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AITA for Refusing to Change the Menu for My SIL’s Allergy?

by Ankit
July 28, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 13 mins read
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AITA for Refusing to Change the Menu for My SIL’s Allergy?

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**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/antisocialapparantly** **AITA for...

< [Original Post](https: //www.reddit.com/r/AmItheA*shole/s/hWGwKFXqfv) **July 16, 2020** 38M, married with...

Recently, my mom turned 65 and begged to see her...

only youngest 2 are his) and a much younger brother...

My older brother had to work late the first night,...

Emily is a great cook and her parents own a...

Emily is the chef for that dish and my wife...

I had most of what she needed but I told...

But at some point, my mom took a picture of...

The reason Emily only makes this dish once a month...

Her parents are weirdly protective of the recipe and won't...

I a*sumed this was common knowledge within my family but...

In any case, my brother was FURIOUS that I asked...

" Frankly, I think the reaction was ridiculous. She's a...

Also, Emily didn't seem upset about anything and was off...

I kind of thought it had blown over after a...

He told me it was "bullshit" that I made her...

She could have asked my little brother to get her...

My wife had cleaned the kitchen and Emily had gotten...

I put my foot down and said no. I feel...

I understand it but it's frustrating) and I wasn't willing...

The whole rest of the weekend was awkward and strained...

Do I not get to set boundaries in my own...

The comment about everyone babying her makes me think you...

My family (especially my brother) get defensive and baby her...

But she's an adult and she has to learn to...

She could have said, "I'll happily make that dish but...

>Did Emily ever say she was upset about this? I...

You didn't think it was weird that she cooked all...

>This is the first AITA post about food allergies I've...

She knows how much people like that dish. I do...

I don't think making it for family is the same...

I think we just a*sumed she would eat later on....

It was my mom and younger brother that weren't aware....

>She's not the kind of person to complain about things...

So she cooked for the kids...then cooked this? And you...

the refused to let her get fed properly when someone...

>>Hosting 1 0 1. >>Look after your guests. Make sure...

You wouldnt do that to someone you dont really know-...

>>And then you are commenting on here blaming her for...

It was your fault for choosing a meal she couldnt...

Be a host, don't have a hissy fit because you...

>>And stop taking advantage of peoples kindness. >>I saw your...

almost as if you tried to make yourself look better....

you even know shes trying to stop cooking that dish...

family shouldnt make her cook something she doesnt want to...

And maybe I'm being defensive and doubling down. I don't...

I just didn't get why she didn't just eat something...

Someone else pointed out in another comment too that she...

**On what the special dish was** **galpalnykki** >OP made a...

I've never had anything like it anywhere else. The restaurant...

It's very expensive and I was trying to treat my...

**And this gem of a comment** **OOP** >I feel like...

I'm going to apologize. **januarysdaughter** >>She doesn't get paid for...

**VERDICT: A*SHOLE** **OOP Updated the next day July 17, 2020**...

She hasn't commented much on this situation and said today...

I called Emily this morning and my brother answered her...

She explained that she said yes to cooking because she...

My brother also explained that her allergy has topical effects...

and the cooking process gets the allergen everywhere which is...

Please note that I know I was the a*shole even...

It also makes me look at the situation with her...

I work in a really cutthroat, callous environment. It's not...

but I do think it's had some clear effects in...

She improved my brother's life profoundly when they got together...

Emily was more gracious accepting my apology than I deserve...

I was mad at first reading a lot of the...

**RELEVANT COMMENTS** **OOP** >I've accepted I'm the AH here and...

>There are a lot of comments about my brother and...

Just want to clarify that my younger brother and mom...

**zenisabanana** >>That doesn't make this better. Having people "hang out"...

YOU SHOULDNT HAVE ASKED HER TO MAKE IT IN THE...

You're not understanding that my comment is in defense of...

But I see a lot of comments about my mom...

**~** **danimals3** >Info >You've already accepted judgement so I just...

I know what you said but really you must have...

I think this is where a clue might lie to...

I don't generally like having guests and find it really...

We offered to host for my mom's birthday because our...

Usually I rent two Airbnb's down the street and that's...

I got stressed out and by the time my brother...

It had nothing to do with not wanting her to...

It makes me more of an a*shole, but I can...

My brother explained this morning that Emily's allergy (peanuts) is...

Cooking this dish requires her to crush peanuts into a...

>I did NOT know this, not that it makes it...

agreeing with most of them and letting me know that...

In the beginning, why were you saying the family babies...

I tried justifying it to her and that did not...

my wife pointed out that Emily consistently goes above and...

so my family is simply returning her kindness and also...

>>>Of course this makes sense and I don't have a...

I've had a strained relationship with my mom and siblings...

**THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE...

What do you think of this story?





LET’S SEE WHAT REDDIT COMMENTS HAD TO SAY – BECAUSE THIS STORY LEFT EVERYONE STUNNED.

PunctualDromedary Huh I wonder why he has a strained relationship...

mtdewbakablast if y'all will allow me to indulge in some...

cla*s="comment_author">StrangledInMoonlight: >

I guess I just thought she would cook something for...

she's not going to make food for herself *while making...

And even if she deep cleaned the kitchen and all...

PonderWhoIAm ) the: I also didn't see one dang mention...

people! Emily cooked, wife cleaned, little brother did some of...

minuteye This dude was beyond callous.: Holy shit, this story.

The one weird little detail that jumps out to me,...

I don't know why especially, but that gets under my...

Getting your SIL to come over and make a meal...

CatmoCatmo it's: I love how he contradicts himself.

"She's an adult and it's her fault for not putting...

She never says no and always puts herself last." "I...

"I also knew she had been trying to stop making...

SmartQuokka ": Cereal is sufficient, really?

Appropriate_Speech33 Based on the brother's reaction and the fact that...

her, OP has probably always been as a*shole towards her.

peter095837 I mean good for OP on reflecting but OP's...

Food allergies are really serious and shouldn't be dismissed at...

peachpinkjedi This is the strangest story I've ever seen on...

>I feel like this is a terrible time to mention that she doesn’t get paid at the restaurant.

hey guys something tells me that shit’s fucky beyond just dismissing Emily’s allergy. like just a vibe. the problem is not limited to only the iranian yogurt, so to speak

Ankit

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