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AITA for telling my daughter her “child” is not really my “grandchild”?

by Jane Smith
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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A mother’s heart is torn between hope and uncertainty as her daughter, who has bravely stepped into the world of fostering and adoption, fights to keep an 8-month-old child who has already captured their family’s love. The fragile thread of custody hangs in the balance, tangled with the bio family’s struggles and absence, while the daughter’s unwavering commitment lights a path toward a new kind of family.

In the quiet moments of planning a family photo, the true depth of belonging is challenged and redefined. The question of whether a foster child is truly part of the family stirs raw emotions, revealing the struggle between legal status and the unconditional love that binds them. This story is a poignant reminder that family is more than blood—it’s about the bonds we choose to nurture and hold close.

AITA for telling my daughter her “child” is not really my “grandchild”?

My daughter (28) has gotten into DPS and fostering, she...

She has been fostering this 8MO for a month now...

Although it appears they don't care, aren't showing up to...

I am planning our first professional family photo in decades...

I told her I didn't think to include her because...

My thought process is, she isn't really her kid and...

She went off on me and hung up and I...

Edit: I do care about this child, I'm not trying...

Final edit: I accept judgment and I commented on the...

I feel the need to say that a large majority...

I did not feel comfortable claiming this child as ours...

they are still claiming to want her back and have...

getting custody back). Maybe I should have expanded on that...

a tad bit much.

I am not a heartless monster who rejects anybody who...

lives and didn't know how to act or react. My...

so we are going to postpone to see if she...

Thanks to everyone who kindly explained to me why I...

You should try a cheesy matching shirt photo, they're goofy...

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

deadpansuzanne YTA. For sure.

Isn't a family photo supposed to be a literal snapshot...

Your thought process is not clear, and the customized matching...

ahdrielle Don't be surprised if your daughter boycotts the session.:...

It *may* be temporary but for *right now* that child...

PhoenixSheriden Not gonna give a verdict,

but legally is is likely that pictures of foster child...

Everloner I'm more concerned about the matching shirts. Ew.

naughty-lotte YTA. What's the worst case if the child does...

Having to explain to your dear cousin Cletus that, "Oh,...

and treated as her own; I loved her very much...

At least she's found a permanent, happy home. " Compare...

now ten and officially adopted, is looking at family photos....

"Why am I not in these photos?" She asks her...

lol, so I refused to have you in the picture....

engelvl ": I'm gonna go against the grind and say...

county at least it breaks a TON of rules to...

It's against a ton of privacy things and such and...

It's a rule a lot of people tend to overlook...

Along with that if the kiddo ends up reuniting with...

if they havent yet gone through it.

Displaying pictures with the kiddo in it could trigger them...

to display.

Option: get some pics with kiddo and some without that...

kid in the pictures in ten years and you can...

AnarchoNAP NTA People are ignoring what fostering is. It isn't...

It isn't adopting a child and the paperwork hasn't been...

It is a way for a child to be cared...

Your daughter isn't supposed to be looking at this child...

Maybe that won't happen and she'll end up adopting the...

whoiswillo It would be inappropriate to include her in another...

"She isn't really her kid and therefore really isn't my...

I recognize this is an eight month old,

but imagine the foster kid finds the photo when they...

consider her real family. Family isn't just who we are...

and if you're not careful you could easily lose your...

Look in your heart and ask yourself why you think...

Water-is-wet-mfers So NO one wants to look at the fact...

it's been a week-by-week process with the judge and bio...

That line right there, I understand why you said she's...

The judge is still working with her actual parents to...

I understand where you are coming from. But I also...

FloaterGoosy YTA. There's a really simple solution to this problem;...

Even if a foster child is temporary, they're still temporarily...

The point is to accept and love them as part...

It's a hard concept to wrap your head around, but...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize with the complexity of blended families, especially when fostering and adoption are involved. Most commenters seem to agree with the daughter’s perspective—that all children being raised in the family, regardless of biological ties, deserve to be included and celebrated as family. The idea of a family photo is about unity and love, not just genetics, and the foster child’s inclusion symbolizes the acceptance and support she’s receiving in her new environment.

From an outsider’s point of view, the grandmother’s hesitation is understandable given traditional views on family, but times are changing. The foster child, even if temporarily in the home, is clearly a valued member of the household and including her in the family photo could strengthen bonds and provide stability during a difficult transition. Ultimately, family is defined by love and commitment, not biology, and embracing that mindset can lead to a more inclusive and supportive environment for everyone involved.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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