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I Left My Pregnant Girlfriend Because I Refuse To Be A Father And I Have No Regrets

by Ankit
September 20, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 25 mins read
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In the tangled web of love and responsibility, a young man stands at a devastating crossroads, grappling with the weight of impending fatherhood he never desired. His heart shatters as he chooses to walk away from the life growing inside his pregnant girlfriend, igniting a storm of judgment, pain, and emotional turmoil that neither could have anticipated.

This is a raw, heartrending tale of choices that cut deep, where trust is broken and futures are forever altered. It exposes the fragile balance between personal freedom and the inescapable consequences of love, forcing everyone involved to confront the harsh realities of what it truly means to be a parent—or to refuse the role entirely.

[New Update] – AITAH for breaking up with my pregnant girlfriend because I don’t want to be a father?

**I am NOT OOP. OOP is** u/BurningBurner1600 **Originally posted to**...

com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/17ebm9n/aitah_for_breaking_up_with_my_pregnant_girlfriend/?

share_id=Rap64SDkCIX2uIASqgI1U&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1) **[New Update] - AITAH for breaking up with my...

because I don't want to be a father?** **NEW UPDATE...

emotional manipulation, baby trapping, denial of healthcare, refusing parenthood!

< --- **RECAP** **Editor's Note: OOP has posted his Update...

com/r/AITAH/comments/15idrxb/aitah_for_breaking_up_with_my_pregnant_girlfriend/) - **August 4, 2023** AITA for breaking up with...

I (25M) had been with my now ex (23F) for...

I wanted to avoid a child. I have known for...

outdoors stuff, etc.). Unfortunately for me, my ex didn't have...

The first thing I did was suggest an abortion.

We don't live in a state where it's legal so...

I have a stable job and make good money so...

She works as a receptionist and doesn't make a lot...

That's when she told me she was hoping to keep...

Beyond just my dislike of children, I'm not ready for...

but she kept insisting that I'd have a change of...

After a long exchange I told her that if she...

I broke up with her and told her that I...

Since then she's been frantically texting me, begging me to...

The other day she texted me saying how she can't...

She called me an a*shole, an a**ser, and a s***st....

I certainly feel shitty, I really liked her and we...

I'm already bitter about the fact that I'll have to...

I also feel it isn't right for a parent who...

I'd just end up taking that pent up anger and...

I certainly feel like one, but I also stand by...

I met with a doctor last year and asked about...

It's a conservative state and while I dislike the politics,...

Someone said I should have flown elsewhere to get one,...

On the topic of birth control, I bought the condoms...

I asked her on our first date if she was...

Maybe foolish to just believe her, but if she was...

I a*sumed she was on the pill since that's the...

That being said, I'll follow your advice and lawyer up...

Thank you for your judgements, I've been away for a...

I'll be checking back periodically and replying to some people,...

She has someone representing her pro bono.

It has been made clear to my ex and her...

A paternity test is scheduled for next Wednesday. I don't...

If the child is mine we will go to court...

Another clarifying edit: I was gone for a while and...

At the beginning I said I made sure to use...

Just wanted to make that clear. She told me she...

I was under the a*sumption that she didn't want kids,...

I understand it happens, feeling change or whatever, but for...

I'll update on Wednesday. BTW the text will take a...

**Update 2: ** Reddit isn't letting me out the full...

**RELEVANT COMMENTS** **Commentator asks about his family and their support**...

Obviously what you've experienced is very difficult, so I'm sorry...

They have been hounding me ever since I turned 20...

I've already told them I don't want kids and my...

If they found out about the kid and that I...

> >About how I'll feel in the future, I honestly...

I know that right now I 100{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} don't want kids,

and I'm going off that feeling to a*sume how I'll...

so I've come to peace with the idea that if...

If for some reason I felt regret I wouldn't try...

If the kid does find me one day I'll just...

sorry" or "I was 25 and I thought I didn't...

it's been one of the biggest regrets of my life...

> >I don't know what gave you the impression that...

