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AITAH for not forcing my fiancée to wear my father’s late wife wedding dress?

by Charlie Brown
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 11 mins read
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For over thirty years, a silent love has lingered in the shadows of a broken family, where a father’s heart remains forever bound to the memory of his first wife, Mia. His second wife, the narrator’s mother, lives in the quiet acceptance of a role that is both tender and painful—her love a second place in a story that never truly moved beyond the first chapter.

In this home, love is a complicated tapestry woven with longing and loss: wedding rings worn as relics, birthday cakes baked for a woman long gone, and photos that refuse to be replaced. What might seem like devotion is a haunting reminder of a childhood shaped by absence and divided affections, where the lines between love and grief blur into a bittersweet normalcy.

AITAH for not forcing my fiancée to wear my father’s late wife wedding dress?

My father lost his first wife (I'm going to call...

It is a very long and complicated situation but to...

My dad still wears his wedding ring with Mia in...

there are many photos of Mia in the house, there...

As crazy as it may seem, this kind of thing...

making a cake every Mia's birthday was the idea of...

Even if it wasn't like that. It was not a...

My mother always says that he gives her the space...

my silbings and I don't see it that way because...

Now, coming to the problem; I'm going to marry my...

her mother never had a wedding ceremony so she doesn't...

dress. My mom has mentioned that in the past and...

Anyway, I talked to my mom about lending her dress...

My mother had spoken several times about wanting to have...

That conversation was closed. Now, almost a month after we...

My fiancée told her no, she feels a connection with...

After that my mother has been asking me to try...

but I told him I won't do that, so my...

I never meet her, I don't know who she was....

My fiancée wants my mother's dress, she wants to give...

I told my mother that I don't intend to do...

it even seems gloomy and weird to me but I...

Being raised in this kind of way sometimes makes me...

but I don't know what someone who was raised normally...

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

Good_Ad6336 NTA. But a word of advice,

if you want your wedding to be what you want...

Asking to wear your mother's dress is a lovely idea...

From what you wrote it sounds like it's your mother...

Are you 100% sure your mother is comfortable sharing her...

with how you described your dad's behavior regarding Mia, are...

Personally if you don't want to incorporate Mia in your...

But I would encourage your partner to find her own...

A simple message like "mom/dad, we appreciate your initial offer...

We felt incredibly grateful wanted something special to share between...

Unfortunately we have decided to do our own thing as...

The significance of using mom's dress was to highlight the...

But the recommendation of using someone else's wedding dress, that...

makes us feel that you don't share the excitement in...

We are just excited for our day and want it...

Anxious_Ad2683 Nta. But, your mother is in an abusive relationship....

BENSLAYER He might big be physical but he's destroyed her...

your family dynamic is unhealthy. OP, the only reason that...

Mia" in the background of your lives has become normalized....

Your father has spent his life disrespecting your mother and...

OP, he wants Mia to be part of your wedding...

If you allow Mia to take a place in your...

it would reinforce to your mother that she is second-place...

is that the message that *you* want to convey to...

*OP, your father wants to pretend that you are Mia's...

Honestly, OP, your father has never grieved properly and is...

You and your siblings should never have been raised with...

*are you going to carry her into your new family?...

* Where does it end, will your father want Mia...

Will he say that you need to respect her by...

Put a stop to this *now*, ***your family lacks necessary...

Sorry OP, your father is stuck in the past but...

Stand up for yourself, your mother, your fiancée and frankly,...

You can be kind but you need to be firm;...

that she is the one that you want to honour*.

That Mia is an unwanted presence that should not have...

Have you or your siblings ever stated that outright to...

Perhaps include her in wedding preparations? Have your mother go...

Make her first, above both Mia and your father; only...

Then do *not* have her speak with your father, instead...

It is fairly clear that your mother has become accustomed...

even if that means she tells your father and ends...

do not allow him to coerce her into saying that...

*Mia is a stranger to you and your father needs...

I do not know if familial piety is something at...

point out how disrespectful he is to your mother and...

Mia is his deceased wife but she has no place...

Point out that like him, you are making vows to...

*your father needs to respect that or else it shows...

Good luck OP, this is going to require remaining firm...

AllInkalicious NTA But your father is a controlling, unreasonable (slightly...

You've had to endure this utter nonsense your entire life,...

The beginning of a new chapter in both of your...

dudleymunta I feel so desperately sorry for your mother.

She has obviously found a way of rationalising / accepting...

Your father has created a dysfunctional family situation. You do...

firefly232 >My dad still wears his wedding ring with Mia...

my mom leaves my dad alone when it's his anniversary...

there are even photos of her in their room because...

>My father wanted me to put up the typical decoration...

my mother now wants my fiancée to wear Mia's dress...

want to say, this is completely not normal. The wedding...

But the birthday, the photos everywhere, the photos in the...

Encouraging your fiancee to wear Mia's wedding dress rather than...

Your fiancee is marrying you, and wanted to wear your...

Not the wedding dress of your father's late first wife,...

If Mia was still alive, you would not exist. Your...

diminishingpatience Does your dad every treat her with love, respect,...

You never met her and your fiancée never met her....

sooner1125 Is your dad pushing the issue or is this...

JHSMesq The answer to this and every post of its...

you are NTA for declining to make your wedding about...

If your parents would like to conduct some sort of...

13surgeries Tell your parents if they want to include the...

they can renew their vows, and your mom can wear...

She's so invested in this Mia fairy tale that I'm...

If it makes things easier, your parents could arrange to...

No extending the Cult of Mia into your wedding. If...

After reading through the Reddit comments on this story, it’s clear that many people empathize with the complexity of this family dynamic. Some commenters admire the mother’s patience and selflessness, while others express concern over the emotional toll it may have taken on the child. The consensus seems to be that such situations, while rooted in love and respect, can create confusion and feelings of neglect, especially for children growing up in these circumstances.

In my opinion, this story highlights the delicate balance between honoring past relationships and nurturing present ones. While the father’s enduring love for Mia is touching, it’s also important to consider how it impacts the family’s emotional health. The mother’s supportive role is commendable, but the child’s experience suggests that more open communication and perhaps professional guidance might have helped create a healthier environment for everyone involved.

Charlie Brown

Charlie is a creative mind who enjoys writing about art, music, and culture.

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