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My wife is friends with the brother who bullied me for years and says I can’t stop her

by Jane Smith
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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From the outside, their bond seemed like any typical sibling relationship, but beneath the surface lay a painful truth. The younger brother’s heart bore the scars of relentless bullying from Dean, a torment that twisted every interaction into a battlefield of cruelty and humiliation. What others dismissed as harmless teasing was, in reality, a deep and enduring wound.

Each memory of Dean’s laughter and cruel jabs echoed louder in the younger brother’s mind—a constant reminder of the isolation and betrayal he endured. The relentless mockery over his body, his struggles, and his vulnerabilities painted a haunting picture of a childhood overshadowed by pain, where familial love was replaced by relentless torment.

AITA for being willing to divorce my wife because she’s become friends with the brother who bullied me my whole life?

I (32m) have a complicated relationship with my brother Dean...

I gave him some chances over the years but he...

He'd make fun of me for not being athletic like...

He'd say I looked like a fat (I was really...

He'd start laughing at me if I did anything like...

I had some stomach issues as a kid and he'd...

There were a few occasions during school where he'd loudly...

If I ever had friends over as a teenager Dean...

He did the same thing when I brought home my...

He'd say I'd die a virgin and no girl could...

I wouldn't go home because of this stuff and I...

I see now that they never did their best by...

They never "took sides" but that meant saying nothing while...

Sometimes they'd tell me he was maturing and stuff and...

We've been together for 6 years, married 4 and we...

But then she met Dean at my parents house,

sat through him doing the same shit which made me...

They text and make plans and I'm so hurt by...

She told me I don't get to police her relationships...

She also told me they have stuff in common and...

I told her given how he treats me I would...

She said when she met him it was just different...

I told her I didn't like it and we needed...

She asked if I'd really consider divorcing her over her...

She told me I was crazy and controlling and she...

My own friends and two of my cousins who know...

But I know this is a huge thing and will...

I have read some of those messages and they don't...

AITA for considering divorce over this?

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

gorillaboy75 NTA !

Your wife is way out of line and wouldn't be...

Comfortable-Focus123 NTA - "She said he's an a*s to me...

Your wife is prioritizing your AH brother over you, and...

CatProdder I am not sure if I could recover from...

Your brother doesn't get to behave that way without there...

And your wife should realise how her friendship with your...

FWIW I think anyone would feel betrayed by your wife...

GonnaBeIToldUSo You need to find out if your wife and...

Ok-Control-787 Your wife disgusts me and I hope this isn't...

shammy_dammy It's obvious that she's decided having a relationship with...

her marriage.

Away-Understanding34 "She said when she met him it was just...

overall" - wow, your wife is a giant AH. Partners...

Also, what kind of mother exposes her kids to a...

Strange_Depth_5732 He's wooing her.

He's making her feel like he's the better version of...

My husband's brother is a ma*sive piece of shit who...

If he wanted to be friends I'd go hang with...

shyfidelity I'm all about not policing g your partner's relationships....

It's weird to be so eager to befriend your bully....

Sure-Armadillo-4008 but if she's that callous, I'm not sure divorce...

Her actions are weird. If it was about kids knowing...

It can also help you mentally prepare for a divorce....

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many empathize deeply with the OP’s painful experiences. The consensus is that what the OP endured goes far beyond typical sibling teasing and crosses into bullying that had lasting emotional effects. Commenters often stressed the importance of setting boundaries and seeking support, whether from parents, friends, or professionals, especially when a family member consistently causes harm. Many expressed frustration that the parents seemingly didn’t intervene or protect the OP, which is a crucial aspect of the story.

In my opinion, this story highlights how complicated family relationships can be, especially when abuse is normalized or dismissed by others. While the hope is always for siblings to be sources of support, that isn’t guaranteed, and it’s important for individuals to prioritize their own well-being. The OP’s decision to share this story is a brave step toward validating their feelings and potentially starting the healing process. Ultimately, no one deserves to be treated cruelly, even by family, and recognizing that is the first step to moving forward.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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