The original poster (OP) has been in a relationship for 18 months with his girlfriend, Lita. The core conflict stems from OP’s financial and material support for Lita’s two adult children, a 25-year-old son and a 28-year-old daughter. Both adult children are unemployed and rely on government assistance and financial contributions from OP, totaling about $1,000 per month.
The situation is aggravated by the daughter’s frequent stays with her own two young children in OP’s fifth wheel trailer. This has resulted in significant damage and uncleanliness, leading to an estimated $30,000 loss in the trailer’s value. OP’s attempts to get Lita to address this cleaning issue have failed. OP is now questioning his anger about constantly supporting two grown adults while trying to enjoy his life with Lita.
I (44m) hate my gf (47f) kids
According to Dr. Avery Bailey, a specialist in relational boundaries, ‘Financial entanglement, especially when resources are shared without mutual agreement on long-term goals, is one of the most corrosive forces in adult partnerships.’ This situation highlights a severe mismatch in financial philosophy and boundary setting between OP and Lita.
OP’s primary issue involves the lack of established boundaries regarding shared financial responsibility and the use of personal property. Supporting adult children is a common point of strain, but when that support includes covering the costs of their basic needs indefinitely, it shifts from generosity to dependency, which OP rightly resents. Furthermore, the damage to the fifth wheel shows a failure to enforce boundaries related to property use, suggesting Lita prioritizes her children’s immediate comfort over respecting OP’s assets.
OP’s feelings of anger are valid given the material sacrifice ($1k/month plus $30k in trailer damage). A professional path forward would require OP and Lita to separate their finances immediately and establish a firm, non-negotiable timeline (perhaps 30 days) for the daughter to cease using the fifth wheel until it is restored to its previous condition and cleanliness standards are met. If Lita cannot enforce these essential boundaries, the incompatibility of their long-term relationship goals becomes clear.
THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.
OP is clearly in a difficult position, feeling frustrated because his desire for financial independence and a peaceful life clashes directly with his girlfriend’s commitment to supporting her adult children without accountability. The ongoing financial strain and the physical damage to his property are causing significant stress in the 18-month relationship.
The central debate is whether OP is wrong to demand an end to supporting two capable, yet dependent, adults when it severely impacts his resources and living situation. Readers must weigh OP’s right to protect his assets and finances against Lita’s desire to provide unconditional support for her children.
