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I’m not going to be the MOH for my Sister’s Wedding because she’s marrying my bully

by Ankit
September 25, 2025
in Family
Reading Time: 17 mins read
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From the moment Lily entered the world, she felt like the shadow cast by her perfect twin sister, Violet—the desired daughter who arrived with ease, while Lily was deemed trouble from birth. Burdened by empathy and a biting wit, Lily navigates the painful reality of being the “spare,” the afterthought in a family that longed for just one girl.

Her story is raw and unfiltered, a poignant rant born from years of feeling overlooked and underestimated. Beneath the snark lies a heart aching for recognition, struggling to make sense of her place in a world where she was never quite enough.

I’m not going to be the MOH for my Sister’s Wedding because she’s marrying my bully

Yeah, pretty much the t*tle. This will be long because...

I lurk on subs like this all the time and...

longing for those moments back. So here's your warning. Don't...

As you might notice, I'm the snarky one. I've 4...

We were an oops baby and then the wtf babies...

Big difference. Mom tells the story often that Violet came...

So over time I just was like ‍ f**k it....

feminine, bright and bubbly, she's godd**n Jean Grey of the...

Not the cla*sic one more like that cartoon reboot from...

I'm only goth on Tuesdays, but I did have a...

) and when you're the less favorite girl of 6...

Violet was the first at everything (first to walk, talk,...

And hey, it's because she's kicka*s. My sister is the...

She's almost effortlessly *everything* people like and I was always...

First to get diagnoses with a learning disability, and first...

The first in the family to get what dad called...

We were really close and I didn't really notice us...

One being f**king Daniel Swift (fake name) - this sloppy...

When we were young most adults said that it was...

He always compared me to my sister and had to...

why is one of you pretty and the other isn't?...

Just a name to remind me that I was I...

I told on him once because a teacher found me...

I don't know how but he managed to turn it...

so I got suspended from the team *during the season*...

He once slapped me and I went to tell but...

My parents were so upset with me and my dad...

He would rant that I'm not the only kid and...

He called me the defective one, the spare, the botched...

When Daniel picked on me, I would ignore him, and...

It was the first year I was without his constant...

I feel terrible but I was so glad he wasn't...

I got into some hobbies, even made a good friend...

I live a state over and have my main job...

but hey this ain't Disney, sometimes being teacher sucks raw...

Sunny lives a city over from me which in all...

Violet and I are still close, and same with my...

Violet and I would have calls and sometimes facetimes. My...

she became a nurse but quickly realized she wanted to...

our hometown. She looks after our parents and make sure...

Last year she was all excited because she thought she...

Every picture of him he's this big ex military dude...

No shade if you do that too but if you...

You think I wasnt going to cyber stalk my only...

Former Marine, then contracted himself out before owning his own...

I was happy for my sister because she really was...

get married, have babies, ride off into the sunset, get...

And my sleuthing came up with nothing to naysay James...

shades more than life itself. F**k it, she's happy.

So this past Easter rolled around and I was talking...

I dont remember what I said but I said something...

She got quiet and kinda had the tone like "yeah...

I was confused because while I was close with my...

I said I don't remember crushing on a James. And...

Now, "Daniel's" irl name is pretty common so I was...

There wasn't much to say after that other than I...

She said she actually didn't realize James and Daniel were...

developing feelings and couldn't bear the thought of hurting me...

I decided to tell her a bit at Easter and...

This guy made my life h**l. Violet was devestated and...

" And "that was years ago maybe you've got it...

" And I just said "oh I do" and kept...

Father's Day, mom and dad's anniversary, a brother's birthday, you...

By this point,

I've told two of my brothers some of what's happening...

Once they knew though, they weren't happy. We all got...

My mother screamed with excitement, whooping through the restaurant telling...

When the parents went home, us siblings bar hopped the...

Vi pulled me aside and inquired why I was avoiding...

It's just complicated that he's my bully from school and...

She got quiet and said well thank goodness the bridesmaids...

Then she started talking dresses and I stopped her. I...

MOH usually is a big job and interacts a lot...

When they have kids? How do I plan to pull...

She broke down saying I am ruining everything for my...

I said whoa hold on what misconceptions? That he bullied...

