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AITA for being honest about why my son doesn’t want to be involved in Deaf culture?

by Jane Smith
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In a world where silence often speaks louder than words, a family’s unwavering love and resilience shine through their journey with Spencer, their profoundly deaf middle child. Despite the challenges of navigating a hearing world, they embraced American Sign Language, creating a bridge of understanding and acceptance that transcended spoken language. Spencer’s path, marked by trials and triumphs, reflects the deep complexities of identity, belonging, and the courage to be true to oneself amidst judgment and misunderstanding.

As Spencer moves between two worlds—the Deaf community and the hearing society—he grapples with feelings of exclusion and the weight of expectations from both sides. His story is a poignant testament to the struggle for acceptance and pride in one’s identity, highlighting the emotional toll of feeling caught between cultures. Yet, within this struggle lies a powerful narrative of hope, resilience, and the enduring strength of family bonds that refuse to break, even when the silence feels overwhelming.

AITA for being honest about why my son doesn’t want to be involved in Deaf culture?

I have 3 kids. The middle (15) was born profoundly...

When my son (Spencer) was entering kindergarten we enrolled him...

It was about 30 minutes away but we thought it...

He liked it better but told us he sometimes felt...

When Spencer was younger we tried cochlear implants.

It didn't work for him but by the time he...

He asked to transfer to the local high school for...

He doesn't keep in contact with many people from his...

He said the final straw was when people told him...

My son isn't dating anyone but is hanging out with...

He said he doesn't want to put a girl through...

A mom friend of mine (Deaf with a Deaf daughter)...

My daughter was interested because she wants to become a...

My friend asked why Spencer was skipping events for Deaf...

I explained that I wasn't but she said all teens...

She said I'm allowing him to isolate himself from his...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

WebbieVanderquack NTA. I don't agree that you "need to be...

" or that "he'll resent you for it when he...

and while at his age you can encourage him to...

you also have to respect that he has given this...

fianchettoknight NTA. If the culture or community is worthwhile, they...

And I would find it hard to believe that all...

Your son may need to be exposed to a different...

fading__blue NTA. You're not "keeping him from his community",

you're respecting his decision not to interact with a group...

Even if he did decide to participate in the Deaf...

he's still not going to appreciate it if you force...

k**lingmequickly NTA.

Why would you push your son to be around people...

randomfirefly NTA. If he was being bullied, he is not...

You are not being selfish. That said, the issue is...

But I would encourage him to get in touch with...

rhetorical_twix > his culture NTA.

He doesn't need to limit his culture to the deaf...

Clickclacktheblueguy Maybe you can help him stay in touch with...

I took an ASL cla*s and one of the things...

it can get pretty toxic. Obligatory clarification that I would...

M0XE and I am aware that they are also a...

" There is not a one-size-fits-all way to live as...

Some people, with a variety of ranges or hearing loss,...

Some people want to attend schools or churches or what-have-you...

retailh**lgirl NTA if you force him to go he's gonna...

I can't pretend to understand the views on that cause...

jmsouthern1925 have to go to all the events to be...

I wholeheartedly say you are NTA. Furthermore, I applaud your...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many readers empathize with Spencer’s complex experience balancing his Deaf identity within both Deaf and hearing communities. Commenters highlight the importance of allowing individuals like Spencer to define their own identity without pressure from either side. Many also stress that the stigma surrounding cochlear implants and Deaf culture needs to be addressed with more understanding and acceptance, so kids like Spencer don’t feel isolated or shamed for their choices.

In my opinion, this story underscores the need for greater inclusivity and respect for diversity within the Deaf and hearing worlds alike. Families and schools should support children in exploring their identities freely, whether that means embracing Deaf culture, using technology like cochlear implants, or navigating both. Ultimately, Spencer’s journey is a reminder that acceptance—both from others and oneself—is key to thriving.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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