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AITAH for seeking a modification of my child support payment after I found out my ex wife took a new job with a 35% higher pay from her previous one.

by Emily Davis
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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Divorce may have ended their marriage, but the ties of responsibility and care for their children remain unbroken. As the father grapples with the delicate balance between fairness and resentment, he faces the harsh reality of financial strain contrasting with his ex-spouse’s newfound success. The revelation of her higher-paying job stirs a complex mix of emotions—pride, frustration, and the gnawing question of what justice truly means in their shared journey as parents.

Caught between the desire to support his children and the fear of appearing punitive, he stands at a crossroads, uncertain whether to pursue a legal modification of child support. This struggle is not born from bitterness but from the raw challenges life has presented him, underscoring a poignant truth: sometimes, the hardest battles are fought not against others, but within ourselves.

AITAH for seeking a modification of my child support payment after I found out my ex wife took a new job with a 35% higher pay from her previous one.

So my ex and I have been divorced for three...

I am still on good terms with her family, and...

Her brother told me she informed him about the job...

He is the one who told me her pay was...

I spoke with my attorney and he said it is...

I will have to prove it but that will not...

I am on the fence cause I can see how...

a different topic. Update: I apologize for being vague I...

This is based off my income before any deductions. My...

my job due also has a child care voucher so...

For things like clothing and other miscellaneous expenses that pop...

My career field is largely salary and my hours largely...

I have been offered leadership roles in different states but...

I would love to see my kids more but my...

I have no reason to think her brother is lying...

Yes, I am aware of what she made since both...

We were also informed that we should inform the courts...

As others have mentioned she has had this job for...

My attorney told me with an income change of that...

My attorney mentioned she can be responsible to pay back...

Anyways I am tried just got home have fun everyone,...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

Business-Garbage-370 I would ask your attorney to do a mock...

to see if it even makes a difference in the...

Blackbear8336 My dad tried doing this when he "was too...

basically said f**k you. Not saying you're ta, but divorce...

AccomplishedPast9054 You leaving out way too much information.

Ume-no-Uzume INFO: What is the custody situation like?

You mention that you only see the kids during the...

Because if not, you kind of don't have a leg...

child support is because the parent who is the primary...

24/7. That includes buying clothes while the kid(s) grow(s) like...

feeding them, paying for their transport, tuition, tutoring, and any...

All of that eats into the primary parent's funds.

The parent who doesn't have the kids during the week...

As it is,

the parent who has the kids the majority of the...

Now, if you were the parent who was living with...

then you would 100% be within your rights legally and...

then become the primary caretaker and have them live with...

HolyCannoliBatmaam The entire premise of this question is so depressing.

Why are you even considering trying to lower your child...

She sounds like a great mom and you sound like...

SnooApples7213 raised by those kind of parents so yes I...

don't think you're necessarily an AH for wanting to rea*sess...

especially if you're struggling and really do believe it to...

she *should* have reported her income increase if she didn't....

you should definitely consider the possible outcomes and weather it's...

- With cost of living rising,

and with you only having the kids on weekends you...

been since the current amount was set.

It's pretty likely their mum is already paying for more...

Additionally, if her work hours have gone up that likely...

- You could negatively impact your relationship with both her...

especially being that you're using the information the brother gave...

Are you on decent terms with your ex?

Can you speak to her directly about this in a...

Maybe you can soften the request by offering some additional...

taking care of the kids occasionally if you can.

I understand if you can't do 50/50 custody but maybe...

I would prioritise maintaining an amicable/respectful relationship if possible, as...

Momager321 INFO Are you covering half of the kids fixed...

You mentioned you only have kids on the weekends. Why...

ManchesterLady It's not bad practice to review every couple of...

However, if you are comfortable with the amount, you should...

I read the reason why you don't do 50/50, and...

Make sure your finances for medical expenses are tight, because...

fzooey78 Why are you only a weekend dad when you...

Southern-Midnight741 I want to know why her brother is telling...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people understand the difficult position the original poster is in. Support payments are designed to reflect the financial realities of both parents, and a significant increase in the ex-spouse’s income can reasonably prompt a reassessment. However, commenters also emphasize the importance of approaching this situation with sensitivity, recognizing that the ex-spouse’s career advancement isn’t a punishment but a natural progression. Several suggest open communication before legal action, to avoid unnecessary conflict that could affect co-parenting dynamics.

In my opinion, while it’s entirely fair to seek an adjustment if financial circumstances have changed dramatically, the key is to prioritize the children’s best interests and maintain respectful relationships. Legal modifications can be stressful and time-consuming, so exploring a mutual understanding first might be the best path forward. Ultimately, it’s about balancing fairness with empathy, ensuring that both parents contribute appropriately without fostering resentment.

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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