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AITA for not providing childcare to someone who needs it?

by Ankit
September 20, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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For four years, she poured her heart into caring for two little souls, weaving love and trust into every moment as their nanny. When family needed her most, she stepped beyond her role, embracing the chaos of four children without a second thought—offering not just her time, but her unwavering devotion.

Now, faced with a lifelong commitment she never sought, the weight of unspoken expectations presses down, blurring the lines between duty and desire. In the quiet spaces between laughter and tears, she must confront what it truly means to be indispensable—and what she’s willing to sacrifice for those she loves.

AITA for not providing childcare to someone who needs it?

I (28F) am a nanny for a family with two...

The dad has a private practice and the mom works...

a first grade teacher, with two kids (4F & 3M)...

The grandmother had bunion surgery and couldn't watch the sisters...

The original plan was to watch the kids until the...

Yesterday,

the mom I work for told me that the grandma...

make it permanent. She told me that her sister is...

I asked if I was going to be getting an...

The mom told me no since her sister doesn't have...

She said I'm at their house anyway two more kids...

I said I don't think it's fair to add two...

There are so many people that can't afford a nanny...

I know her sister really needs my help but I'm...

I didn't complain and honestly it wasn't that hard but...

AITA for refusing to help even though I know I...

I don't necessarily need a pay increase but I also...

I live in America (Midwest America) and childcare and healthcare...

also I don't believe the program qualifies for you to...

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

RighteousVengeance NTA. I have to laugh at how they called...

ABeerAndABook NTA.

Adding 2 extra kids is a HUGE increase in work...

While the sister may not have the money, I'm sure...

Edit: this also seems like a dangerous erosion of the...

I personally would walk over this and find another family...

FoolMe1nceShameOnU **NTA** As a former childcare worker, they are absolutely...

and that they would even ask you to DOUBLE your...

The fact that you're "already at their house" is irrelevant....

Paevatar as doctors they would not see double the patient...

BusyBeeBusyBee You're earning a living, not subsidizing other people's children.:...

they're looking to double your workload without a pay rise....

RedditUser123234 NTA - I wonder if this was their plan...

that they intended to ask her to take on the...

but they wanted to trick her into it by framing...

only to then discover that Grandma doesn't want to do...

Alteripse And I wonder if OP holds firm and refuses...

Ask one of the doctors if they would see twice...

Remind her that you did it temporarily as a favor...

CrystalQueen3000 whether these are reasonable people to work for..: NTA...

A whole 2 extra kids and she doesn't think that...

Smart_Land_8955 Info: how much would you have charged for 4...

That's how much more top up in salary you should...

you are not in the business providing free services and...

manofmatt NTA: NTA - good for you! Don't let people...

After reading the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize with the nanny’s situation, recognizing her generosity and dedication. Commenters appreciate how she stepped up to support the family during a difficult time, but also express concern about the sudden expectation to take on permanent care for four children without additional compensation. Many argue that while her kindness is admirable, it’s important for her to set boundaries and ensure she’s fairly compensated for the increased workload.

In my opinion, the nanny’s willingness to help shows incredible commitment and compassion, but it’s crucial that this arrangement be formalized with clear terms to protect her rights and well-being. Taking care of four young children is a significant responsibility, and it’s only fair that the family acknowledges her efforts with proper pay and support. Otherwise, this could lead to burnout and resentment, which benefits no one involved.

Ankit

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