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AITA for trying to test a girls “nerd”

by Ankit
July 21, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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In a group united by shared fandoms, inside jokes, and long-standing trust, even the smallest doubt can disrupt the balance. For two years, L has been part of this world—laughing, gaming, and connecting like any other member. But for one friend, something never quite settled.

As the world edges toward lockdown and routines begin to unravel, he chooses this moment to voice his discomfort, pulling at a thread no one else thought loose. What follows is more than a disagreement—it’s a confrontation of assumptions, boundaries, and what it truly means to let someone in. In the face of uncertainty, the group must decide whether belonging is defined by time, trust, or something deeper.

AITA for trying to test a girls “nerd”

Throw away account. I (20M)) don't think I did anything...

We met this girl I'll call L two years ago....

I put up with it for two years, but I...

She seemed surprised but could answer all my questions, until...

Apparently I misspoke, and accidentally asked a trick question.

My friends all jumped on me accusing me of being...

Another friend pointed out that I wasn't the guardian of...

Quarantine happened shortly after, and I recently found out they've...

She never replied, but one of my friends b**ched at...

None of my other friends have messaged me since. My...

I don't think I have anything to apologize for and...

​ ETA-I knew I shouldn't have posted on here, you...

I am not going to apologize for being suspicious of...

I was not gatekeeping, I was just trying to make...

What do you think of this story?





LET’S SEE WHAT REDDIT COMMENTS HAD TO SAY – BECAUSE THIS STORY LEFT EVERYONE STUNNED.

UniquePtrBigEndian YTA. You sound like the typical neck beard who...

Everyone else gets along with her. What kind of person...

Clearly if she didn't fit in with the group, everyone...

It sounds like you're the one that doesn't fit and...

neverstalenevermale This behavior is a huge part of why nerd...

It's gross, and it feels alienating and insulting when it...

She's been friends with this group for two YEARS but...

have (gee, I wonder what that feeling is based on)....

and you're being controlling and s***st in the process. She's...

they're HER friends too and they're not going to let...

Oreasa YTA - You are SO the a*shole.

This is a major problem in what is now male...

Women don't need to know every single thing about a...

A lot of men wonder why they can't find women...

They chase all the women who are moderately interested in...

The oldest fans that know the most about this franchise...

It was considered to be a silly soap opera until...

NovaScrawlers YTA. Your behavior in the original post was already...

but that edit has me in st*tches. >I knew I...

You're an insecure, misogynist neckbeard who has never once had...

As a result,

having women in orbit of your friendship triggers your defensive...

justify *why* you can't have a positive relationship with her...

It's not that you're unlikable, it's that they're not up...

you actually *are* unlikable and your plan backfires by driving...

too. It's an easy enough situation to understand. >

I am not going to apologize for being suspicious of...

Do you suspect that she's actually a trained spy sent...

D&D? Is she a master thief who is here to...

Are you all so inhumanely attractive that she would put...

Give me a break. She's a human being with interests...

I've never met her, but I can guarantee that her...

>and being angry my so-called friends bailed on me for...

See, you write it like that because the number two...

In other words, two years is a *long time.* It's...

They weren't only *your* friends, they're *her* friends, too. And...

she's not just "some chick," she's *their friend*, and you're...

It's no wonder they ditched you. >I was not gatekeeping,...

You were setting standards she had to pa*s in order...

Moreover, "trying to be trendy" - meaning you acknowledge that...

but also you're still salty about them not being as...

and your resentment has led to you trying to bully...

definition of what a "nerd" looks like. Well, that's too...

which means they're getting more attention, which means more and...

And it really doesn't matter that they only found out...

Suck it up and deal with it, or get used...

And just like your former friend group, absolutely no one...

I've never received any on Reddit before, and I legitimately...

kelhar417 Thanks, everyone - I really appreciate it!: YTA As...

boys like you are the absolute worst. And yes, I...

Snoo52682 YTA, it's gatekeeping, it's pointless and s***st and gross.

Doesn't improve the fan base, doesn't improve anyone's ability to...

BeepBlipBlapBloop YTA - Your friends are right. LifeofKiwis: YTA.

Same att*tude that 'women can't be gamers,' or 'women can't...

Dammit_Janet5 Stop being a weird, misogynistic gatekeeper.: Of course YTA.

Why on earth would you try to test someone on...

WhiskeyPixie24 YTA. Don't test your friends.

Speaking as someone who's been on the other side of...

that you have, and worrying about if you have enough...

If you all have fun hanging out, then she's "nerd...

Your friends can hang out with whoever they want,

and if you want this group back you're gonna need...

The Reddit comments reflected a nuanced take on the situation—many understood the original poster’s desire to protect the integrity of the group’s shared passion, but also pointed out how the method of “testing” a friend’s authenticity can feel alienating. What may have been intended as a way to connect or confirm belonging came across to many as exclusionary, especially when friendships should be rooted in trust, not gatekeeping.

This story highlights a fundamental truth about connection: it’s not about how much someone knows, but how they make others feel. While shared interests can spark friendships, it’s kindness, inclusion, and respect that make them last. The OP’s love for his group is clear—but embracing a broader view of what it means to belong could strengthen that bond rather than divide it. In the end, friendship isn’t earned through perfect answers—it’s built through acceptance.

Ankit

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