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AITA for refusing to split my college fund with my stepsister

by Alex Johnson
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 10 mins read
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Grief has rewritten the fabric of one young woman’s life, casting shadows over dreams once shared with her sister. The college fund, a symbol of hope and future, now carries the weight of loss and the complex threads of family ties stretched thin by tragedy and change.

Caught between honoring the memory of those who are gone and embracing the new family her father has built, she faces a heart-wrenching dilemma. The promise of education, meant for two sisters, now demands a sacrifice that tests loyalty, love, and the true meaning of family.

AITA for refusing to split my college fund with my stepsister

Okay, this is kinda awkward to be typing but here...

The fund was originally for me and my sister but...

My dad remarried 18 months after my mom and sister...

She's a high school senior now and talk has turned...

They have something saved but it's not enough and won't...

He said it was always intended to be for two...

I told him it was being used by someone in...

I know people will give me shit for that but...

That's not personal against my stepsister but we're not sisters...

He went to my grandparents (his parents) and they said...

He went to my maternal grandparents then,

because they were the two who originally set up the...

He's back to trying to force me to say yes.

His wife and her daughter are also telling me it's...

let alone know what she would want). AITA? Hey everyone!

This got way more attention than I was expecting and...

I don't worry that my dad will get his hands...

This has already really hurt my relationship with my dad....

I'll finish high school at my grandparents probably since that's...

It will just take some time. People have talked about...

I didn't pay much attention to this in my original...

He has handled everything in the worst possible way and...

I do think he deserves to be happy, but I...

It hurts me. But he would see me as a...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

KBTR1066 This thread is the reason I wish we could...

Because I would be astonished to learn that the average...

Almost every response is selfish and ent*tled,

and anyone who cares to question the sanct*ty of OP's...

OP,

your dad is kind of an a*shole because it's not...

your step-sister, but the way that the other responses in...

If this is all it is, this alone does not...

Based on the evidence presented, he is not trying to...

and you shouldn't be listening to all of these other...

You lost a mother and a sister, but he lost...

And as for all the people who argue that he...

Five? Why? Ten? Why. You do not get to judge...

But OP, you're not off the hook either. You're kind...

your reasoning for not wanting to share is basically "It's...

Yeah, fine, you don't OWE your step-sister anything,

but the degree to which your post and what responses...

lot of unresolved grief issues. And that's okay, just as...

But the degree to which there is a problem with...

and you use it as an excuse to be kinda...

does allow for some mantle of a*sholery to be laid...

and delve emotionally into why you feel this way, and...

or if there's some legitimate reason why you don't want...

I might personally argue that you're still being kind of...

It's just that at this point your reasoning basically seems...

Flocceenaucee I'm sorry for your loss. Your dad is TA.

He married some randomer 18 MONTHS after your mum and...

someone else. A randomer whom you are only aquainted with...

Abd is trying to hara*s manipulate and guilt you into...

The h**l with that load of bollox Edit spelling Edit...

pink_doritos NTA, then using your sister is so manipulative, do...

ThePunchlineIsFunny NTA - I would tell your grand parents what...

Your dad and step mother are trying to manipulate you...

Do not give in please, but it is downright awful...

-Edit- Wow thank you for all the upvotes, really wasn't...

I hope OP goes running to grandparents.

vtheatretech NTA let your grandparents keep control of it so...

If he wants her college funded so badly he can...

For them to try to force the bond and bring...

shimmydancer Edited for clarity: Don't sign anything that they give...

Take any paperwork to your grandparents so they can have...

SoToConclude It's not your fault that you had two parents...

who planned ahead. It sucks that she only had one...

and an undisclosed number of grandparents, and none of them...

But that doesn't make it your grandparents to fund a...

whether she was eligible for more financial support programs and...

isn't. If that's the case,

I wonder if maybe her mum didn't realise this on...

and now is freaked out that there's suddenly a ma*sive...

It's your grandparents choice at the end of the day,...

NTA, and ask your grandparents not to automatically swap the...

so there is no chance of your dad putting extra...

and they can make payments straight to your college or...

If you think he will keep up the pressure,

you are fully justified in talking to both sets of...

MrBinkz NTA. If your grandparents wanted you to share it...

Imo its a shitty move for your father and his...

Also I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your mother...

AmIBeingPunkd- NTA **Your mom and your grandparents did not contribute...

go to the stepsister your mom never knew would even...

as well as emotionally manipulating you by USING your dead...

stepsis go to college because she should not be touching...

Snwspider Definitely NTA especially since both sets of grandparents directly...

only. Like everyone else keeps saying, talk to grandparents about...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many sympathize with the original poster’s difficult position. Users acknowledge the generosity of the grandparents in keeping the fund solely for her after the tragic loss of her mom and sister. They also understand her hesitation to share the fund with her stepsister, especially since it was explicitly set up for her and her late sister. Most commenters agree that while family support is important, it shouldn’t come at the expense of disregarding the wishes of those who contributed to the fund.

In my opinion, the situation is heartbreaking on all sides. The OP has every right to protect what was meant for her and her sister, especially given the personal nature of the fund. At the same time, open communication with her dad and stepsister about financial needs and boundaries might help find a solution that respects everyone’s feelings. Ultimately, the fund was created with specific intentions, and those intentions should be honored, even as the family navigates new dynamics.

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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