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AITA for telling my wife that she needs to get over me missing the birth of our daughter

by Emily Davis
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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He was caught between duty and destiny, trapped in the unforgiving grip of a job that demanded his full attention in the loneliest of places, miles away from the moment that would change his life forever. When his wife went into labor prematurely, he was powerless, only learning of her pain and the birth of their child once he was finally within reach of a signal — a moment that should have been joyous, but instead became a silent wound he carried every day.

Now, 18 months later, that missed moment haunts their every disagreement, a shadow that darkens even the smallest of quarrels. No matter the issue — from the serious to the trivial — the pain of absence is wielded like a weapon, and today, faced with a new conflict over their child’s daycare, he reaches his breaking point, struggling to reconcile his past absence with his present devotion.

AITA for telling my wife that she needs to get over me missing the birth of our daughter

I work in a job where they are certain times...

These times are well scheduled in advance and basically take...

My wife was pregnant and at the time I planned...

I only learned about her going into labor when I...

The issue is every single time we have an argument...

Today was my breaking point, we got into an argument...

I do drop off and she does pick up. The...

In the middle of the argument she pulled out I...

She called me a jerk and left. AITA

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

Nowordsofitsown You should discuss this in depth.

I get the impression from your post that you believe...

But she probably brings it up all the time because...

But: It was really,

really bad luck how things went down: * a month...

having given birth within what? 8 hours maximum? The average...

(If you ever have a second baby, be prepared for...

) Unless there is something you are not telling us?...

C_Majuscula Because if there was, that would be a very...

This is the definition of both "not fighting fair" and...

" You didn't miss the birth due to negligence or...

Work is what (I a*sume) provides income and other necessities....

I recommend counseling to hopefully work past this because her...

issue. Does she not want you working that job? Is...

pickensgirl She has weaponized her offense. She fully understands how...

Now she's playing on those emotions. Hoping to use them...

This is no longer about you missing the birth but...

In a calm moment you need to approach her and...

That every time she brings that up in the future...

Then you need to stick to this plan. Don't yell....

She needs to understand that this gets her nowhere with...

weapon to bludgeon you into compliance to her wants and...

Individually or couple's therapy could be very helpful in navigating...

Feelinggross99 INFO: Did she have anyone with her during the...

Did baby have to stay in hospital after birth for...

In a way I still am, but I've talked about...

It's scary and I'd hazard a guess a little traumatic...

BUT if she's still hurting from it, don't expect it...

ShutUpMorrisseyffs Edit: words: Have you thought about couples therapy? She...

I think you need a professional to sort this out.

GimmeUrNachos It sounds like you need to get to the...

Of course she is upset you missed it, but even...

There's something else going on and perhaps some couples counseling...

Or a real sit own conversation and talk it out...

cascadia1979 It's either an effort to hurt and gaslight you...

You had made plans to be there but due to...

While it's understandable for her to have wished you could...

that there was nothing you could have done. And more...

she really should not be constantly bringing this up anytime...

Marriage counseling might help but ultimately this is entirely on...

Or if she can't accept it then she should divorce...

kurtzapril4 It's on the kid for coming out a month...

SkykingThrGreat NTA but I wouldn't have brought it up at...

I would wait till after things cooled down and talk...

no control over it. If she keeps trying to use...

Edit for clarity: Because apparently some people think I'm gleefully...

My comment was before the OP clarified that he had...

I speak from experience when I say to wait after...

This is why many of yall can't have functioning relationships,...

With that said, especially because of the added info from...

but obviously heating conversations will never resolve anything. As I...

the OP doesn't deserve the resentment from the wife, and...

Only the OP and wife can decide what to do...

can find a resolution that will leave neither with hurt...

twelvedayslate Info: does your work not have an emergency on...

emergency?

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize with the difficult situation the narrator found himself in. Missing the birth of a child is undeniably heartbreaking, but commenters also recognize the constraints of his job and the fact that he’s been a present and involved father since then. Many suggest that the wife’s repeated bringing up of this event during arguments might indicate unresolved feelings or ongoing emotional pain from that moment, rather than the specific issues at hand.

In my opinion, while her feelings are valid, constantly using this incident as a weapon in everyday disagreements isn’t constructive for their relationship. It might be helpful for them to have an open, honest conversation or even seek counseling to address the underlying emotions and improve their communication. Focusing on their current partnership and co-parenting could help them move past this painful memory and build a stronger family dynamic.

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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