I’m a 37-year-old woman, and I’ve been with my boyfriend (30M) for about a year and a half. We lived together briefly, but I ended up moving out after just a few months—mainly because of issues he had with my dog.
She’s a German Shepherd, about 8 years old and 90 pounds. She’s generally very well-behaved, not destructive, and pretty quiet. But he didn’t want her on the furniture or in the bedroom, didn’t like the barking, and constantly complained about her shedding. Since we were living in his house, I did my best to follow his rules—even though I wasn’t happy about it. My dog has always slept in bed with me and had full access to my space before.
Eventually, I decided to move out and get my own place, hoping that having some space would reduce tension and help our relationship. Now that I’m in my own home again, my dog is allowed on the furniture and in my bedroom just like she used to be, and honestly, she’s so much happier—and so am I.
Here’s where things got complicated again. My boyfriend told me that if I wanted him to come over to my place, my dog couldn’t be on the couch or in the bed—even when he’s not there. He said it made him uncomfortable and that I was being disrespectful for not considering his needs. I told him I respected his rules in his home, but this is my home, and here, I make the rules.
He argued that I wasn’t willing to compromise, even though I’d already offered to put blankets down to protect the furniture and remove them when he visits. That wasn’t good enough for him. He said if I wouldn’t keep the dog off the furniture entirely, he wouldn’t come over anymore.
I just shrugged and let him leave. I’m not going to ban my dog from living comfortably in her own home for someone who doesn’t even contribute financially to the space. I still buy groceries for both homes and do all the cooking when I’m at his place, so it’s not like I’m not putting in effort in other ways.
So, AITA for telling my boyfriend “my house, my rules” and letting my dog stay on the furniture—or am I choosing my dog over my relationship?
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
aeroeagleAC said:
You two clearly aren’t very compatible. Why are you holding onto this?
Freeverse/11 said:
You’re being an AH to yourself and your dog for even trying to make this relationship work. News flash: he doesn’t like dogs. Your dog is only 8—she’s got years left. Break it off and find yourself a dog lover.
HauntingGur4402 said:
I stopped reading after you wrote you still buy groceries and cook in both houses… why??? Time to get rid of him and be happy with just your dog.
Ironyismylife28 said:
NTA, but if you’re this different in your lifestyles and values, why do you think you’re compatible?
Nola_Germajun said:
GIRL, QUIT BUYING HIS GROCERIES AND COOKING HIS MEALS! He’s a whole grown-ass man and needs to act like it. He wants to be Big Daddy but also wants to be babied.
NTA—you followed the rules in his house, then tried to accommodate him in yours, and that still wasn’t enough. You were 100{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} right: your house, your rules.
Why are you still together? Is the D really that good? Toys have come a long way and this is not worth the hassle. 1.5 years isn’t too much to walk away from. Dogs are like children—you don’t sideline them for a man. The right guy will love your fur baby too. Move on.
DottedUnicorn said:
A fish may love a bird, but where will they build a home together?
A dog person and a non-dog person just don’t work long term. Stop buying him food and cut the cord.
Ballas333 said:
NTA. I think at this point you should just admit that you chose the dog over the guy. And honestly? That’s okay. You two clearly want very different things in a home life.
United-Manner20 said:
NTA. Clearly you’re not compatible for the long run, so just end it now. You and your pup deserve better.
Also, stop subsidizing his grocery bill. Food is expensive!
Legitimate_Soup_1948 said:
NTA. At the end of the day, you’re a dog person and he’s not—and as long as you have one, he’ll always have a problem.
Also: “I’m buying groceries for both homes and cooking at both.” WHY ARE YOU BUYING HIS GROCERIES???
Street_0One5954 said:
You’re responsible for groceries for both homes? THAT makes you an AH—to yourself. Let the man-boy buy his own food.
You’re better off with just your dog. NTA about the dog. But stop supporting this fool.
