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My parents want me home for the holidays just to babysit my brother and I refused

by John Doe
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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She grew up in the shadow of relentless responsibility, her brother’s severe mental disability shaping every facet of her childhood. While he struggled to communicate and cope, she sacrificed her own dreams, trapped by the weight of caregiving and the unyielding demands of a family unwilling to let go.

Now, standing at the crossroads of her future with a coveted university scholarship, she faces a heartbreaking choice: pursue her own life six hours away or stay tethered to a home that never truly belonged to her. The fight with her parents is more than just about distance—it’s about breaking free from a lifetime of sacrifice and claiming the future she’s earned.

AITA for not going to my parents house for the holidays?

My (18F) brother (21M) is severely mentally disabled. He's mostly...

It was bad when he was smaller, but it's honestly...

My parents won't put him in residential care because they're...

but that meant I didn't really get to have a...

parents take care of the house and my brother. My...

I got a full academic scholarship to a really good...

at home. We had a big fight about it when...

My mom criticized my major because "I won't be able...

I've felt for a long time that the only reason...

I know they expect me to take care of him...

Now that I'm on my own, I finally feel happy...

I have a part time job and I'm saving up...

I've been seeing a counselor at school and she's helped...

I made arrangements to have thanksgiving with friends here and...

I need a break after exams. My grandparents are thrilled...

My mom threw a fit and told me I'm ungrateful,...

I probably shouldn't have but I lost it and told...

if they couldn't be happy about seeing me after a...

I feel bad because they are my parents and I...

Update: I talked to my grandmother last night and she...

I'm welcome to spend whatever school breaks I have with...

My mom called her and yelled at her a couple...

and if my parents can't calm down and speak to...

My parents have finally stopped blowing up my phone, so...

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

MySpiritAnimalIsJinx NTA Parentification is a form of a**se.

That is not your child, and not your responsibility. And...

Why should you have to give up your entire life...

Keep loving yourself because you deserve it. Also your grandparents...

Triscuitmeniscus so I'm glad you still have some: NTA.

I can understand parents being disappointed the first time their...

But the larger narrative reveals that your parents never really...

I'm sympathetic to the challenges your parents face, but not...

underwatermario2 Absolutely NTA, you poor thing...

you didn't sign up for taking care of a disabled...

alliu23 NTA - I'm so glad you found a counselor...

It is not your responsibility to give your parents a...

You deserve to make a life of your own, as...

KittyKittyMuffinPile NTA - Your counselor is right, you do need...

You've taken a back seat to unfair parenting, but that's...

the other children fade to black, and the limelight shines...

pinguthegreek Parents are wrong for doing this and ignoring the...

Don't budge on this at all. If they choose to...

You have made your future intentions clearly enough that they...

Yo__Adrienne Stick to your guns.: NTA: This is truly not...

Your parents need to make a decision about your brother...

You are ent*tled to a wonderful life full of peace,...

Libba_Loo NTA- What your parents did with you is called...

They may have felt they had no choice because money...

And it does sound as though their whole reason for...

cla*s="comment_author">AcceptableHome3: NTA AT ALL> Good on you for laying those...

You said it yourself, you gave up so much without...

And your feelings towards your brother are very valid, for...

lmco_ed NTA A wise parent would not pressure you to...

Hope to see you soon."

After reading the Reddit comments, it’s clear many people empathize deeply with the original poster’s (OP’s) difficult situation. The commenters largely support OP’s decision to pursue her education and independence, acknowledging the immense sacrifices she has already made for her brother and family. Many highlight the importance of self-care and personal growth, pointing out that OP’s future and well-being matter just as much as her brother’s care. There’s also a consensus that while family loyalty is important, it shouldn’t come at the expense of one’s own dreams and mental health.

In my opinion, OP’s choice to accept the scholarship and attend university far away is both brave and necessary. While her parents’ fears about residential care are understandable, OP deserves the chance to build a life beyond constant caregiving. Balancing family responsibility with personal aspirations is incredibly tough, but seeking support services, exploring respite care options, and setting healthy boundaries could help her family better share the caregiving burden. Ultimately, OP’s pursuit of her education can empower her to better support her brother in the long run, while also honoring her own needs.

John Doe

John is a seasoned writer with a passion for storytelling and technology.

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