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AITA for telling my friend that if she couldn’t keep up because of her disability, she just shouldn’t come

by Ankit
September 24, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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Beneath the surface of a tightly knit group of friends, tension quietly brews as Sadie’s recurring disregard for her medication threatens the harmony they’ve long cherished. Her selective lapses, especially before activities she dislikes, cast a shadow over plans painstakingly crafted with hope and excitement, revealing cracks in the foundation of trust and reliability.

This fragile bond is tested further on a trip meant to celebrate their friendship—a journey marked by shared dreams and collective effort. Yet, Sadie’s sudden flare-ups and avoidance force others to pick up the pieces, leaving the group to grapple with disappointment and the painful question of how much sacrifice is too much for the sake of companionship.

AITA for telling my friend that if she couldn’t keep up because of her disability, she just shouldn’t come

I (26 F) have a pretty close group of friends....

Despite this, Sadie has a bad habit of 'forgetting' to...

This time, it was on a group trip we've been...

we each decided to take a day and plan an...

The first issue with Sadie came up when getting to...

Right before it was Sadie's turn, she had a flare...

We all reminded Sadie several times to take her medication...

This is when I got genuinely upset because this was...

The actual fight that led to this post occurred on...

This was because she had set alarms to take her...

I decided to take all my friends on a trail...

In the basics lesson, we were all paired off based...

Well, 1/4th of the way through the trail, she started...

She begged me to turn around. Finally, the ranger told...

In the car, I told her that she knew how...

She told me that I was being ableist and that...

then maybe you shouldn't come on these trips anyway. "...

I didn't think I was in the wrong considering that...

My other friends agree that Sadie is inconvenient at times...

Edit: After reading almost every comment, I spoke to Sadie...

I tried to ask for more details on the medication...

but she said that she doesn't share any of that...

I completely understood this and did not push further. We've...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

Careless_World_1815 NTA. I also have a health condition that can...

and while I'm not sure whats up with Sadie, if...

She was able to keep on top them of for...

extinct_diplodocus Were there any other flares on the drive, or...

If Sadie had flare ups that messed up her own...

The fact that she's problem-free when she's doing something *she*...

She's messing up the planned activities and costing you money.

Shichimi88 You deserve to be able to take a trip...

FragrantEconomist386 Sadie is intentionally sabotaging your trip. I wouldn't invite...

Sadie has repeatedly refused to take responsibility for her disability...

Therefore she becomes a liability to her friends. She is...

You were not at all out of line for being...

TangledUpPuppeteer So I don't know how to vote because you...

You are one because you know what you said was...

but you're not apologizing for being mean to your friend....

As far as the rest of it,

latents I would have flipped my ever loving mind and...

is using her condition as an excuse. In the future...

and she understands that she will have to amuse herself...

I would also schedule her hour of driving at the...

Crafter_2307 I'm going to say NTA. Yes, you could've phrased...

I have a chronic condition/disability which "flares up" and at...

The pain can be intolerable at times, but the meds...

mean I don't know what day of the week it...

Plantcalendar NTA seems like she's ruining things almost purposefully

cla*s="comment_author">Outrageous-Muffin375: NTA What ist so difficult in setting an alarm...

My daughter has an illness that requires her to take...

If you have a chronic illness and do nothing to...

prairiemountainzen INFO: You say that your group of friends are...

you've gone on several trips together throughout the years, yet...

How is it that you know so little about her...

a crucial part of the trip, but once again, Sadie “forgot” to take her pills. When the flare-up hit, she couldn’t participate in the town tour, which left the group scrambling to adjust plans. The pattern of avoiding activities she didn’t want to join, under the guise of her disability flare-ups, was frustrating for everyone, especially after so much effort and money had been invested in the trip.

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many sympathize with the group’s frustration and feel that Sadie’s behavior was unfair and selfish. While it’s important to be understanding of disabilities, it’s equally valid to expect accountability when others’ time and money are involved. Ultimately, open communication and setting boundaries might be necessary for this friend group to maintain harmony and ensure future plans run smoothly.

Ankit

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