I (56F) invited my son Eric (37M) to move in with me because his wife (41F) works shifts with coronavirus patients. I was happy to help, but from the first day, he acted ungrateful and irritable.
For some context: I raised Eric on my own. I put my education on hold and worked multiple jobs so I could stay involved in his life. He was a gifted student, so I fought to get him into the best classes. When he graduated high school, I hoped he would become a doctor. I didn’t force him—I simply told him I’d pay for medical school unless he had a solid alternative plan. He didn’t, so he went to med school, graduated, and became a doctor. I was very proud of him.
But the way he sees it is completely different. Over the years, he’s repeatedly complained that I “forced” him into a career he doesn’t enjoy. He keeps trying to make me out to be the villain, even though I’ve supported him in so many ways. I let him live with me rent-free, paid for extras like therapy, and ensured he had no debt—things that most people would dream of.
The facts don’t back up his complaints. He has a high-paying job, great friends, and he even met his wife while at school. Still, he carries on like he’s miserable because of me.
Since his wife wasn’t around, I brought up some concerns I have about her. She’s tried before to convince him to cut me off, but thankfully I managed to save our relationship back then. This time, though, he exploded. He yelled horrible things at me—apparently she wants to leave him—and instead of leaning on me, he lashed out.
I tried to help him see the silver lining. I told him maybe this was a sign he could do better than someone who doesn’t truly value him. But he just spiraled into his usual rant: “You ruined my life, I hate you,” and so on. He acted like a complete child.
I wasn’t about to tolerate that kind of abuse in my own home. So I kicked him out. At the time, I was certain I was well within my rights to do that.
Then I got a call from my brother—Eric had gone to stay with him. He told me I’d be lucky if Eric ever speaks to me again. I explained that all I wanted was an apology, and that Eric could come back if he gave me one. My brother hung up, and now I’m wondering—did I go too far? Am I the asshole?
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
