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WIBTA if I contacted the adoption agency my dad wants to adopt from and tell them to not allow it?

by Ankit
September 20, 2025
in WIBTA
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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A daughter watches in silent disbelief as her father, a man whose shadow looms large with fear and unresolved pain from her childhood, announces his intention to adopt a child at an age when most would seek peace and reflection. The weight of his past—a tempestuous, distant figure cloaked in rigid beliefs and emotional neglect—makes the prospect not just daunting, but heartbreaking.

She carries the scars of a fractured family, where love was conditional and support scarce, and now faces the chilling possibility that history might repeat itself for an innocent new soul. In this moment, her heart aches not just for herself, but for the child who might inherit the same cold legacy she fought so hard to escape.

WIBTA if I contacted the adoption agency my dad wants to adopt from and tell them to not allow it?

Throw away because extended family follows me on the main....

For one, both my dad and his wife are approaching...

And maybe if he was like Mr Rogers, it would...

He has 4 kids and 100{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} of us are low...

Growing up he was a pretty hands off parent, and...

He is anti therapy. My mom died when I was...

For example, he scheduled my moms funeral on my siblings...

" I cant remember the last time my dad told...

I DEEPLY worry about how he would parent a child...

I think he thinks of this as just hosting a...

I think he would tell the kid to go to...

and not a*sist them to acclimate to their school/life/etc at...

and his wife (who he married real quick after my...

so i dont know why they feel the need to...

I dont know. Would I be the a*shole if I...

And if I am not the a*shole by doing this,...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

hclarice Nta. While they will probably deny him becoming an...

they should still know that he was an abusive parent...

Reasonable_rac**n Do 70-year-olds even get approved to adopt?

If it looks like it might actually happen, yes, get...

JhonWeak56 YWNBTA: NTA, it's a reasonable things to do even...

they are grown up adults who can and will defend...

However the child they will adopt can't defend himself he's...

Euphoric-Round-5182 the story before giving them a child to raise,...

In fact I'd say you would be the A if...

Nothing is more harmful to all ready vulnerable kids than...

Those are the people who beat, a**se and often k**l...

Omnic_Predator NTA as an adoptee it is not something you...

at their age that is a commitment to the child...

but wanting to adopt is a whole other ball game.

Adopted children oftentimes require things like therapy or extra support...

cla*s="comment_author">Compet*tiveSquid: NTA I'd tell them. I a*sume they do background...

so you are really just doing some legwork for the...

If they contacted you and asked for a reference (I...

If yes, nothing wrong with being proactive.

SpookyMamaH Adoption usually has to get references from existing kids...

havokreed I wouldn't worry too much about it.: NTA. I'd...

TurtleKing105 Hey there! Former youth social worker here. Big NTA...

It's unlikely they would be allowed to adopt (especially a...

but depending on where you are and the need for...

One of their biggest worries is starting the process, getting...

CrissyWissy19xx NTA. You know better than anyone If he would...

Has he apologized to you for things in the past...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear many share the original poster’s concerns about the adoption plan. Users pointed out the potential challenges of adopting a child at such an advanced age, emphasizing the emotional and physical demands that come with parenting. Several commenters also echoed worries about the father’s past behavior and temperament, suggesting that a stable, nurturing environment might be difficult to provide. The consensus leans toward prioritizing the well-being of the child, with many advising the poster to trust her instincts given her history with her father.

In my view, while the desire to expand one’s family is understandable, adopting a child requires readiness on multiple levels—not just health, but emotional capacity and stability. Given the father’s history and the complicated family dynamics, this decision seems fraught with risks that could negatively impact a vulnerable child. It’s important for the family to have honest conversations and perhaps involve professionals to assess the situation fully before moving forward. Ultimately, the best interests of the child should always come first.

Ankit

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