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My Girlfriend Expected Me To Pay For Her Daughter’s College Tuition Without Asking Me First

by Ankit
September 4, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 12 mins read
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AITA for refusing to pay for college

**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/notapiggybank** **AITA for...

< [Original Post](https: //www.rareddit.com/r/AmItheA*shole/comments/hgmtp2/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_college/) **June 27, 2020** I (51M) have...

I am seeing a lovely lady - Alice who has...

We met because our daughters are friends and have been...

Though we currently live together, our finances are pretty separate....

so I pay about 80{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} of the "house" bills.

In addition we both pay for own individual expenses and...

It had been going really well and we were talking...

though we both had to compromise a bit on what...

I put a certain amount of money into Katie and...

It turns out that Eliza does not have a college...

Where to go is one of the favorite topics of...

I asked Alice what her plan was and she replied...

She asked me how much I had saved for Katie...

I said absolutely not - I had started saving that...

I replied that equally meant giving each of them the...

She said what about the retirement funds - I said...

I had worked hard to save to be able to...

But you don't start planning on how to pay for...

Alice is accusing me of not caring about Eliza -...

I told her that I did find a way for...

At this point Alice and I are not speaking. We...

I don't think I am wrong, and neither do the...

**VERDICT: NOT THE A*SHOLE** **RELEVANT COMMENTS** **illumiknottyweave** >NTA... Alice sounds...

It comes across pretty sketchy for her to show up...

**OOP** >>I didn't put it in the post because of...

**illumiknottyweave** >>>I get where you're coming from but what I...

why didn't she have any kind of plan outside of...

save for college and just didn't? There are many people...

You said you make significantly more so I'm wondering if...

>I don't think it would be fair to take away...

As it is now she could still go to college...

I'm just wondering if you guys got married would she...

it definitely can be done. But I had to put...

Would you be willing to help by consigning/helping pay for...

>It's definitely not your fault or Eliza's and it does...

I hope you guys can work it out and come...

I didn't know her at the time, but it is...

You know - the kind of guy that would quit...

By the time I met her, I think things were...

I made more than her, so I paid most of...

She would buy expensive things for herself and Eliza -...

But during that time she didn't save anything for Eliza.

>>I'm not an expert on financial aid - I had...

I think it is the combined income of the household,...

>>I am not willing to co-sign. I got burned on...

I was willing to contribute to Eliza's college fund just...

>>I'm pretty sure Alice and I are done. I try...

**~** **101Geese** >INFO. Does Eliza have a bio dad who...

**~** **BeatingsGalore** >NTA My ONLY question to her would have...

**OOP Adds more info about Alice** >It is probably a...

I know she struggled for at least part of that...

shoes, etc. For the last 6 months we have lived...

She has bought clothing (for herself and Eliza) and stupidly...

There is nothing wrong with treating yourself if you can...

**And more about OOP and Elizas relationship and helping with...

I didn't start seeing her mother until after that, and...

Yes - I am better off financially then a lot...

I will not touch my children's accounts and I am...

com/u/notapiggybank/s/MaVVoYqjYN) **Sept 6, 2020 (2 and a half months later)**...

Our relationship is officially over, though it really ended when...

Alice and I were able to sit down together and...

Alice was not able to move out immediately - she...

Alice and Eliza finally had their long overdue conversation about...

I could hear the screaming from a different room. Eliza...

They were both confused as to why Alice wouldn't tell...

Katie, my sweet little girl, asked if she could give...

She wasn't happy with that answer, but didn't fight me...

That Alice and Eliza would be moving out. We emphasized...

The kids were upset of course, though the girls were...

and I told Eliza that she was still welcome to...

That just because Alice and I weren't together didn't mean...

Some of what I learned was from the comments from...

They will explain loan options, and even help you apply...

While she is furious with her mother, she is determined...

I think I am turning her into a spreadsheet junkie!...

**THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

imamage_fightme OOP is a stand-up guy for ensuring Eliza was...

and then giving her access to help so she can...

maedocc Alice is very, very short-sighted. Per OP: >I think...

I didn't know her at the time, but it is...

You know - the kind of guy that would quit...

beachpellini Five years later... I hope Eliza was able to...

*Wild* that Alice thought it would all just work out.

Expensive-Signal8623 There is no shame in working and going to...

If Eliza could live with her mother and go to...

Even starting in community college: smaller cla*ses, more time with...

Work, waitress, whatever. If she graduates in 7 years, that's...

ilayas So the OP's ex doesn't get her daughter's collage...

minimalist_coach Masterful gambit.: My Dad did this to me and...

I was told my whole life I'd be going to...

I didn't learn there was zero money until my senior...

I was so mad I challenged the only 2 cla*ses...

instantlo graduated mid: My parents couldn't afford a college fund,

but still made enough combined that FAFSA wasn't an option...

that rather than take out loans, I just didn't go...

That said,

ftjlster I know that lack of degree is going to...

> Eliza has amazed me through all of this. While...

she is determined to still go to college and to...

I think I am turning her into a spreadsheet junkie!...

edenburning Hope the funds are enough to pay for school...

eighteen without parents cosigning.

Weaselpanties The thing that is phenomenally stupid here is that...

Alice could clearly have paid for Eliza's college using her...

since she was only paying 20{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} of their living expenses.

Now she's back to square one and single. It kind...

Ankit

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