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AITA for telling my BIL i won’t take care of his grandmother and if he left her with me i’d call adult protective services

by Ankit
July 27, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In a household where love and responsibility intertwine, a young narrator and their older brother have taken on the heartfelt duty of caring for their grandmother. Though she remains remarkably healthy for her age, the challenges of maintaining her own home have brought her into their shared space, creating a delicate balance of support and affection that defines their daily lives.

Amid this quiet harmony, a new tension emerges with the arrival of the older sister’s husband, whose concerns for his own grandmother’s well-being spark a ripple of change. His observations about the care their grandmother receives ignite a complex conversation, hinting at the difficult choices and emotional negotiations that lie ahead for this close-knit family.

AITA for telling my BIL i won’t take care of his grandmother and if he left her with me i’d call adult protective services

Featured Image

For a few years now my grandmother has been living...

My older brother and i take care of my grandmother....

she couldn't take care of her house anymore that's why...

Between my older brother and i (he works from home...

Lately, my BIL has been talking about his grandmother needing...

He commented how we take care of my grandma really...

My sister then offered to have her live here and...

I told both of them no i would not take...

I told him as bad as i felt for her,...

and she needed someone to bathe her and change her....

some blankets, and said she was kicked out of the...

I told him he'd need to get those days off...

He walked away p**sed off and i a*sume went to...

I said both to my BIL and sister if he...

My sister called me an a*shole and said she had...

Your parents/grandparents do not need help at 60+ but my...

She lost both her husband and daughter in the same...

She had no one where she was living plus she...

What do you think of this story?





LET’S SEE WHAT REDDIT COMMENTS HAD TO SAY – BECAUSE THIS STORY LEFT EVERYONE STUNNED.

mythoughtsrrandom NTA Call adult protective services and why is your...

who gets to move into his house? Into a room...

Ill**tratorNew8801 NTA they can move out to a 2 bed...

Also, if your own gran is 60 and healthy so...

she just lives there and you keep her company so...

aphrodora NTA And I'm confident they're lying about her getting...

Anyone who has to lie to get their way is...

Leahthevagabond NTA - please stand firm!

I'd tell them they have 24 hours to move her...

It sounds like BIL's mother needs a medical professional to...

Status-Ad-5041 NTA as a former caregiver,

she needs way more attention then what you and your...

but capable of (changing and bathing someone is huge and...

You both are not licensed caregivers and it is a...

cla*s="comment_author">SoAnonymously: INFO: Who owns this house? Where is your dad...

I mean, isn't there anyone setting boundaries for your grandmother?...

dothepingu Is this your dad's mother?: INFO: How old are...

You definitely don't have to take care of anyone you...

away from this situation.

Cokezero1992 NTA: NTA - LA7421_ah: NTA and i might sound...

your Dad kicks your sister and BIL out,

not only for going against his wishes when he explicitly...

but for their att*tude and a*sumption that they can do...

Suckerforcats I'm an adult protective service worker. You need to...

They can locate a nursing home or a*sisted living for...

retirement, pension, etc. as I would be concerned that BIL...

I feel bad for his mother, but thats HIS mother not your grandmother.

Did he remove her from a care home? Can you ask here where she was? what was her previous arrangement?

BIL is trying to act like man of the house, and is being a douche

After reading through the Reddit comments on this story, it’s clear that many people sympathize with the family’s dedication to caring for their grandmother and understand the challenges that come with multi-generational living. Commenters generally praised the older brother and narrator for their commitment and the positive environment they’ve created. However, some expressed concerns about adding another elderly person into the household, especially if the BIL’s grandmother requires the same level of care but without the same support system in place. It seems there is a consensus that while kindness and generosity are important, the family should carefully consider their capacity before taking on additional responsibilities.

In my opinion, this situation highlights the complexity of caregiving within blended families. It’s admirable that the sister and BIL want to help, but it’s essential to balance compassion with practical limits to prevent burnout. The family might benefit from having an open discussion about expectations, roles, and resources before making a decision. Ultimately, ensuring the well-being of all elderly family members requires both love and realistic planning, and it’s encouraging to see such thoughtful conversations happening in the comments.

Ankit

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