I just feel pity for the child, cus it isn't...

but on a personal level of what is best for...

I feel bad about it, but I'm putting myself and...

**apprehensive_cactus: ** It's extremely unlikely than she would give up...

It's extremely emotional and we're wired to take care of...

She really needs to stop hoping you're all going to...

Does she have family willing to help? Her own parents?...

She can totally do this without you - but it...

> **OP: ** I don't know that much about her...

They live in a different city too. That's about the...

**Alternative_Ad5613: ** I would consider locking down that pathway before...

You know blocking her before she sees your mom comment...

By the sounds of it if she makes contact with...

You definitely have contact with your ex and her child...

Am not saying you need them but I feel like...

Your making right call here and now balls in your...

I live near and work in a city of 1.5...

> **OP: ** I don't have a Facebook so my...

I have a good job and I like my apartment...

I plan to get some sort of legal agreement signed...

**Editor's Note: The second update was posted twice, in the...

com/user/BurningBurner1600/comments/16b3mff/update_2/) - **September 5, 2023** Sorry for the lateness, but...

When I saw my ex I had a talk with...

and she told me she was on birth control and...

She was hopeful that I would come around to that...

Option 1, get an abortion in any state of her...

but I need to come with and get confirmation that...

Option 3, keep the child and I pay my court...

and have absolutely 0 involvement with her or the child...

She kept telling me that I would be a loving...

and to imagine our future together with a daughter. I...

She refuses to get an abortion, but is scared to...

She told me that if I'm with her during the...

She also said if I change my mind about fatherhood...

I have made it very clear I don't want any...

I'm not sure what I should do since I would...

but I also don't want to be around the baby...

**Editor's note: The latest update has screenshots, but the full...

com/user/BurningBurner1600/comments/17g8u5q/update_3/) - **October 25, 2023** Finally back with another update....

Some of this advice has been helpful or interesting. Some...

It was the 1st time we had talked in over...

I decided the best way to ensure the conversation was...

I told her that I was giving up on abortion...

My ex wants the baby, I know she does, and...

I have to work within reality, and at this point...

I made it very clear to her that I will...

I made it clear she needs to drop the idea...

She acknowledged that there will be no happy family between...

Nobody is going to get what they want, so it's...

The new goal that we have agreed upon is this:...

the child. In other words: I will not be involved...

I won't be in the delivery room and I will...

she is only making around $60K/year from her job, and...

By contrast I only have around 10K in student debt...

now making roughly 150K/year. Additionally there is plenty of room...

with income growth potential all the way up to 325K/year,...

I'll have all my debts paid off by the end...

What I'm trying to say is I have money and...

I would prefer to avoid court, so I worked with...

if someone has a problem they can go to court...

I will pay for all of my ex's medical expenses...

When the baby is born I will pay my ex...

This will leave my ex with breathing room and allow...

We don't have exact math, but our estimate we found...

Once she has paid all her debt off, the monthly...

If my ex finds a man who she marries and...

Additionally, I will create a savings account that my ex...

I will then deposit $500 into the account on the...

Based on the math we did the account will have...

but that should be a significant help for her to...

so she only gets the money if she attends college....

This is where my lovely sister comes in. She and...

Based on another comment I got (which I cannot find...

The woman decided to take on an active role and...

Knowing my sister was already interested in raising a child...

She was very excited about the prospect if my ex...

When they have time they will help my ex with...

They'll also be extra family for the child, helping make...

As I'm sure you've noticed, my sister is lesbian. I've...

My sister came out at 14, from then on she...

No more birthdays, no more Christmas, no more family dinners....

Obviously it was extremely toxic, what the did was awful,...

My 2nd condition for the college fund is that my...

What they want most in the world is grandchildren, and...

I made it clear that if I ever find out...

Based on advice from someone whose father came back and...

I don't want to come back, so I thought it...

I'm going to be truthful but try to also be...

but just because I never wanted to be a father...

I'll end it by wishing her good luck in life....

