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AITA for telling my girlfriend it’s weird that she wants to name our son after her dead ex boyfriend

by Charlie Brown
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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In the fragile space where love and loss intertwine, a man finds himself grappling with a profound emotional storm. His girlfriend, carrying their unborn child, wishes to honor her late ex-boyfriend by naming their son after him—a painful reminder of a past he never asked to share but must now confront.

Caught between respect for her grief and the desire to build a future unshadowed by the past, he stands firm, feeling the weight of his own identity and love challenged. Their unborn son’s name becomes a battleground, echoing the complexities of blended families and the haunting presence of memories that refuse to fade.

AITA for telling my girlfriend it’s weird that she wants to name our son after her dead ex boyfriend

My (31M) girlfriend's (30F) ex boyfriend pa*sed away 7 years...

As for us, we began dating 3 years ago and...

We're both really excited but there is tension between us...

So she then asked if it could be his middle...

I told her it's extremely weird because our kid has...

She got all shitty with me and said I was...

the real father of her son." I don't think it...

I genuinely think it was out of line for her...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

winesis NTA tell her you can help with the paperwork...

Nav_91 but you will not be naming your son after...

but I do suggest to find a compromis if it...

Perhaps she can find a name that honors him, without...

However, YTA for calling him 'a dead guy she used...

That was uncalled for... Edit: Idk if it's possible where...

RivenEsquire Would make more sense if his actual son carried...

1 no" situation. OP, you are not the AH for...

They were together when he pa*sed, and probably would have...

"Ex" implies a voluntary end to the relationship, and that's...

If they were married, he'd be her *late* or *deceased*...

You became the AH with the way you belittled and...

emotional.

Her making a nasty comment back to you seems pretty...

interaction-i.e. "blah blah blah."). He wasn't just "some guy she...

" He was her partner and they loved each other,...

That's a grief that lasts, whether you want to address...

Maybe using her deceased boyfriend's initials for First and Middle...

actually using his name.

YTA for framing this like this guy was just an...

you presumably raise together,

and for being the one to escalate the situation completely...

TwinPeaks2017 thinking.: A friend of mine died when he was...

I am still in touch with the woman who was...

It has been 18 years since he died. Your girlfriend...

I think you are lacking in some compa*sion because you...

It's a reactive but understandable reaction. I don't think either...

but I wanted to comment on the aspect of compa*sion...

MaximusLuna ~~I'd say this is in NAH territory.~~ She wanted...

She offered a compromise of a middle name, you still...

On that note, a child can have more than one...

You then called her son's father 'a dead guy that...

But then you accuse her, when she uses your exact...

Sammyweedz So for the name no. But for the rest?...

The truth told with bad intent does more harm than...

You were mean and dismissive. It'd have been much more...

You gave away the moral high ground with your aggressive...

Not only that but if y'all would've thought as parents...

you'd realize it'd be weird af for someone to have...

Beck2010 Umm... she already had a son with the boyfriend...

I don't think you were very kind to her, but...

I wouldn't want a child of mine to be named...

og_kitten_mittens Since you're the parent too you deserve a say...

but you're being a d**k by not being understanding with...

She's having the kid with *you* and she probably has...

I don't think you're an a*shole in this situation bc...

but you are definitely being callous. Also the way you...

sickofdriving007 but not in this situation NAH: NTA.

I can't believe she threw that 'real father' statement in...

Alienne8r She should've named HIS child after him, not yours.:...

I'd never ever consider using his name for a child...

It's like she's living the life she wanted with him...

But he's a part of another life for me. One...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize with the original poster’s discomfort around naming their child after an ex, especially one who has passed away. While some understand the girlfriend’s emotional connection to the name due to her history and shared child with her late ex, most agree that the name of a new baby should primarily reflect the wishes and feelings of both current parents. Balancing respect for the past with the needs and identity of the new family unit is key, and many commenters advise open and honest communication to find a compromise that honors everyone involved.

In my opinion, while it’s important to acknowledge the significance of the late ex in the girlfriend’s life, imposing his name on a child of a new relationship can create unnecessary tension and hurt feelings. Naming a child is a deeply personal decision that should unite, not divide, parents. Perhaps choosing a name that holds new meaning for their growing family or using the ex’s name in a private way—like a middle name for the older son or a special tribute—could be a thoughtful middle ground. Ultimately, the couple will need to navigate this sensitive topic with empathy and mutual respect to strengthen their relationship and build a happy future together.

Charlie Brown

Charlie is a creative mind who enjoys writing about art, music, and culture.

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