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AITAH for telling my girlfriend she’s going to have to get over dirt if she wants kids?

by Emily Davis
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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Amy is a brilliant and meticulous woman, her life a testament to order and cleanliness. Every detail, from her spotless apartment to the way she carefully seals her toothbrush in a zip-locked bag, reveals a deep-seated need for control and hygiene that defines her world. Her partner admires her dedication but feels the weight of this intense lifestyle, sensing the challenge it brings to their growing relationship.

As their love deepens and dreams of a future together emerge, a silent conflict stirs beneath the surface. Amy’s fierce desire for children clashes subtly with her unfamiliarity with the chaos and unpredictability that come with them, casting a shadow of doubt and fear over their shared hopes. This tension marks the beginning of a profound journey—one that will test their love, compromise, and the very essence of their dreams.

AITAH for telling my girlfriend she’s going to have to get over dirt if she wants kids?

My (25F) girlfriend Amy (27F) is a wonderful person. She's...

To the point that she keeps her tooth brush in...

Her apartment is always spotless, she showers twice-thrice a day,...

It's both impressive and intimidating. I'm not the messiest person...

I don't have ma*sive piles of unwashed dishes or a...

I'm not against making some adjustments, but we've been talking...

I'd like kids too.

But she's never been around babies or little kids before...

I'm the oldest of four, and the oldest cousin of...

There's no such thing as a clean toddler, not for...

I told her (gently) that that's just not possible, and...

spilled gr**e juice, nail polish on the walls and the...

I told her that they're kids without fine motor control...

And if she wants to have kids she's going to...

Amy accused me of not being supportive and trying to...

This is dissolving into an actual fight instead of a...

Maybe my family was just excessively messy because we were...

It's very frustrating and I want some outside perspective. Parental...

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

Throne-magician NTA she has no clue at all. She thinks...

Has she meet a toddler? Because they can and will...

LaLunaDomina NTA. My mom was like this to an extent.

We looked shiny and clean and our house looked like...

I had to have my clothes just right and my...

I grew up terrified of getting dirty, and feel deep...

They have to come first, they have to be allowed...

Edit: Also, as someone with OCD, yeah, there are some...

DustyBoarTusk She needs help, even if she isn't aware: Dad...

Messes are inevitable with kids. You can't "work at" getting...

You Potty training exists, of course, but you're gonna be...

You'll find food on your kids in the weirdest, most...

nytefox42 NTA. Her obsession with cleanliness, while necessary at work,...

Showering 2-3 times a day is actually BAD for her...

Because this is going to end up causing problems in...

abibofsweat Just when you think you've cleaned up all the...

pillow.

VolatilePeach The fact that she said children that are messy...

It makes me think she'll be controlling and abusive as...

" My dad treated me like a project that needed...

I didn't meet his standards, ever, and now we don't...

I've left channels open for him to reach out if...

I have PTSD because of him, as well as from...

There's a chance that her maternal instincts would kick in...

NTA, but I think it would be wise to go...

Edit: I didn't realize they were both women,

so the last bit that was there about her potentially...

However,

that doesn't necessarily mean she can't still try to get...

My opinion still stands that she shouldn't have kids until...

But thank goodness she can't do it "by accident.

aricyl ": Info: Has anyone actually spoke to her about...

context of having children... As in has she looked into...

As the level of germaphobe behaviour you've outlined is on...

Call_Me_Anythin "keep the baby spotless", sorry what? Your gf needs...

youknowimright25 NTAH: You are a cousin of 9. One of...

thr_w_t_w_y Then she will see: Daycare worker here: kids are...

Even if there are no liquids or foods around, kids...

they will bite and chew up the toys and then...

Toilet paper, paper towels, diapers, pots and pans, silverware, shampoo...

Literally EVERYTHING in your house becomes a toy and goes...

I hate hate hate hate HATE being interrupted. I cannot...

But I've worked with kids long enough to understand that...

Youre talking, theyre thinking about the bright light behind your...

Kids are great but theyre also really shitty (pun intended)....

Thats how they figure out how things feel and taste...

Also, handfuls of dirt will be shoved in the mouth...

After reading through the Reddit comments on this story, many readers expressed empathy for both parties. Amy’s extreme cleanliness and germaphobia, while challenging, are clearly part of who she is and have shaped her lifestyle and expectations. Others pointed out that her intensity might make parenting difficult, especially since she lacks experience with children and the inevitable messiness they bring. Many commenters suggested open communication and perhaps seeking counseling to navigate these differences before making major life decisions like having kids.

From my perspective, this story highlights the importance of understanding and compromise in relationships, especially when it comes to fundamental lifestyle differences. While Amy’s desire for children is heartfelt, the couple needs to realistically consider how their contrasting habits and comfort levels might impact their future family life. With patience and mutual respect, they can find a way forward, but it will require honest conversations and adjustments from both sides.

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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