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AITAH for telling my BIL and his wife that I don’t want to follow their birth plan?

by Emily Davis
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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In the quiet corners of a family torn between hope and resentment, a woman carries more than just a child—she carries the weight of unspoken pain and fractured trust. As a surrogate for her brother-in-law and his wife, she steps into a world where love is entangled with jealousy, and the promise of new life is shadowed by control and doubt.

Beneath the surface of generosity lies a fragile balance, where her own experience and intuition clash with the desperate grip of those longing to hold what has been so elusive. In this delicate dance of sacrifice and expectation, she must navigate not only the physical journey of pregnancy but the emotional battlefield of family and forgiveness.

AITAH for telling my BIL and his wife that I don’t want to follow their birth plan?

So I (34f) am a surrogate for my BIL Simon...

They've tried IVF and even surrogacy before, but the person...

They have outwardly shown their jealousy of my husband James...

They came to me last year and begged me to...

James supported my decision and has acted like he did...

They made up meal plans for me, and I'm taking...

When I told them I knew what to do during...

I gave up trying to dissuade them as I knew...

They wanted me to do an unmedicated water birth, and...

I have quite a high pain tolerance, but this experience...

(Kudos to anyone who has unmedicated births) As for the...

They weren't happy about this. They said this was their...

I retorted and said, this is my body, and I...

A lot of shouting happened, and I started to get...

James told her to shut up, which started Simon off,...

It took James and me a few days to calm...

Simon and Mich**le called James' parents and complained to them...

They were shocked at what happened and said they were...

A part of me doesn't want them there, but I...

He said that he'll have them kicked out if they...

I sort of do feel like an a*shole but I...

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

Exotic-Army4006 Your the one going through a medical event,

Tight-Background-252 at the end of the day everything is your...

They do NOT need to be in the room or...

I can't believe they are acting like this.

highprincess60 It's your body and you're the one pushing out...

If you don't want them in the labor room they...

You are doing them a great service and they should...

If they wanted you to have an unmedicated water birth...

You have this baby how YOU want to have it....

ivyjade42 NTA.

My SIL was kind enough to be a surrogate for...

ajaye90 I'm sorry they're being so ungrateful and rude about...

They shouldn't be in the room if they aren't going...

I'm a*suming you aren't getting any financial compensation for being...

Narrow_Guava_6239 NTA but OP why didn't you guys have the...

Before you said yes did you lay down any terms...

your body, your mental wellbeing.

greyhounds4life1969 EDIT: fixed sentence: NTA 'We want you to have...

we know the pain will be hidious for you but...

Raerae1360 they don't get to make those decisions: Please tell...

SummerStar62 " You won't be carrying a sibling, right?: NTA...

In fact, at this point, I'd say it's guaranteed that...

I would not let them anywhere near you while you're...

It's your body. They don't have any right to be...

They can ask. But the second they get pushy and...

too bad, they can just shut the f**k up, AND...

Have your husband be the point of contact for these...

I wouldn't even tell them you're in labor until the...

Tell them it happened too fast because your body knows...

This is a f**king nightmare in the delivery room waiting...

Elegant_C**kroach430 Info: Was any of this discussed prior to you...

Any type of discussion? And no, they don't have to...

Reading through the Reddit comments, many users expressed sympathy for the surrogate’s situation, highlighting the emotional toll of being controlled by Simon and Michelle despite her experience and intentions. Commenters agreed that while the surrogate’s kindness was admirable, the couple’s jealousy and micromanagement crossed boundaries, making what should have been a supportive arrangement into a stressful ordeal. Several emphasized the importance of clear communication and mutual respect in surrogacy agreements to prevent such conflicts.

In my opinion, this story underscores the complexities of surrogacy beyond the medical aspects—especially when family dynamics and unresolved emotions like jealousy come into play. It’s crucial for all parties to establish trust and respect each other’s autonomy to ensure a positive experience. While Simon and Michelle’s desire for a child is understandable, their controlling behavior ultimately places unnecessary strain on their relationship with the surrogate, which could have been avoided with more empathy and flexibility.

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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