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AITA for not paying for our son’s college tuition after he blew his money when he was 18, despite being able to afford it.

by Ankit
September 12, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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At eighteen, a young man was given the freedom to shape his future with a college fund in hand, a gift meant to empower his dreams. Instead, he chose a path of self-discovery through travel, embracing the uncertainty of youth and the search for identity over traditional expectations.

Now, at twenty, he faces the consequences of his choices, yearning to return to school but without the financial safety net once promised. His parents stand divided—one firm in the belief that adulthood means owning one’s decisions, the other softened by the hope of securing their son’s future—highlighting the painful crossroads between independence and support.

AITA for not paying for our son’s college tuition after he blew his money when he was 18, despite being able to afford it.

So at 18 we gave our son his college fund,...

He is 20 now and wishes to go to school,...

I said no, and told him if he wants to...

Edit: We did inform him that the money was his...

We did explain the intent but he is an adult...

Edit: 18 is an adult in my eyes, and old...

End of the it was his money and he was...

That said what I did was exactly what my dad....

My son was free to do the same.

He may not have the knowledge or impulse control but...

I am not a monster and he knows this. He...

Had he asked I would have let's do x y...

When he saved up an amount needed to buy a...

He had a bunch of options he choose the worse...

The fact he did not meant to me he did...

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

Majestic_Distance991 NTA. But seriously,

C_Majuscula did you actually expect an 18 year old to...

He spent the college fund. It's not a magic well...

That being said, did no one bring this up with...

thirdtryisthecharm >So at 18 we gave our son his college...

told him he can do as he pleases with it...

dumped on him?

Fianna9 ESH- you gave what sounds like a ma*sive amount...

and let him go. Of course he blew the money.

You say at 18 he was an adult- what did...

Did you talk about options or "just let him make...

cla*s="comment_author">Penguin_Doctor: Pretty dumb for giving him the money and letting...

but NTA for not paying for his tuition now. No...

It'll do him good to realize how he messed up...

Philip_J_Fry3000 In what world is giving an 18 year old...

pleases with it the right thing?

The right thing would have been telling him he could...

chingness YTA: ESH - you should have taught him better...

He could have travelled cheaply and still had money for...

Also you called it a college fund so why on...

Fluffy-Writer-4008 choice not to save any for college?: ESH.

You don't owe him more money, and he chose to...

Why not tell him to take out loans and you...

He's your friggin son and one could argue that giving...

cla*s="comment_author">FoggyDaze415: Info: You said you explained it to him but...

Did you show him how the world works? Or was...

If it was the second then you really messed up....

Miserable_Dentist_70 YTA Sure, he was irresponsible.

But handing an 18 year old a chunk of money...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people sympathize with the parents’ standpoint, emphasizing the importance of personal responsibility. They argue that since the son was given full control of the college fund as an adult, he should face the consequences of his choices. The majority seem to agree that learning to manage money and understanding the value of education through real-world experience can be valuable lessons. Some commenters do feel the wife’s position is more compassionate, highlighting that a safety net can encourage second chances, but most feel the father’s stance is fair.

In my opinion, this situation highlights a crucial aspect of parenting adult children—balancing freedom with accountability. The parents were transparent about their intentions and gave their son the freedom to decide his path, which is commendable. While it’s tough, standing firm on the consequences of his decisions might motivate the son to work harder towards his goals. Ultimately, this could lead to a more mature, self-reliant adult who appreciates the value of the opportunities he’s been given.

Ankit

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