A 45-year-old man, referred to as OP, is facing a major marital crisis after his 44-year-old wife revealed a disturbing plan for their 16-year-old son, Noah. Noah had come out as gay approximately one year prior, an acceptance the OP managed to embrace while his wife struggled to cope.
The core conflict erupted when the wife suggested sending Noah to a “conversion therapy camp,” believing his sexual orientation could be fixed or changed. When the OP strongly opposed this harmful idea, the wife accused him of enabling Noah’s supposed confusion. The OP is now deeply shocked and disgusted by his wife’s stance and is questioning whether he can remain married to someone who supports such actions, especially if it means betraying his son.
WIBTA to divorce my wife after she said she wanted to send our son to a conversion camp?
According to Dr. Skyler Long, a specialist in family systems and adolescent psychology, “When a parent advocates for practices known to cause severe psychological harm, it fundamentally shifts the risk assessment for the entire family unit. Parental alignment on core safety issues is non-negotiable for healthy development.”
The OP’s wife is displaying clear resistance to accepting her son’s identity, manifesting this denial through the promotion of conversion therapy, a practice widely discredited by major medical and mental health organizations due to its high risk of leading to depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide. Her behavior indicates a strong adherence to preconceived notions about sexuality that override concern for her child’s immediate safety and happiness.
For the OP, the internal conflict highlights the concept of moral injury. Remaining in a relationship that demands silence or complicity regarding actions he views as abusive towards his son constitutes a betrayal of his own ethical framework. While concern for the younger daughter is valid, continuing to cohabitate with a partner who actively seeks to harm the other child introduces significant instability. The recommended path forward likely requires establishing firm, non-negotiable boundaries regarding Noah’s safety, which, given the wife’s current stance, may necessitate immediate physical separation to ensure the son is protected.
THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.
The OP is currently in a position of profound emotional distress, caught between his commitment to his marriage of 14 years and his absolute dedication to his son’s safety and mental well-being. His wife’s expressed desire to subject Noah to conversion therapy represents a fundamental breach of trust and shared values regarding their child’s welfare.
The debate centers on whether the OP’s moral obligation to protect his son from potential abuse and trauma outweighs the value of maintaining the family unit, specifically for the sake of his 12-year-old daughter. Can a marriage survive when one parent advocates for known harmful practices against their child, or is immediate separation the only path to fulfill the parental duty of care?
