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AITAH for wanting to cancel my wedding in 2 weeks because my bf j*rked off while we were on speakerphone with my sister?

by Michael Lee
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 9 mins read
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She stands at a crossroads, her heart heavy with doubt after two days of conversations that have peeled back layers of unresolved pain. Despite shared joys and battles fought side by side, a quiet realization dawns: the foundation they built on “the good stuff” may be crumbling under the weight of unspoken hurts and unmet emotional needs.

Her sister’s mistreatment has cracked a fragile veneer, revealing a pattern of dismissal and disrespect that she can no longer ignore. Battling chronic illness and the turbulence it brings, she has leaned on his support—but now she questions if love alone can heal wounds that have long been buried in silence.

AITAH for wanting to cancel my wedding in 2 weeks because my bf j*rked off while we were on speakerphone with my sister?

Update: we have been talking for two days (and much...

This has felt off, like something is wrong, but we...

It's been bringing up a lot of feelings of this...

We really have made it through a lot though, I...

To internet strangers - I have been diagnosed with multiple...

especially during the past 5 years (finding the right steroids...

He's been a good man who is there for me,...

It's something we've worked through in waves, but since agreeing...

so we felt "I'm finally feeling healthy again-should we do...

He basically can admit he's mentally checked out and everything...

argumentative about ending the wedding. I think anyone who loves...

My(30F) bf/fiance (29M) and I have been together for five...

casually and mutually decided to "just get married this summer!"...

My family lives out-of-state but is flying in with my...

My bf has not been as positive about the "to-do's"...

and literally has complained every step of the way or...

We have talked about this bothering me openly and he's...

done all the budgeting, communications, vendors planning & even been...

decor, & food) I was on speaker phone with my...

He came home while this was happening, laid down next...

I elbowed him and looked at him like "wtf??

" And tried to get him to stop by telling...

acted like I was rude by asking him to participate...

I ended the phone call and angrily told him I...

He fought with me like I was attacking him for...

especially to my sister who is doing so much for...

- how am i supposed to forgive this and why...

AITAH or would you end your wedding over this type...

or if you say what i'm doing bothers you" att*tude...

talk catering on speakerphone??? We get married in 2 weeks...

his family bought flights, and I have paid for everything...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

climbtheworldd How much louder does he need to tell you...

AroundTheWayJill This is going to be your entire life.: He...

"People show you exactly who they are. We pretend they're...

Take a break from this man and see how you...

everellie Completely besides the jerking off incident, you said this...

Don't marry someone who isn't kind and considerate. They don't...

Or dealing with a cancer diagnosis. You need someone who...

Bookmomma2 Divorce is a lot more expensive and time consuming...

Salt**ter_taffy369 I am sorry for having to say this but...

My husband participated in planning, even when he didn't want...

Even if he wasn't paying attention to the fact you...

yourself right next to you while you're doing something.

I think you should have a major heart or heart...

based on your actions, and I'm considering canceling the wedding...

I'm not feeling like I'm being listened to, I feel...

This doesn't feel like a healthy partnership right now." See...

The thing is,

you need to make sure you stay very mature in...

diamondgreene Guuurlll. You are dragging him kicking and screaming down...

Hes a coward and won't say anything and he'll make...

teteloso I'm sorry but I don't think he actually wants...

My husband wanted to be so involved in the planning....

Don't keep moving forward just because it feels to expensive...

Adelucas NTA. Which red flag in the sea of red...

Better to call it off before the wedding and face...

Relative_Scene9724 Let's normalize NOT MARRYING a man who "complains every...

wedding plans, etc.

You also shared: "literally cannot be nice to me about...

communications, vendors planning & even been the one on the...

tables and chairs, decor, & food)." What are you doing?!

Society has conned women regarding marriage and "being chosen" that...

Then 8 years from now when you're f***ing exhausted from...

you'll look around and wonder, "What the f*** was I...

SunshineShoulders87 NTA. Don't marry him just because the plans have...

Turn the whole thing into a party celebrating you being...

(1) Bad behavior tends to get worse after marriage because...

the wedding ring will allow him to relax.

(2) One could argue he's either trying to get you...

(3) Never get married just to get married OR because...

in your life. It's okay for the possibility of marriage...

Your life is in front of you - don't settle.

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people resonate with the complexity of balancing love and respect in a long-term relationship, especially when chronic illness adds layers of stress. Commenters often emphasized the importance of feeling valued not just for shared interests but in deeper emotional and physical ways. Many suggested that communication issues, especially around sensitive topics like intimacy, can be a major red flag if they persist despite efforts to address them. The consensus seemed to be that while hardship can bond couples, it shouldn’t come at the cost of one partner feeling dismissed or disrespected.

Personally, it seems the author is at a crossroads, weighing the good memories and support against the emotional toll of feeling sexually dismissed and misunderstood. The realization sparked by the sister’s treatment appears to have uncovered deeper unresolved issues. Ultimately, it’s a reminder that love alone isn’t always enough to sustain a relationship if core needs for respect and connection aren’t met. Prioritizing one’s well-being and boundaries, especially amid chronic health struggles, is vital for any decision about the future.

Michael Lee

Michael is a tech enthusiast sharing insights on software development and gadgets.

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