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AITAH for denying my future in-laws only request for the wedding -therefore ruining our whole relationship…

by Jane Smith
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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A young couple, soon to be married, carefully crafted a vision for their wedding day that included every detail, from the bridal party to the precious children who would walk down the aisle. Their plan was more than tradition—it was a symbol of blending families and cherishing meaningful relationships amid complex realities.

Yet beneath the surface of this joyful preparation lay the delicate challenge of honoring bonds that were not always straightforward. The groom’s heartfelt desire to include his best friend’s young son—a child caught in difficult custody circumstances—added an emotional layer to the celebration, testing the couple’s resolve to create a day that truly reflected love and inclusion.

AITAH for denying my future in-laws only request for the wedding -therefore ruining our whole relationship…

I need some advice on this situation from an unbiased...

We got engaged in April and I pretty much did...

From the very beginning my fiancé and I had a...

Including flower girls and ring bearers.

We decided that the flower girl would be my sister...

junior bridesmaid. For the ring bearers my fiancé really wanted...

For context his friend has not had custody of his...

(He will be around a year and a half at...

ring bearers as well. This way it's no pressure on...

The older boys will help the younger boy walk down...

Shortly after the engagement, I asked my sister and my...

The kids and parents both were so excited.

This was great and everything was going according to plan...

For context, my fiancé's brother/ best man (24 male) lives...

This girlfriend has a child from a previous relationship (female...

He has taken a sort of father role in her...

My fiancé and I have never met this girlfriend or...

Now this is where things get a little messy. I...

They welcome new comers with open arms (including me) and...

She is the sweetest lady and would do anything for...

She was always the first to say that it's OUR...

She has become like a mother to me in so...

Which is great. I'm so glad that they are so...

With this context in mind, a couple weeks ago when...

she asked me if I would consider adding the girlfriend's...

I politely told her that we already had a flower...

She will probably be able to walk by herself down...

Later on I told my fiancé about it and we...

We already had the role filled and it would be...

If she needed help walking it wouldn't be easy for...

We have never met her and she might not be...

They aren't married and worst case scenario if they break...

I know that sounds harsh but I come from a...

I am not following this rule and everyone's significant other...

We agreed to keep the bridal party the way it...

He talked to his brother and essentially told him it...

We were at Mother In Law's house again but this...

Once again MIL brings up the flower girl thing and...

But then my MIL tells my fiancé how much it...

Meanwhile I'm still against it. And I start to say...

My MIL points out that all of the children in...

(Meanwhile this is because there are no children on his...

At this point she's convinced my fiancé and I'm an...

She wasn't being rude or anything but every reason I...

She's saying things like "they will get married one day...

And she is like "sooo that sounds like a no"...

The whole time I felt like I looked like a...

My fiancé since apologized to me for being open to...

From what he believed about his mother he figured that...

Later that night he called his brother and told him...

I felt really bad and guilty for making my fiancé...

A lot has happened in the last few days.

I was worried immediately after that conversation that his mother...

My fiancé said that he knows his mother well and...

The first words out of his mouth are "after our...

just as I thought would happen.... And he goes on...

My fiancé told him that we would still talk about...

That whole day we discussed it. I felt like an...

But the conclusion we came to was that it's NOT...

He was upset but at least it was over... or...

It's our wedding please Get over it" and then My...

My fiancé did a great job of sticking up for...

That one hurt. And that my fiancé's relationship with his...

We ended up talking to my fiancé's sister and found...

They said that this won't be resolved UNTIL WE GIVE...

We are definitely not going to give in. At this...

It just really hurts because we had such a great...

(TL;DR) My fiancé's brother (and mother) are trying to manipulate...

Brother in law is not the biological father of this...

We have said no repeatedly and they are personally offended...

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

HRHValkyrie NTA - You don't know the kid of the...

It seems so weird that this is a hill they...

and yet instead of introducing you to this woman and...

I feel like there has to be SOMETHING weird that...

Maybe she's already pregnant with his kid? Something is not...

Turbulent_Break_1862 Bil wants to propose art the wedding. 100%.

gnixfim NTA FMIL is literally saying "This is YOUR (OP...

don't let anyone browbeat you into choices you don't want......

dramamama22 NTA. Inviting her and the child to the wedding...

MIL and BIL have way overstepped. Being extra nice maybe...

You don't know them. Honestly I'd elope to avoid it...

boundaries4546 All for a girlfriend of 8 months I'm sorry,...

It is wild to ask someone to have a child...

I agree your relationship with his mom will forever be...

Quiet-Hamster6509 Updateme: NTA I would look at telling my fiance...

and about his brother than the two of you, and...

This level of interference would make me question what else...

Surely you have to do what she wants in order...

I would really emphasise not being sure about having a...

Suggest some couple's counselling to work through and also for...

She has done nothing but interfere and meddle for the...

Honestly, if I knew how it would go back when...

different-take4u NTA, simple solution is to elope and tell none...

You will not have played favorites that way and you...

Things were fine until MIL didn't get what she wanted...

Time to make note of all who jump to do...

Fun_A*sociation_1456 "His mom went as far as to say that...

be affected by this decision." Why is she not worried...

The decision here is one SHE made which is to...

It will impact our relationship for me to know that...

and try to divide my joint decisions with my new...

That does indeed impact our relationship and I hope you...

nor one I want to continue having.

But if you keep deciding that my answers are not...

" Does she intend to hold "your relationship" hostage every...

And this will not be the most significant thing you...

"We won't be in a relationship with you until you...

they're only accepting of you until you disagree and then...

I'm all about reconciliation and discussion but they're actively rejecting...

I would make it really clear right now that you...

expectation. What a b*mmer!

otter_48 This kind of stuff is why I think people...

cla*s="comment_author">GroovyYaYa: Your fiance needs to do two things. One...

he needs to tell brother that he had a weak...

That while he is sure that IF the brother gets...

you both will welcome new niece with enthusiasm and open...

However, you haven't even met her yet and this isn't...

he needs to call his mother and tell her to...

not supporting you both on YOUR wedding vs a child...

and now gossiping so that his bride is being trashed...

That she should have stayed out of nit and if...

he will be telling everyone what a mess she and...

wedding.

Having read through the Reddit comments on this situation, it seems many users empathize with the bride’s desire to honor family and close relationships in her wedding party, while also recognizing the fiancé’s wish to include his best friend’s son as a meaningful gesture. The challenge of coordinating the presence of a very young child with a complicated custody arrangement understandably adds stress to the planning process. Commenters generally suggest open communication and flexibility, highlighting that weddings are ultimately about celebrating the couple’s love and commitment rather than adhering strictly to initial plans.

In my opinion, the couple would benefit from focusing on what truly matters: their shared future and mutual respect. While including children in the ceremony can be special, it’s important to balance those desires with practical considerations and the feelings of everyone involved. By working together and perhaps adjusting expectations, they can create a memorable and joyful event that honors both families, without allowing the logistics to overshadow the significance of their union.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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