The least you could do was replace her petrol. That’s what usually people do when they borrow someone’s car. Unless, they’re an a**hole.
MontEcola said: The rule I grew up with says to always fill the tank AND buy the breakfast. The car owner/driver goes free. That is because they are paying other costs of the car. You used half a tank. Replace that and more. Fill her tank now, and you owe an apology plus another breakfast or four. YTA.
