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AITA for rejecting a bully from 10 years ago apology

by Ankit
September 20, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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A decade-old wound reopened with a simple message, stirring a storm of emotions long buried beneath the surface. The apology from a once-mean girl was an unexpected echo from the past, but the present held heavier burdens—silent battles with brain trauma and the fragile strands of memory slipping away.

In the face of this fragile healing, the past could no longer be untangled or relived. The choice to gently close the door was a powerful act of self-preservation, a testament to the strength it takes to protect one’s peace amidst the shadows of old pain and new challenges.

AITA for rejecting a bully from 10 years ago apology

A mean girl from middle school texted me this morning...

I wasn't sure if I should respond but I thought...

I told her I'm glad she's on a healing journey...

I explained to her that I obtained brain trauma 2...

specific). I told her I didn't want to talk it...

I told her if I did remember I would reach...

I also told her it wasn't physically possible for us...

I mentioned that I am preoccupied with my disability and...

I said in comparison to what I'm dealing with I...

She came back at me and said 'well I tried'....

We exchanged a few more words and she ended up...

I feel like I'm not the AH because I was...

I could be the AH for responding in the first...

I'm having a really hard time dealing with the trauma...

ETA: thank you for the judgement NTA and thank you...

Some people are suggesting I block so I'm going to...

We are both iPhone users and she might have been...

(Im not sure how she would have my Apple ID...

find on google.

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

br-at- NTA A real apology has to include acceptance of...

The receiver owes nothing in the situation. If it was...

sorry to hear you are going through all that" "Well...

SydSmol yours.: NTA Therapist need to tell their clients that...

For some people it might be years too late. Its...

Knitsanity Sorry to hear about that happened with your grocery...

One of my HS bullies emailed me about 10 years...

I searched online and I found out he went nowhere...

working cleaning a punk rock concert venue. I was really...

Glum_Orange7599 They ag: NTA- by her reaction, she was apologizing...

not to make things right. Don't respond and if she...

Mud_Psycho Old bully is feeling insecure so digs up an...

ends up bullying them all over again.

Powerful_Sandwich854 NTA - From her reaction it seems she hasn't...

Like you said, it seems like she is only doing...

It is perfectly okay for someone to not accept an...

Genuine apologies shouldn't be done for praise or expecting forgiveness,

yukidaviji it should be done because that person deserves it...

The fact she got mad at you for not accepting...

She didn't apologize because she realized how her actions seriously...

Not because she was truly sorry of all the pain...

ComfortableZebra2412 NTA you don't have to care one bit about...

cla*s="comment_author">BigRad_Wolf: NTA, wow she is still a bit of one...

Glad you didn't give her what she was looking for,...

awkwrdgirl NTA she's not learnt anything and she's trying to...

its your choice and given the circumstances I think you're...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear many people empathize with the OP’s decision to set boundaries despite the long-past nature of the apology. Users appreciate the honesty and self-awareness in recognizing that revisiting old wounds isn’t always healing, especially when compounded by recent trauma and disability. Some commenters also reflect on the complexity of forgiveness and how timing, personal growth, and current circumstances heavily influence whether reconnecting is beneficial or necessary.

In my opinion, this story highlights an important aspect of personal healing: it’s okay to acknowledge that some apologies, while meaningful, may not fit into our present lives or emotional states. The OP’s gentle but firm response respects both her own needs and the other person’s attempt at closure without reopening painful chapters. Ultimately, healing is a deeply individual process, and protecting one’s mental health should always take priority.

Ankit

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