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AITA for refusing to share my engagement party with my non-engaged sister?

by John Doe
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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After four years of love and commitment, she finally said yes, ready to celebrate a new chapter with an engagement party. But what was meant to be a joyous occasion took a complicated turn when her parents insisted on making it a joint celebration with her sister—who, despite a decade-long relationship and a promise ring, was not engaged. The unspoken tension simmered beneath the surface, as everyone around them quietly questioned the reality of her sister’s hopes.

Caught between family expectations and the harsh truth, she grappled with the fragile line between hope and denial. Her sister clung to a promise ring as if it were a vow, while the rest of the world saw only uncertainty. The moment her fiancé confronted the boyfriend with the simple question, “Are you guys engaged?” the illusion shattered, exposing the raw emotions lying beneath years of waiting and unspoken dreams.

AITA for refusing to share my engagement party with my non-engaged sister?

I just got engaged to my partner of 4 years,...

They are paying for everything, but want to make it...

She has been dating her boyfriend for 12 years, and...

We're all in our late 20's/early 30's, so pretty much...

I have had many conversations with my sister over the...

And I suppose she took the promise ring as a...

My fiance reached out to her boyfriend because he was...

Nonetheless, my sister is showing the ring to everyone and...

I feel bad for her, I really do, but she's...

Make sure [sister] is included!" my whole life and I...

I'd rather just not have an engagement party at all...

and my parents are scolding me for being so selfish...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

KronkLaSworda "I'd rather just not have an engagement party at...

EstherandThyme " Agreed. NTA You are clearly not the favorite...

I always cringe a little when I hear of anyone...

Clearly it was a "shut up ring" and he has...

BadBandit1970 You deserve to be celebrated without having your sister...

Either don't have the engagement party, or if you do,...

That way your parents are completely excluded from the planning...

If your sister does show up and makes an a*s...

RainGirl11 NTA. I'd say call a family meeting. Have your...

Start discussing the engagement party. Then drop in a question...

This is sneaky and possibly nuclear. You could also outright...

unsolicitedPeanutG Pull out of the party,

they know very well that it isn't an engagement and...

you have to be one of the guests of honours-...

If they throw her a party alone,

people will talk and ask questions and will probably talk...

cla*s="comment_author">celticmusebooks: Be honest with your parents.

Tell them that you are afraid that it will be...

not actually engaged and at her age got a "promise...

and the second hand embarra*sment YOU will feel will spoil...

Snackinpenguin NTA. Your parents are also enabling her. Your sister...

000-Hotaru_Tomoe She is, or she isn't. If she is, she...

I'd rather just not have an engagement party at all...

Probably the best solution, because, given the situation of your...

whatsmypa*sword73 NTA, set the bar now because this is the...

get ready to plan your entire f@cking wedding with your...

then them pulling the rug out if you don't make...

t, don't involve your parents as anything more than guests,...

ExpressionMundane244 they can sit the engagement party out and see...

Your parents are a*sholes, your sister is delusional and her...

They wanna pressure your sister's bf to get married. Your...

Dont know if she really dont see it or if...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people sympathize with the original poster’s frustration. The consensus seems to be that an engagement party should celebrate a committed step toward marriage, not just a vague promise. Most commenters agree that while the parents might have good intentions of keeping the family united, combining the two celebrations feels unfair and confusing when one party isn’t actually engaged. Some suggest having separate events or at least making it clear who the party is really for to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

In my opinion, honoring the original poster’s engagement separately would be the respectful choice, especially since the sister’s situation is more ambiguous. Engagement celebrations are milestones meant to acknowledge a clear commitment, and blurring that line risks diminishing the significance of the event. While it’s important to be supportive of family members, the siblings’ very different relationship statuses deserve to be recognized in ways that reflect their realities honestly. Ultimately, clear communication and thoughtful planning can help ensure everyone feels respected and celebrated appropriately.

John Doe

John is a seasoned writer with a passion for storytelling and technology.

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