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AITA for not giving my sister’s stepchildren money for college?

by Michael Lee
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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A man blessed with financial security chooses to invest in his son’s future and extend a helping hand to friends in need, embodying generosity rooted in compassion. Yet, this act of kindness becomes the spark that ignites a painful rift within his family, exposing the fragile lines between love, loyalty, and expectation.

Within a family fractured by unspoken resentments and divided alliances, a Sunday dinner becomes a battleground for unaddressed grievances and silent exclusions. The absence of the stepchildren, a symbol of deeper emotional wounds, casts a shadow over the gathering, revealing how financial struggles can unravel the bonds meant to hold a family together.

AITA for not giving my sister’s stepchildren money for college?

I (44m) have been very fortunate in my life and...

pay for their daughter to go to college after some...

My sister and BIL have been married for 6 years...

My sister and BIL are not as financially secure as...

They brought this topic up during a Sunday dinner with...

And for those who'll ask why my sister's stepchildren were...

it's because they have never liked or accepted my sister...

Even before they reached this stage, they fought my BIL...

All throughout dinner my sister and BIL brought up college,...

how they were sad they could not afford the best...

When dinner ended and we were all leaving they approached...

and my son chose to go into a trade instead...

They said the stepchildren are family while the girl I...

I said she was not family in the traditional sense...

While my sister's stepchildren did not consider me as any...

My sister and BIL told me I'm the person who...

and selfish person I am. AITA?

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

vladigal2 NTA. They made it clear they do not want...

dropdrill NTA. They called you greedy? The kids don't like...

chuckinhoutex NTA- and here is your response ... Sis and...

You are welcome to ASK for a favor, but the...

That you have moved directly past asking into making insults...

Your ent*tlement is disgusting. But to reiterate. Whether I am...

Simply a*suming is further evidence of your ridiculous ent*tlement to...

Secondly, the children have made perfectly clear who is and...

I have no relationship with them, I do not even...

Do not even think to compare this with a long...

reciprocated affection. I am always willing to help those who...

Being unwilling to provide support to those who would bite...

You should be ashamed of your ent*tlement, and do not...

forgeris We are no longer in contact.: I love families....

How dare you spending it on people that we do...

NTA, tell them that you don't give a c**p about...

Gohighsweetcherry Hahaha laughable, an ent*tled and unbelievable request.

Just brush it off like the nonsense it is.

Firm-Mola*ses-4913 NTA: NTA The insults coming on the heel of...

cla*s="comment_author">SoImaRedditUserNow: well... NTA off the bat.

I pretty much agree on the outcome, tho perhaps not...

right out of the gate you're not obligated to pay...

it's one of those things that's extremely generous, but not...

well h**l I'm due a heckuva lot of money from...

while I don't know your precise financial situation, your sister...

maybe you could afford to pay for the step kids...

seems reasonable to me to say "hey folks... this well...

that they feel ent*tled to some money is kinda gross....

at least not without knowing the circumstances of their lives,

I can understand kids not wanting to be shoehorned into...

dunno why their parents broke up, dunno how your sister...

To be sure, these kids could be big dumb jerks,...

further nothing youve said makes me think these kids are...

LouisV25 NTA: NTA. 1) You are only morally responsible for...

adopt, or stepparent (to a certain extent). 2) Anything outside...

3) They can't use the "family" card to manipulate you,

when the children don't accept you as family (which is...

Interesting_You_2315 It doesn't matter how much money you have.: NTA....

The kids made no effort to be part of your...

295Phoenix NTA You helping a friend's daughter doesn't ent*tle every...

and harry in your family tree to the same help....

The fact your friends' daughter regards you as an uncle...

top.

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people sympathize with the original poster’s generosity and his right to support his son and friends as he sees fit. Most commenters agree that while family support is important, there is no obligation to equally fund everyone’s education, especially when financial circumstances vary. Some users felt the sister and BIL’s frustration was understandable but emphasized that resentment over perceived unequal treatment should not overshadow the poster’s kindness and good intentions.

In my opinion, this situation highlights the complexities of blended families and financial boundaries. While it’s natural for the sister and BIL to wish for more resources for their children, the original poster is not responsible for solving all family financial challenges. Open communication and mutual understanding are key, but ultimately, generosity should not come with expectations or guilt. It’s commendable that the poster is helping his son and friends, and that decision should be respected even if it causes temporary family tension.

Michael Lee

Michael is a tech enthusiast sharing insights on software development and gadgets.

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