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AITA for going on a week long vacation by myself without my wife of 11 years after my cat died?

by Ankit
September 22, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 4 mins read
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Grief can carve deep, silent wounds, and for this man, the loss of his lifelong companion shattered his world in a way words hardly capture. After eighteen years of unspoken loyalty and unconditional love from his cat, the void left behind was unbearable, driving him to seek solace alone in a foreign land, away from the eyes that might not understand his pain.

Yet, in the quiet spaces between sorrow and solitude, the fragile threads of his marriage began to strain. His wife’s hurt grew not just from the loss itself, but from the isolation he chose, a secret escape that left her feeling distant and unheard. The unspoken emotions linger, testing their bond in the aftermath of grief and silence.

AITA for going on a week long vacation by myself without my wife of 11 years after my cat died?

I'll try to make this short. I'm (38m) and my...

He was literally my whole life as cheesy as that...

The week after I just couldn't take it. I was...

I didn't tell my wife until I got there. I...

She was really upset I didn't talk to her about...

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

evhanne Oh yeah. YTA. Need to be by yourself for...

dunemi But you didn't tell her in advance, basically lied...

I feel bad for you, especially because I know the...

That's nuts. Not because you need permission, but because she's...

If you really can't show her your grief and sadness,

grumpyspudgal then I think you have to wonder how much...

Hauling off to a different godd**n country without telling your...

mustluvcats YTA. I'm surprised she didn't tell you to just...

witchwhichwish So I just lost my cat recently, he was...

I was sobbing for a week prior to and the...

YTA big time Why can't you rely on your wife...

madelinegumbo YTA Not for needing the same time, but just...

nyorifamiliarspirit That's not how marriage is supposed to work.: Oh...

You LIED to your spouse and got on a plane...

maybenomaybe YTA.

I'm trying to think of circumstances where it might be...

Especially since you evidently pre-booked this trip by at least...

390TrainsOfficial This wasn't some grief-stricken act of spontaneity, you planned...

If you wanted time alone to grieve, that's fair.

Lying to your wife - saying you're off to work...

dogsrule7 YTA- it was also your wife's cat.

Also, who the heck leaves the country without talking to...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it seems many people empathize with the original poster’s need for personal space during a tough time. Losing a pet who has been a lifelong companion can be profoundly painful, and sometimes people cope in ways that feel best for them in the moment. While communication is key in a marriage, some commenters understood the poster’s decision to seek solitude without burdening his wife immediately, though they also acknowledged that openness might have helped avoid misunderstandings.

In my view, grief manifests uniquely for everyone, and it’s important to respect individual coping mechanisms. However, balancing personal needs with the feelings of a partner is crucial to maintaining trust and connection. The poster’s guilt is understandable, but this experience could serve as a reminder to nurture communication in the relationship, especially during vulnerable times. Ultimately, empathy and honesty can pave the way for healing together.

Ankit

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