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I (29m) want to have my kids at our wedding, my girlfriend (28f) doesn’t. what do I do?

by Ankit
August 17, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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He carries the weight of a fractured past, striving to blend the love of his two neurodivergent daughters with the promise of a new future. The wedding, meant to unite hearts, has instead become a battlefield of conflicting hopes—his desire for family inclusion clashing with his girlfriend’s longing for an intimate day focused solely on their bond. Each holds pain and past scars, making this moment a fragile test of understanding and compromise.

Amidst the tension, there is undeniable love: his daughters cherish her, and she has been a steadfast support through co-parenting storms. Yet, the divide over a single day reveals deeper fears and unmet needs, threatening to unravel the very relationship they seek to celebrate. Navigating this delicate crossroads demands empathy and courage, as they confront what family truly means in the face of love’s complex realities.

I (29m) want to have my kids at our wedding, my girlfriend (28f) doesn’t. what do I do?

Featured Image

I have two daughters, 5 and 7 (both neurodivergent) from...

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a couple...

When the subject of whether or not children would be...

She said absolutely no children, that she wanted one day...

From my perspective, we're joining our family and having my...

From her perspective, she's been through a lot of terrible...

For context, my girls love her, and she loves them....

Basically how do I navigate this? Our relationship has been...

Not having my kids at my wedding feels wrong, and...

Edit+update: There's some context that's missing behind our relationship that...

She has known my kids since my youngest was a...

She encouraged me to seek full custody (I didn't get...

but I ended up as the primary parent and decision...

Most of her behavior around the children has been fiercely...

She has mentioned several times in these discussions that weddings...

and doubly so for Audhd children with heavy noise sensitivity...

We have agreed for now that a marriage is off...

My next steps are to really investigate if my kids...

I am my kid's safe person, and being told that...

What do you think of this story?





LET’S SEE WHAT REDDIT COMMENTS HAD TO SAY – BECAUSE THIS STORY LEFT EVERYONE STUNNED.

BigBlueHood If you are not the primary parent, you can...

that will be your special time alone that you can...

If she's so fed up with your kids already, you...

stellastellamaris She is marrying someone with kids. Even the wedding...

It's about ALL of you now. Not including your children...

peakpenguins :- >

that she wanted one day where all of my focus...

lol You have a right to want your kids at...

Fresh-Army-6737 Woah. No. Your children are not optional at YOUR...

ionlyreadt*tle I'd absolutely never marry someone who didn't want my...

LittleFairyOfDeath Why would you want to marry a woman who...

coygobbler dads wedding?: How would having your kids there take...

Would she say the same thing if these were her...

Just know if you do decide to not have them...

your relationship with your kids won't be the same and...

nolsongolden How nuerodivergent are they?

Like scream and yell and kick and scream and melt...

Because of its not extreme they should be at the...

If the children can behave they should attend.

indigoorchid0611 How much do you rely on your gf when...

Because if she's the "go to" parent who usually tends...

I can see where she'd be concerned that she'd be...

I don't think she sounds like an evil step-mom in...

Speedraca but more like: Info: when you say your children...

do they require constant supervision by you? Is there someone...

If they require the same amount of supervision as neurotypical...

If your kids require an "excessive" amount of supervision, which...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people sympathize with both sides of this delicate situation. On one hand, the desire to have a wedding day focused solely on the couple is understandable, especially after enduring difficult experiences. On the other hand, the importance of including children in such a significant family milestone, particularly when the children are an integral part of the relationship, cannot be overlooked. Most commenters seem to agree that excluding the daughters could lead to feelings of rejection or hurt, which would be counterproductive to building a unified family. The consensus appears to lean toward finding a compromise that honors both the couple’s love and the children’s place in their lives.

In my opinion, the key lies in open communication and empathy from both partners. Weddings can be tailored to include moments that celebrate the couple’s bond exclusively, while also embracing the children as vital members of the new family unit. Perhaps a small, intimate ceremony followed by a casual celebration involving the kids could create a balance. Ultimately, the goal should be to create a day that strengthens relationships rather than strains them. Given the positive dynamic the girlfriend already shares with the daughters, it seems possible to find a solution that respects everyone’s feelings and solidifies the family’s foundation moving forward.

Ankit

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