When she turns 18, if she has questions about me...

If the letter still can't satisfy her and she wants...

I feel I owe it to her to answer her...

My ex also felt strongly about wanting my name on...

In summary: My ex will keep the child, I will...

I will provide a college fund on the condition that...

my sister and her wife will help my ex by...

and I will write a letter to my daughter explaining...

Full thing won't post in comments so I'll post it...

Also for anyone who hasn't seen I'll be getting a...

**OP's text below the screenshots: ** I wrote out this...

Sorry it's inconvenient, but this is the only way I...

I'll also post the full text in the comments if...

com/user/BurningBurner1600/comments/18scp5q/update_4/) - **Dec 27, 2023** Happy holidays to everyone, hope...

I got our terms from update 3 written up into...

Some things weren't legally enforceable so those have remained part...

The basic contract is I have 0 visitation rights and...

I will be paying for her medical care during the...

5K/month in child support and an additional 500 will be...

The handshake part of the agreement is the college fund...

I deposit $500/month until the kid turns 18, then the...

If she decides to forgo higher education she will instead...

We sc**pped the idea of a letter, if she wants...

My sister will still be involved in helping ex with...

Ex is pretty far into pregnancy at this point and...

**RELEVANT COMMENTS** **Commentator asks about the role OOP's sister will...

and contacts with the ex/the child's mother** > **OOP: **...

She can be as involved or uninvolved as she wants,...

> > I'm paying her because it's either this contract...

plus I feel I got decently favorable terms. I guess...

> > I'm gonna sign away my parental rights, but...

It's more just a symbolic thing to make sure I...

Sometimes courts can force a father who doesn't sign his...

> > Ex's ultimate goal is a happy family, so...

If he adopts her then my payments cease but the...

> > Beyond monthly payments I will have 0 contact...

If I find someone I'd want to marry then I'd...

If it's a deal breaker and it ends the relationship...

If she does I'll probably just be straight up and...

I will not remain in contact with her if she...

I don't want a sustained relationship, so it's gonna be...

she will quickly figure out you are probably her dad...

I wasn't given a phone till I was 13 and...

For as annoying and conservative as my parents were, this...

If my ex doesn't raise the kid like this that's...

The plan is that once she gets a social media...

# **REMINDER - THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

knittedjedi It feels like OOP is optimistic about a lot...

..

opensilkrobe This would be a great plan if everyone involved...

cla*s="comment_author">throwawaygremlins: Kid is gonna find OOP real quick, like early...

books-and-beers This contract thing may work... for about six whole...

Djimi365 Yeah this isnt nearly going to work out how...

Especially if his sister does end up being involved in...

I mean what kind of deluded reality does he live...

targayenprincess 2 and 2 together?: Lmao on paper sure, it's...

I'll eat my hat if this doesn't turn messy real...

Think-Active I know this is such a minor point but...

Remarkable-Ad-2476 til 18...: This guy seems to have a lot...

cla*s="comment_author">RonStopable88: I'm most interested in the lesbian aunts.

They totally aren't going to have a bajillion photos on...

They totally wont talk about their brother in front of...

The_bookworm65 Oh and they totally will stay besties with this...

hope OOP found out that Planned Parenthood does vasectomies on...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that the community is deeply divided on this story. Many sympathize with the original poster (OOP) for standing firm in his decision not to become a father, emphasizing the importance of personal choice and readiness for parenthood. Others, however, criticize his decision as lacking empathy and responsibility, especially given the circumstances involving the pregnancy and the emotional complexities that followed. The discussion around consent, respect, and future planning also highlights how complex and emotional these situations can be.

Overall, this story serves as a reminder of the importance of clear communication and mutual understanding in relationships, especially when major life decisions like parenthood are involved. While opinions differ, the common thread is the need for honesty and respect for each other’s feelings and choices. It’s a difficult situation with no easy answers, but the dialogue it has sparked can hopefully encourage more thoughtful conversations about responsibility and boundaries in relationships.

Ankit

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