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AITA if I asked my daughter’s Deipnophobic boyfriend not to come over when we are eating?

by Ankit
September 11, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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A family’s simple gesture of warmth and inclusion was met with silent discomfort and unspoken boundaries, unraveling the fragile threads of understanding between them. What began as casual movie nights and shared meals slowly revealed a deeper struggle that went unnoticed, casting shadows over moments meant to bring everyone closer.

As the daughter’s affection for her boyfriend remained steadfast, the parents grappled with feelings of confusion and unease, trying to reconcile his odd behavior with their desire to welcome him. The revelation of his eating disorder opened a painful window into his world, challenging the family to confront their assumptions and embrace empathy beyond surface judgments.

AITA if I asked my daughter’s Deipnophobic boyfriend not to come over when we are eating?

My daughter been dating this guy a couple months. One...

We ordered pizza, extra to ensure we had enough for...

On another occasion we invited him to a restaurant to...

Finally we spent the day out with him along and...

Then He just sat there awkwardly watching everyone eat. It...

I told my daughter that I think he's been pretty...

A little while later, my daughter informs us that he...

but then he doesn't need to hang around at mealtimes...

Now my daughter is mad that I'm discriminating against his...

Am I the a*shole for not wanting him around at...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

sixoo6 If someone has a phobia of eating in front...

during meal times, forcing them out of the dinner table...

Would you force someone away from the table if they...

or if there was any compelling physical reason why they...

Unhappy-Prune-9914 NTA - It's ok if he has this phobia/disability...

communicate anything about it but will sit in the bathroom...

Not sure why he has to be there at mealtimes...

TeenySod NTA Phobias are not disabilities, they are anxiety disorders,

and her boyfriend either needs to get therapy for his...

Edit - I see other commenters are treating the phobia...

the difference is that a disability is not always "manageable/fixable"...

LowInvestment3826 although o: your daughter asked for drama. 1.

She didn't warn her family about her boyfriend's asocial* problem....

wants the whole family to adapt to a boyfriend.... 4....

The dynamics of your home and family should not be...

Ambitious-Writer-825 Lemme get this straight: Her boyfriend has issues with...

suggest that visiting should not be at those times so...

Unless you're eating 24/7, there should be many hours he...

shugersugar I have an eating disorder and find it very...

It´s my problem, but after 30 years I´m in a...

I am fine with other people eating around me, and...

so I am able to go out with them to...

Gra*syTreesAndLakes NTA at all! Just sitting and staring at you?...

National-Tangelo-514 I would be miffed: NTA.

MangosUnlimited If hes having eating issue, by all means, do...

but YTA.

It's (presumably) a young teenage boy learning how to interact...

with. Meal time itself is a stressor because what if...

(Coming from personal experience,

SeorniaGrim it took me a year as a kid to...

the guy is uncomfortable eating around others. It is also...

Two people can be equally uncomfortable for different reasons. One...

I find it odd that is the takeaway here however...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people sympathize with the original poster’s discomfort, especially given the social awkwardness and perceived rudeness of the boyfriend’s behavior. Several commenters pointed out that eating disorders or anxiety around food can be serious and often misunderstood, suggesting that more empathy and communication could help in such situations. Others felt that the boyfriend should have at least acknowledged the family and explained his behavior rather than silently withdrawing.

In my opinion, this story highlights the importance of understanding and patience in relationships, especially when dealing with challenges like social anxiety or eating disorders. While the boyfriend’s actions seemed rude at first, knowing the underlying cause changes the perspective entirely. Hopefully, with open conversations and compassion, the family can find common ground and support the daughter and her boyfriend in a respectful way.

Ankit

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