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AITA for not telling my girlfriend I make more than her?

by Ankit
August 21, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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AITA for not telling my girlfriend I make more than her?

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6 months ago I (27M) lost my previous job at...

I had enough savings to support myself while I found...

We've always split things 50-50 as we work in similar...

2 months ago I got a job at Anna's tech...

She was initially really excited and so was I. Working...

I make just over 12k more than Anna. It's become...

When I finally told her, she was very upset I...

She also is upset that we have the same job...

I told her that's not my fault and that we...

She's been sulking ever since. AITA?

What do you think of this story?





LET’S SEE WHAT REDDIT COMMENTS HAD TO SAY – BECAUSE THIS STORY LEFT EVERYONE STUNNED.

karivara YTA. You were working the exact same job as...

knew you were paid more than her, and you never...

I've had total strangers be more helpful to me than...

ouatedephoq YTA Companies pull this shit because people don't talk...

If you're doing the same job as your wife, why...

I'd say the major issue isn't the splitting of the...

idreaminwords what?: YTA. This isn't even about how you split...

You're preventing your girlfriend from advocating for herself when she,...

is making significantly less than you.

She deserves to know you're making more than her so...

enkilekee he: Way to keep the patriarchy alive ! What...

petrolblue3 YTA You say it's 47 and 59 at the...

so it was an even bigger disparity before, which even...

Omission is still being sneaky even if it's not an...

BulbasaurRanch There's really not enough information here.

$12k is a lot in some situations, but not so...

Were you splitting the bills 50/50 for the two months...

strawberrysasquatch Cause at that time she making a h**l of...

It is not your *fault* per se that your company...

This is often what happens with newer hires, *and it...

* You are not in charge of the patriarchy, but...

ahopskip_andajump Your girlfriend is upset because she is perfectly awa:...

encourage her to speak to her boss about bringing her...

Flat_Shame_2377 YTA for not thinking beyond the tip of your...

000 more a year is significant.

coldhand100 You don't make so much that an extra $1000...

YTA for not standing up for your partner , clearly...

NTA when sharing 50/50, that was a nice gesture but...

12k is not a lot more depending on what salary...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear this situation has sparked quite a bit of debate. Many commenters sympathize with Anna, feeling that a 50/50 split in bills isn’t exactly fair when one partner earns significantly more, even if the difference is around $1,000 a month. They suggest that couples should consider proportional contributions based on income to avoid resentment and maintain financial harmony. On the other hand, some argue that since the OP’s salary is only slightly higher and they had always split bills equally before, sticking to a 50/50 split is reasonable, especially since transparency was missing and now that the truth is out, a conversation on finances should be had openly.

In my opinion, the heart of the issue lies in communication and expectations. While the OP isn’t at fault for earning more, keeping that detail from Anna created a trust gap. Given they work together and share expenses, it would be healthier to approach finances as a team, perhaps adjusting contributions to be fairer without fostering resentment. This situation highlights how money can complicate relationships, and tackling it with honesty and empathy is crucial. Hopefully, both can find a compromise that respects their individual earnings and strengthens their partnership moving forward.

Ankit

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