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AITA for “taking over” when it came to my siblings?

by Charlie Brown
October 17, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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From a young age, he was thrust into the role of caretaker, a burden far too heavy for a child to bear. While his parents struggled with their own demons—his mother lost to postpartum depression and his father absent in body and spirit—he became the unwavering pillar his siblings desperately needed. His childhood was stolen, replaced by endless days of responsibility and sacrifice.

Tragedy struck again with the loss of his mother when his baby sister was born, deepening the wounds and solidifying his role as protector and provider. In a world that seemed to abandon them, he fought fiercely to keep his family together, juggling school and childcare with a resilience that belied his years. His story is one of silent strength and unconditional love in the face of overwhelming hardship.

AITA for “taking over” when it came to my siblings?

I (30M) am much older than my 3 younger siblings....

My mom went through what I believe was postpartum depression...

I ended up stepping up young and taking care of...

I suspect there were some affairs sprinkled in there. My...

When I was 15 and my baby sister was born,...

I managed to convince my dad to put the kids...

Even after I turned 18, I went to college locally...

I was raising my younger siblings. Somehow, I met someone...

When my siblings were 7, 6, and 4, my dad...

They barely knew him as he wasn't around. All they...

I didn't want them to feel abandoned, so I would...

Kids didn't trust him, they kept coming to me, and...

When I was 25, I married my wife and we...

They ended up spending a lot of time with us...

My siblings are now 18, 17, and 15. My dad...

My dad is irritated yet again and said that it...

I told him that it's a lame excuse and that...

My dad is insistent that I am the problem here....

So, am I the a*shole?

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

scooby946 You're the kind of problem the world needs NTA

cla*s="comment_author">InternationalOil540: NTA- considering your father still doesn't want to be...

BlondDee1970 the 18 will soon go to not wanting to...

Those kids would have been lost in foster care if...

Green-Particular8068 My man, NTA and you are a saint. Good...

They will for sure appreciate you for the rest of...

You are awesome and your dad is a moron who...

The rest of the family are enabling idiots. Sorry for...

KaliTheBlaze Kudos: NTA. A lot of addicts and former addicts...

everyone should just magically have the trust, love,

and respect for them that they would have had for...

When you spend years being absent and unreliable, you have...

All relationships are built one act at a time, like...

show up to pick them up from school/daycare, comfort them...

teach them how to bathe and brush their teeth, do...

You've been doing that all their lives, so you've built...

where they are safe and secure and comfortable and they...

He's expecting them to act like they feel happy and...

past) while he starts laying the first stones of a...

reliable, and consistent rather than something that has abandoned them...

That's his fault for being an absentee parent, not yours...

lemon_charlie NTA.

Your father has reaped what he sowed in terms of...

you take on instead of taking on himself. He gave...

and years of absence, physical and emotional, led to the...

You've been a parent to your siblings for more than...

Shinyyyyyyyyy NTA, your extended family sure has a lot of...

weird that they didn't have them when your dad was...

You did the difficult and kind thing so the kids...

their life goes on and after so many years of...

rsgoto11 my dad abandoned me and I want nothing to...

You're father is a five star loser. What you did...

phcampbell No wonder your siblings don't like him, he's still...

I can't even express the rage I feel for your...

I don't normally say this but you can tell your...

bythebrook88 >But a lot of our extended family agree that...

Where was this extended family when you were raising your...

They didn't step up when they were needed, they don't...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many sympathize deeply with the original poster’s story. Users commend the resilience and maturity shown by someone so young, forced into a parental role far earlier than expected. There’s a shared understanding of the emotional weight carried by the eldest sibling, especially when coping with the loss of a mother and an absent father. Commenters often emphasize the importance of recognizing how such circumstances shape a person’s character and the lasting impact on family dynamics.

In my opinion, this story highlights the complex nature of family responsibilities and the silent sacrifices made by older siblings in challenging situations. It also underscores the need for community and support systems to step in when parents cannot fulfill their roles. While the original poster’s experience is undoubtedly painful, it serves as a powerful reminder of human resilience and the quiet strength found in taking care of loved ones against all odds.

Charlie Brown

Charlie is a creative mind who enjoys writing about art, music, and culture.

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