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AITA for keeping a secret which could have helped my friend in her divorce proceedings?

by Ankit
September 23, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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For ten years, she had watched her friend Kate navigate life’s ups and downs, always protective and hopeful. But beneath the surface, a shadow loomed—a man who wore arrogance like armor, masking the betrayal that would soon shatter the fragile trust they all held dear.

When the truth emerged from a simple work task, it wasn’t just emails that were exposed, but the raw, painful reality of deception. The discovery cut deeper than any code could mend, unraveling lives and forcing a reckoning no one was prepared for.

AITA for keeping a secret which could have helped my friend in her divorce proceedings?

I have known my friend, Kate, for a decade. She...

She has one kid, Ben from previous marriage. Andy loved...

My company develops and maintains software to many companies. We...

While I was there, I noticed that some mails were...

Quarantine is when someone's office mail recieves mail from an...

Long story short, I fixed the problem caused by the...

One such emails was to Andy and it was very...

There are several reasons why I never mentioned this to...

I didn't want to jeopardize that. 3. I could get...

Kate pretty much gets nothing except alimony because of her...

He didn't give Kate or Ben any warning and just...

Kate has been really struggling since the divorce. She isn't...

Here is where I might be the a*shole. Few days...

She told me how it would have been so much...

She thinks she might have gotten a lot more at...

Ben is acting out and Kate told me that he...

Kate and Ben's relationship is strained because Ben doesn't know...

I found out about the clause too late. But I...

I definitely know that Andy is an a*shole. But am...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

EliteEmerz NTA You legally can't tell her.

Also seems like besides what you deleted there is no...

mckinnos So all you are going to do is hurt...

Andy's a giant AH. You're in a bind. You legally...

I know you want to help your friend, but it's...

cyfermax >So, basically I screwed both Kate and Ben by...

Andy screwed everyone, not you. Would it be nice if...

Are you an a*shole for not jeopardising your entire career...

You could have helped, but that doesn't mean you had...

youbadoubadou and I don't know how anyone could blame you...

why didn't you try and warn her anonymously?

Like make a fake insta and send her a message...

BusyLight32 "There are several reasons why I never mentioned this...

I cannot reveal this information legally. 2. If my company...

I could get blacklisted. 4. If Andy finds out, he...

Kufat " NTA I work in IT and these are...

you contact an ethics hotline or similar to verify your...

There's no attorney-mistress confidentiality, so privilege wouldn't apply; you'd be...

In other words,

did you do the necessarily legwork to be *certain* there...

cla*s="comment_author">BlackWithATearOfRed: NTA It would be unreasonable to expect you to...

kucky94 NTA Your hands were tied on this one.

Pretend-Preparation Yikes idk I get your job was on the...

destroyed. An anonymous letter in the mail or instagram message...

You could have waited long enough after servicing his computer...

known. Actually!

Reverend_Vader NTA A woman i know well was dating a...

sacked for stalking and hara*sing his GF via work IT...

say "run this guy is dangerous" but i couldn;t as...

After reading through the Reddit comments on this story, it’s clear that many readers felt conflicted about the situation. Some empathized deeply with the narrator, applauding the difficult position of discovering Andy’s betrayal yet remaining loyal to Kate by not immediately intervening. Others debated whether it was right to withhold such a painful truth from a close friend, stressing the importance of honesty in relationships, even when it hurts.

In my opinion, this story highlights the complexity of friendship and trust. While the narrator’s discretion shows care for Kate’s feelings, it also raises questions about when and how to reveal difficult truths. Ultimately, navigating such sensitive discoveries requires balancing empathy with honesty, always prioritizing the well-being of those involved.

Ankit

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