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AITA for not taking hints from my SAHM friend to come help her with housework, errands, ch**es or volunteering to help?

by Michael Lee
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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In the quiet spaces between friendship and obligation, a delicate tension brews. One woman, worn thin by the demands of motherhood and partnership, reaches out for support, while the other grapples with her own silent battles, craving solitude and healing.

Their lives, once intertwined through shared errands and caregiving, now drift apart under the weight of unspoken needs and misunderstood boundaries. It is a poignant reminder that even the closest bonds can fray when personal struggles call for space and self-preservation.

AITA for not taking hints from my SAHM friend to come help her with housework, errands, chores or volunteering to help?

My friend has an 18 month old and is a...

In the past, I have helped her with errands in...

I have recently had my own things I'm dealing with......

I took two weeks off (first break in years) between...

need a break and some me time and the toddler...

set of hands for the toddler (I'm sure it is...

wasn't making any plans this week. She hasn't directly asked...

she says "I know it's hard for you too but...

That's why I have stayed child free on purpose, they...

Rather than taking the hints and offering to help,

I suggested she ask her baby daddy/boyfriend/partner to help her...

She rattles off an excuse about why he can't or...

Am I the a*shole (or terrible friend) for putting my...

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

StAlvis " I believe her! That's why I have stayed...

really, *really*, *really*, **REALLY**,

**REALLY** want kids and enthusiastically embrace all the myriad ways...

Consistent-Leopard71 No one's twisting your arm. You keep on living...

Not your kid, not your responsibility. She is your friend...

She chose to have a baby and now she seems...

RevolutionarySea15 her. Take care of yourself, you deserve your down...

You're doing a good job so far deflecting her hints....

Don't see her at all during your leave. Like don't...

Or else say you'll be offline or out of touch...

drakkya If you're talking to her every day and she's...

horrible friend.

I actually think it's quite bold (that the nice variety)...

efrisbee a job change immediately after.: NTA at all.

This isn't your responsibility, its kind of you to help...

especially if you need to take care of yourself. If...

If she doesn't want to put the kid in daycare,...

ParsimoniousSalad You aren't co-parenting with her, so NTA.

LargeEgg1 NTA it's bullshit that the father doesn't help, he's...

RadiantFusion0711 you are her friend, not her babysitter.: NTA.

You need that time for yourself and this isn't your...

and while it can be a real ch**e to take...

I left stores with a tantrum throwing toddler once or...

waitingforsolace Enjoy your time off and recharge your batteries, self...

You didn't create the child so why would you jump...

Single mother's do these things regularly, tell her speak to...

HoldFastO2 NTA. You're ent*tled to your vacation time to recharge...

Enjoy your time off.

After reading through the Reddit comments on this story, many users empathized with the friend needing personal space and time to focus on her mental health and new job transition. Several pointed out that while helping a friend is kind, it’s important to set boundaries and recognize when you need to prioritize yourself, especially during stressful life changes. Others felt the stay-at-home mom might have been a bit insensitive expecting constant availability, given the circumstances.

In my opinion, friendship should be a balance of support and understanding. It’s commendable that the single woman has helped so much in the past, but everyone deserves a break without guilt or pressure. The toddler and errands may be challenging, but it’s not an obligation to always be the helper. True friends respect each other’s limits and appreciate when someone needs to recharge.

Michael Lee

Michael is a tech enthusiast sharing insights on software development and gadgets.

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