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AITA for refusing to lend my friend a dress and a pair of earrings for her budget wedding and maybe body shaming her in the process?

by Alex Johnson
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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In the quiet corners of friendship, trust weaves the most delicate threads—threads that can easily unravel when assumptions blur the boundaries of understanding. An 18-year-old girl finds herself caught in a tender yet awkward moment, where a simple favor for her friend Jane, now a newlywed expecting a baby, becomes a test of empathy and the unspoken complexities of change.

What begins as a small request to borrow a dress for a modest wedding celebration soon reveals the invisible chasms shaped by life’s unexpected turns. As Jane’s mother steps in with her own opinions, the fragile balance between kindness and respect teeters, exposing the raw emotions that lie beneath the surface of a friendship trying to adapt to new realities.

AITA for refusing to lend my friend a dress and a pair of earrings for her budget wedding and maybe body shaming her in the process?

I'm using a throwaway because I don't want people finding...

She went to my sixth form and although she dropped...

Because they're going to be having a baby, they don't...

Her parents have a nice back garden that it's possible...

I didn't double-check (I probably should have) but I a*sumed...

It's not a very expensive dress, but it would work...

I pointed that we were different sizes and asked if...

I admit, I freaked out a little. Like I said,...

I've never seen her mother sew and I don't really...

I told Jane that I wasn't really comfortable with that...

Jane got a bit upset and said that I could...

So she looked at accessories instead. She chose a flower...

I said that she could have anything except one pair...

It's not just the value, I know that my mum...

They smile every time they see me in them, especially...

Jane got really p**sed and basically said that of course...

She also accused me of looking down on her for...

She's been gossiping about me to all of our friends...

Jane's mum and a couple of friends that are more...

Some of my friends are on my side but others...

They also said that I could have been more sensitive...

Edit: I've since received a message from one of my...

One of Jane's friends suggested disinviting me from the wedding...

else asked if in that case Jane would be giving...

Now it's basically been split down the middle and Jane...

I'm going to send her a message asking to talk...

She'd obviously been crying and was still extremely upset. She...

Her mum just texted to apologise and asked for a...

She also said that she'd ask Jane to talk to...

Jane and I had a phone conversation and it kind...

I said that I should have communicated more clearly from...

She then responded that she knows I probably didn't mean...

" I literally sat there for a full five seconds...

Before I could even ask what "upstaging people thing" I...

she had moved on to say that the real reason...

) I responded that obviously I would never wear a...

that I had never done anything like that before and...

She accused me of being sensitive to criticism and I...

apparently) but I've lost interest in going. One of the...

Thank you to everyone for their advice.

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

alexbernier19 Omg I'm. Amaze on how some people. Don't even...

I have a harf time borrowing 10$ from someone...

rdr24life So imagine obliging someone in giving you their jewelry...

bit fat and I would never say 2 a m8...

Suzanne_Marie are clearly not sure NTA: NTA. Modifying a dress...

Borrowing means returning the item in the same condition. As...

I wouldn't have said she specifically couldn't borrow those earrings,

I just would have put them somewhere safe and then...

But since that ship has sailed, I'd suggest telling her...

MaLlamaMama You don't owe her an explanation.: NTA but,

is a dress that you like but means nothing to...

I probably would have given it to her to start,...

It just doesn't quite sit well with me personally that...

Djhinnwe friend out.: NTA. Jane is being unreasonable. Both your...

What she heard is not what you said. There are...

And there are a lot of places she can get...

I would talk to her about the dress again and...

xXPhantomFreakXx NTA FlipsyFloopy: This reminds me of the sister that

asked to BORROW a dress, then proceeded to get married...

NTA, you don't owe her anything of yours, especially not...

De5perad0 NTA Borrowing something does not mean returning it in...

condition than it was in originally. Anything else is not...

I can't stand people that think they are ent*tled to...

That's a warped view of friendship and extremely toxic.

fhricss NTA she's basically expecting to be given free things...

like seriously? and why doesn't the girl who suggested disinviting...

she seems to be more of her friend than you...

if you won't be able to use it after the...

sparrowhawk75 she sounds like a mommy's kid that's used to...

Jane sounds selfish and overbearing. If you really want to...

After reading the original post and the comments, it’s clear that the situation struck a chord with many readers. Most commenters sympathized with the original poster’s hesitation and concerns about lending a dress that might not fit properly, especially since Jane’s mother had a strong influence on the wedding plans. People also noted the importance of setting boundaries when it comes to personal belongings, even for close friends, and the need for clear communication to avoid misunderstandings.

In my opinion, while Jane’s desire for a meaningful wedding without overspending is understandable, borrowing a dress without making sure it fits first was a bit presumptuous. The original poster handled the situation reasonably by trying to clarify and offer alternatives. Ultimately, friendships thrive on honesty and respect, and it’s okay to say no when something doesn’t feel right. Hopefully, they can find a way to celebrate that respects everyone’s needs and boundaries.

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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