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AITA for not helping my former roommate until she apologizes for things she said during a manic episode?

by Ankit
September 13, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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Years of silence hung heavy between them, broken only by a sudden, unexpected request on a professional platform. For her, the invitation from Tiffany—a figure from her distant past—stirred a whirlpool of memories and unresolved tensions, shadowing what could have been a simple, supportive gesture.

Beneath the surface of career ambitions and networking lies a fragile thread of shared history, frayed by a forgotten quarrel and the passage of time. This fleeting connection teeters on the edge of old wounds and new beginnings, capturing the delicate dance of reconciliation and the unspoken weight of what once was.

AITA for not helping my former roommate until she apologizes for things she said during a manic episode?

I (27F) recently received a request from someone I last...

I get a lot of requests for informational interviews/job referrals/etc,...

on this site because I work in a field that...

it's a job like any other (though I happen to...

Apparently Tiffany wants to get into the field I'm in...

Normally, I'd be happy to talk with someone I actually...

However, about a month before our lease ended,

Tiffany and I had a minor disagreement over something in...

symptom of a diagnosed mental illness she had. And it...

She said some truly horrible things to me. It was...

saw my biggest insecurities, and confirmed not only that I...

She also insulted some of my family members she had...

I understand that she did not have control over the...

I mostly avoided her, just being polite and courteous for...

After I ignored the request, our third roommate (Lily, 25F)...

contacted me (we are still acquaintances) and asked why I...

I conceded that an apology, which I never received, would...

Lily communicated what I said and Tiffany got angry, saying...

and that I should have asked for one years ago...

and not just have her "come begging on her knees"...

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

tailofthecrackfox NTA. Another good reason to keep Tiffany out of...

I suffer from BPD, and in the past I have...

I still feel guilty about these things to this day....

Trilobyte141 Jesus, no, NTA. Look,

if you ACCIDENTALLY elbow someone in the face and break...

Even though you didn't mean to do it, and maybe...

It's you that did the hurting, it's you who should...

Boga11 And, honestly, I've sort of been in Tiffany's shoes.:...

time has not been kind to good old Tiffany, mental...

Sc**pe that barnacle off your hull, maybe give Lily a...

baconator_out Oh, and block her on Linkdin: NTA.

A decent person would feel remorse for something they did...

AshesB77 NTA. Regardless of why, she caused pain and she...

QueenOfShiba_Inus Don't help her.: NTA: mental health is an explanation....

while she may not have realised what she was doing...

boinktheclown It's up to you whether you want to accept...

Although it may have been out of her control then,...

Refusing to do so only means she's using her illness...

_SeleNyx_ NTA acknowledging she has no control over it doesn't...

steps over the line. Plus,

it's not like she can't advance her career without you,...

so I don't see the "begging in her knees" and...

CoastalCerulean NTA Having a mental illness doesn't mean that you...

out at them. Also, if she has so little control...

What if she did to a co-worker or supervisor after...

Bookish4269 NTA. Obviously you were fine with never being in...

which should have been clear from you ignoring her message....

So if it really matters to *her* then she could...

and apologized for hurting you.

the day Tiffany decided to abruptly move out without much explanation or a proper goodbye. This left a bit of unresolved tension between them, making the recent reach-out feel a little awkward for the narrator. Despite the past, the narrator recognized the professional nature of the request and decided to respond, weighing the value of maintaining connections in their industry against personal feelings.

Reading through the Reddit comments, many empathized with the narrator’s hesitation, noting how common it is to receive networking requests from acquaintances with whom our relationships have grown distant or complicated. Some suggested setting clear boundaries or offering limited help to keep things professional without reopening old wounds. Overall, it seems the best approach is to balance kindness with self-respect, helping where genuinely possible while protecting one’s own peace of mind.

Ankit

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