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AITA for telling my daughter she wouldn’t be a good mother?

by Ankit
September 23, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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An 18-year-old daughter, grappling daily with the heavy weight of mental and physical health challenges, faces the world with a quiet resilience. Her severe executive dysfunction means even the simplest tasks, like preparing a meal, require a helping hand—a stark reminder of the battles she fights beneath the surface.

Raised amidst the shadows of neglect and mental illness in their family, she has come to a profound self-awareness, recognizing that not everyone is destined to be a parent. Embracing her identity and the freedom it brings, she chooses a path free from societal expectations, finding strength in acceptance and the courage to define her own future.

AITA for telling my daughter she wouldn’t be a good mother?

My daughter is 18 years old and struggles with many...

Most days she needs my help preparing simple meals for...

But in recent years, she's changed her stance from adoption...

and they were both incredibly neglectful. She sees how we...

Eventually she came to the conclusion that some people simply...

She's gay and says that she feels free from the...

I said that might change as she grows older, but...

She seemed happy to have her opinion validated I thought...

She demanded I apologize to my daughter and take it...

My daughter is young, but she's an adult. She's had...

being the child of a mother who wasn't fit for...

I just want to know if I messed up by...

TLDR; my 18 year old mentally ill daughter said she...

Edit: Clarity Edit 2: Some people seem to be vilifying...

Maybe I misunderstood the sub, but I was just looking...

We're teammates, not opponents.

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

a**eholierthanthou NTA. This is a hard fact of life.

Parenthood comes easier to some than to others, some are...

and sometimes your gene code has it in for you....

to which you agreed, I think that's completely fair. In...

anathema_deviced NTA. You said things might change later,

but that as things are in the moment you agree...

You're validating her where she is now and acknowledging (and...

coconutshave NAH- I see both sides but I think it's...

"being a parent is not for everyone, and if you...

But even when we say things about ourselves having a...

UpdootMcGee Going to go against the grain a little and...

But the truth can still hurt, especially when it's about...

For some people, parenthood is perceived as the single most...

hisimpendingbaldness so to hear that you'd written it off for...

neverthelessidissent holds, and I think you covered that.: NTA. I...

oof_oof_there_i_go Your daughter seems even lower functioning than my mom:...

I think your wife is wrong, but she clearly cares...

If so, the part about her feelings potentially changing as...

Your wife might be infantilizing your daughter a bit, but...

SonorousBlack NTA. You are supporting her.

jugglingporcupines She may struggle with mental health issues, but she...

and realistic. I'm honestly impressed by the level of maturity...

You are right to be proud!

Egyptian_Deity I know a girl who refuses to have kids...

disabilities her mother gave her. She can't work a full...

and could never live alone, and she doesn't want to...

Nta, and its good that your daughter is able to...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize deeply with the daughter’s self-awareness and her decision not to have children. Users praised her maturity in recognizing her own limitations and the potential impact on future generations, especially given her family’s history of mental illness and neglect. The general consensus seems to be that choosing not to have children can be a responsible and courageous decision when done thoughtfully, rather than succumbing to societal pressures.

From my perspective, this story highlights the importance of understanding personal boundaries and mental health in family planning. It’s refreshing to see a parent support their child’s autonomy and mental well-being so openly. Ultimately, respecting such choices fosters healthier family dynamics and challenges outdated norms about what fulfillment and success should look like in life.

Ankit

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