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WIBTA if I went behind my husbands back and got a job?

by Ankit
September 26, 2025
in WIBTA
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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For seventeen years, she has been the silent backbone of her family, sacrificing her own dreams to keep the household running. Yet, as the weight of financial strain and her husband’s dismissive attitude grows heavier, she finds herself at a crossroads—one where stepping into the light means defying the very person she once trusted most.

The offer of a job is more than just a paycheck; it’s a lifeline to independence, stability, and hope for a better future. Torn between loyalty and self-preservation, she contemplates a bold move that could change everything—not just for her, but for the children who deserve more than the shadows of a broken promise.

WIBTA if I went behind my husbands back and got a job?

I (38F) have been a stay at home mom for...

My husband (44M) is the only bread winner (if you...

Every time I bring up the job offer, he shuts...

I'm responsible for pick up and drop off for our...

because I am listed as his dependent) off of welfare...

Would i be the a*shole if I jumped the gun...

To be honest, getting this job would make me the...

Another advantage is that I would be able to put...

I typed out this text so fast, I didn't read...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

hatterson > put some money aside for my escape fund.

Uhhh, sounds like there's a lot more going on here...

PurpleMarsAlien INFO: Why do you want/need an escape fund?: NTA...

Exactly what kind of job does he have, if a...

(There are so many other questions I want to ask,...

Reddit_chitchat ): Probably exactly why he doesn't want you working....

If you are planning an escape route out of this...

including getting that job and saving money and being clever...

Explosivpotato NTA: If making $2400 a month makes you the...

you don't have a provider in your home and he...

If the guy was pulling in multiple-six figures and wants...

IamIrene that's at least a values conversation that can be...

getting this job would make me the main breadwinner And...

it sounds like he enjoys the financial power he has...

This might be considered financial a**se.

I'd find a local women's shelter/counselor and ask for their...

cla*s="comment_author">Jerseygirl2468: NTA Right off the bat,

I thought you should do it - it sounds like...

plus being 100{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} financially dependent on your partner is always...

AccomplishedChoice91 Then I saw the escape fund comment - you...

I got a job behind my daughter's dad's back when...

Ivetafox NTA but giiiiiiirl, you don't need his permission. If...

Alarming_Pop9759 Sounds like you're gonna be a great role model...

Your husband is financially and emotionally abusing you. Expect it...

Yes take the job, but be sure to have an...

The job is at a grocery store so you should...

Randomflower90 You can look into before or after school arrangements...

I've know people who work in retail for years and...

Why doesn't your husband want you to work?

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people support the idea of the original poster taking the job offer, especially given the financial strain and the husband’s controlling behavior. Commenters emphasized the importance of financial independence and personal autonomy, suggesting that the benefits of working would outweigh the risks of hiding it initially. Many also pointed out that the husband’s attitude toward the job offer seems unfair and dismissive, which could be a sign of deeper relationship issues.

In my opinion, the decision to take the job is a positive and empowering step for the original poster. While communication in a healthy relationship is crucial, sometimes prioritizing one’s own well-being and financial security must come first—especially if the partner is unsupportive or controlling. Taking this job could not only improve the family’s financial situation but also provide the poster with a sense of independence and a potential path toward a better future.

Ankit

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