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I’m hiding a 60% chance of death from my family because I don’t want to ruin our time

by Ankit
September 11, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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Facing a surgery with a grim 60-80{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} chance of death, he stands on the edge of uncertainty, clinging to hope forged from a past survival. The weight of this looming operation presses heavily, not just on his body but on the fragile threads of his family’s understanding—his protective brother and loving mother—who remain unaware of the true peril he faces.

Caught between the need to shield his loved ones and the desire to be honest, he grapples with the impossible choice of how much to reveal. The silence speaks volumes, a quiet battle waged within, as he prepares not just for surgery, but for the possibility of saying a final goodbye.

AITA for deciding not to tell my family that the surgery I’m getting will probably kill me?

I'm getting a major surgery done in about three weeks...

It's 60{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} if I do all the things the surgeon...

lots of protein) and I'm following all the rules. So...

That's not great but not too horrible.

The thing is that I've had this exact surgery before...

surgery). However for reasons involving My Medical Condition (TM), this...

My family consists of my older brother (28M) who I...

My brother is very protective of me and my mom...

Give them time to prepare for the possibility of my...

I don't want that. 2. Give us all a chance...

It would feel forced and desperate and they would only...

I'm leaning towards "ignorance is bliss" for everyone involved. If...

If I die, well that's a risk of any surgery...

And with My Medical Condition (TM) it's unlikely I'd make...

What are your thoughts? EDIT: The surgery is 100{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} necessary.

I WILL die without it, but it would take maybe...

Edit2: I've already gone over how I'd want my body...

I have no debts and my brother knows about all...

I'm not hiding the surgery itself from my family, just...

Edit5: I already have an advanced medical directive from the...

It turns out Reddit isn't as scary as I feared...

I honestly don't know what I want anymore.

There seems to be no good answer and spending the...

I'm going to take a break and recharge. EDIT7: Okay...

I wrote this post feeling pretty confident of my decision...

After reading over 100 of these comments I don't know...

There probably *isn't* a right thing to do. So many...

I'm truly sorry you had to go through that and...

PS: To all the people who are setting reminders for...

If I survive, I'll need time to recover and get...

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

RichardZangrillo NAH - this is a personal decision and you...

prognosis. You know your family best, and only you know...

JupiterDress NAH, but ... I have a family member who...

While their brother, and the rest of the family, knew...

they never told them that there was a very high...

It's been about 15 years now and he still struggles...

smellslikebadussy Tough issue to gauge...let me just give you good...

Desertbell My grandmother knew she was dying, but she didn't...

We found out after she'd pa*sed that she'd known for...

I would go over conversations we'd had and pick apart...

redditanon17 NAH.... But PLEASE TELL THEM.

I have four children and I would be devastated to...

the chance. Please don't deny your Mother and Brother this....

firebreathingyak I want to call your mom right now so...

I can understand your perspective, but if you were my...

Can you also make an effort to do some family...

going fishing, visiting your grandma-try to do that.

Thad_Chundertock May I ask what kind of surgery you're having?...

It's *extremely* unusual to perform a non-emergent surgery with that...

I've scanned the comments and don't seem to find it....

using protein powders, or taking supplements improve mortality.

lonelyboix Well OP I think I have to change my...

YTA for one of the follow reasons: 1. You made...

(I really hope this is the case, and I still...

FreedomToTheGalaxy Is anyone else getting seriously depressed about this? I...

shehathrisen I've been checking back here daily for the last...

You have not been far from my mind since the...

After reading through the Reddit comments on this deeply personal and difficult situation, it’s clear that many people empathize with the struggle of balancing honesty with loved ones and the fear of causing them pain. Some commenters advised that openness could foster support and prepare the family emotionally, while others emphasized the importance of personal boundaries and coping mechanisms. The consensus seems to lean towards sharing at least some information with close family members, especially given the high risk involved, as it might help both the patient and their loved ones face the uncertainty together.

In my opinion, while the decision to disclose such a heavy truth is incredibly personal, leaning on the support system during such a critical time can be invaluable. Even if it’s just to ease the burden of secrecy and allow those close to you to offer comfort and strength, opening up might bring some peace of mind. Ultimately, whatever choice is made, the priority should be the patient’s emotional well-being and ensuring they feel supported throughout their journey.

Ankit

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