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AITA for refusing to allow my twin to be a bridesmaid at my wedding

by Jane Smith
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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Two sisters born at the same moment, yet worlds apart in the eyes of the world and their own hearts. Once inseparable, their bond shattered by the silent betrayals of high school — one sister basking in the glow of popularity, the other left to wither in the shadows of loneliness and exclusion. The girl who was supposed to be her closest ally became the bystander to her pain, a ghost of sisterhood that haunted every hallway and every party she chose to avoid.

As the wedding day approaches, the weight of those fractured years presses heavily on the bride-to-be’s soul. The distance between them, both physical and emotional, is a chasm carved by unspoken wounds and broken trust. What was once a shared childhood now feels like a lifetime of missed chances and silent goodbyes, leaving her to wonder if the sister she lost can ever be found again.

AITA for refusing to allow my twin to be a bridesmaid at my wedding

I (25f) have a fraternal twin sister and am getting...

She was an outgoing bubbly cheerleader and I was a...

She didn't actively pick on me but she'd stand by...

She would talk to and hang out with me at...

When we turned sixteen she had a big bash but...

our parents were making her include me but she discreetly...

I took the money bc I really didn't want to...

We went to separate colleges across the country from each...

I would be polite to her at home during school...

my parents thought it'd be a good "compromise" to have...

My "big" from my sorority will be my MOH and...

I reluctantly said she could be a guest at the...

worth). I told them "but what would other people think...

she just thinks bc it was so long ago I...

But I had to be in therapy for years because...

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

NoContribution9322 NTA , it's your wedding so you decide what...

also your parents and sister need to realize actions have...

Admirable_Moose_9927 >I told them "but what would other people think...

" She cried (she never apologized,

she just thinks bc it was so long ago I...

This is something I have had to deal with a...

It's so funny how targets of bullying are expected to...

Yes, you were young and ignorant, but that alone does...

Don't ruin your day because someone else lacks the ability...

Neither-Parfait7795 Nta,

honestly if you are in therapy be strict with your...

Is it really worth it to have someone like that...

Voidg Imo just use your shiny spine and offer her...

She is attending as a guest. That's all, end of...

The fact she is crying and trying to manipulate the...

strong relationship with you... does not give her a trump...

Mr_Ham_Man80 NTA. There isn't exactly a good relationship with you,

so not sure why she'd expect you to be a...

Not a nice situation for you to be put in...

When/if you both try and repair what happened in the...

RichSignal7022 if ever.: NTA She's lucky you don't offer her...

DinaFelice >(she never apologized,

she just thinks bc it was so long ago I...

"I agree that you were young and immature. And you...

you would be sorry about the pain they caused me...

Goodness knows there are things from my own past that...

If I thought any of my prior actions were still...

That's fine-you are an adult and can make your own...

And if we don't share basic values, why would you...

How do you think you can be supportive to me...

Regardless, I'm done having this conversation: you are not close...

Anyone who is surprised by this, doesn't know us well...

Llkjh2501 The people standing next to you on your special...

She mistreated you for her own popularity, and it sounded...

ParsimoniousSalad Your family should be happy you are even letting...

It's YOUR wedding, you don't need to explain your decisions...

Kettlewise NTA ultimately your wedding party is about including people...

and you just don't have that relationship with your sister....

I ignored her because i was very traumatized at losing...

Based on what you described, she was never your best...

and it sounds like you had some unfair expectations here...

You mention your parents would force her to include you....

and have her own friends/interests (some of which were just...

) > But I had to be in therapy for...

She didn't pick on you. She didn't a**se you. She...

so when she had a party with her friends and...

Kids are not required to have the same friends. Kids...

Paying you off was shitty, but your parents didn't leave...

So it's it really her, or is it unfair expectations...

> why should I have someone as a bridesmaid who...

You don't have a relationship with her,

and not wanting to be friends with someone - even...

The reality is you've never moved beyond the strained relationship...

where you were both immature and your parents didn't help...

) Whether or not you want to try to build...

it's still reasonable to want your wedding party to be...

And if you don't want a relationship with your sister,...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear many sympathize deeply with the narrator’s feelings of abandonment and pain caused by her sister’s actions. Some commenters pointed out the complexity of sibling relationships, especially between twins who grow apart due to differing social circles and personalities. Others emphasized the importance of communication and suggested that healing might be possible if both sisters can confront their past honestly and work toward rebuilding trust.

From an outsider’s perspective, this story highlights how formative teenage experiences and social pressures can strain even the closest bonds. While the narrator’s trauma is understandably profound, there seems to be room for reconciliation if both sisters acknowledge the hurt and make an effort to reconnect. Ultimately, the story serves as a poignant reminder of how vital empathy and understanding are within families, especially when navigating the turbulent years of adolescence.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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