" And she went on to say she confronted him...

Even now in our 30s he can't admit to pushing...

I told her before, I told her each time again...

and his friends would lie so it would be my...

of him". She huffed "okay then what if he apologizes...

You don't have to beleive me. It doesn't matter now...

When my dad dropped me off at the airport later...

that's my choice but when he and mom are gone,...

I kissed him goodbye and took my d**n flight. Now...

Then this morning I am added to a new chat...

I wanted to call her to remove this, but now...

h**l I will bartend, sing, give a speech, anything, but...

But it took years of therapy, lots of love from...

I don't purge anymore, I don't cut anymore, I actually...

And when I'm with my family, I'm labeled as trouble...

It feels like I can't be myself back home now...

I'm already the oddball, which hey someone's gotta be, and...

But I feel like I am up against the wall....

I fell asleep and woke up to over a thousand...

I really tried to read all the comments but it's...

(I DM part time) so I will try start replying...

My favorite comment of all time thus far that I've...

comments like that and trolls are a dime a dozen...

You wanted to catch me out but the explanation is...

He's African by decent but raised across the pond and...

Lol I guess I will have to name the brothers...

Here we go, in order of birth my siblings are...

John is the brother leaning on me about sulking it...

Very stereotypical eldest child syndrome. Anyway, Dad was the hands...

So he essentially is the boots on the ground with...

By the time Mom would talk to me about getting...

So she put me in lots of extracurriculars - I...

she hoped to keep me busy and well rounded to...

After I posted Jeremy called me to ask if I...

I told him everything about Daniel and now he's really...

As for why my own twin didn't know about my...

We were in seperate homerooms because we had a lot...

Plus I mentioned I have a slight stutter, it was...

All that to say, at school I saw my sister...

Anyway baby needs her coffee before Godzilla levels another city.

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

BriefHorror "Hey Everybody I was added to this chat by...

MOH because she is marrying my childhood bully who physically...

Please never contact me again as I will no longer...

Queasy-Sport-7234 NTA. I'm saying this gently - I don't think...

This man traumatised you for years, damaged your mental health...

He isn't remorseful and he's still lying about it and...

Old_Web8071 You're being generous to agree to attend the wedding.:...

don't go at all. Go NC on everyone who is...

By her marrying him, the "family" is ignoring you AGAIN,...

That's 3 strikes in 1 at bat Your whole d**n...

EverythinIsShinyCapn I'm surprised they didn't: "Now my sister is still...

My older brother is nudging me to just get over...

Then this morning I am added to a new chat...

I wanted to call her to remove this, but now...

frauleinsteve Even now he was lying about you. He never...

Tell everyone DEFINITIVELY that you can't be MOH. I'm sorry...

Upset_Structure3547 You do know now your whole family is bullying...

It's time you stand up for yourself and say no...

Gohighsweetcherry Oh beautiful soul don't let them minimise what he...

Please send this post to a member of your family...

Your experience with this disgusting excuse for a human being...

But your nobody's fool or punchbag.

Specialist-Path466 NTA You communicated exactly how you felt and explained...

with him.

They should've been there for you and the fact that...

CocoaAlmondsRock his character and how much he hasn't changed since...

He hasn't taken responsibility, and indeed, is still lying about...

Don't go to the wedding. If your family can't accept...

I'm sorry, but they've minimized and dismissed this your entire...

Tanja_Christine This made me sad. And angry.

I can feel the child's pain oozing out of what...

And what a lying coward he is.

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many readers resonated with the author’s feelings of being the “spare” sibling—overlooked and overshadowed despite their unique struggles and personality. The story struck a chord, especially with those who have experienced complicated family dynamics or felt like the less favored child. People appreciated the raw honesty and humor sprinkled throughout the post, which made a difficult topic more relatable and even uplifting in its own way.

In my opinion, this narrative highlights how deeply family roles and expectations can shape one’s identity and emotional well-being. It’s a reminder that every child, regardless of birth order or parental intentions, deserves to be seen and valued for who they are. The author’s self-awareness and wit add an important layer, showing that even in feelings of neglect, there’s room for resilience and self-acceptance. This story is a poignant glimpse into the complexities of sibling relationships and parental love.

Ankit

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