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Am I (29M) AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend (29F) of 5 years, who I live with and co-own a condo with, because I feel neglected, disrespected, and taken for granted?

by Michael Lee
October 18, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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For five years, he believed in the love they shared, building a life together brick by brick—both emotionally and financially. But beneath the surface of their once vibrant relationship, a silent chasm grew, filled with unspoken disappointments and unmet needs. She retreated into a world of fantasy, replacing their reality with imaginary connections, leaving him feeling invisible and abandoned in the home they co-own.

He carries the weight of their shared dreams and debts, pouring his resources and patience into a relationship slipping through his fingers. The laughter and companionship they once enjoyed have been replaced by isolation and awkward moments, as he grapples with the painful truth that the woman he loves is becoming a stranger lost in a digital escape, unwilling or unable to face the cracks in their life together.

Am I (29M) AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend (29F) of 5 years, who I live with and co-own a condo with, because I feel neglected, disrespected, and taken for granted?

I (29M) have been with my girlfriend (29F) for 5...

When we started dating, things were great - we went...

She stopped wanting to go out or do much together,...

and spends most of her free time playing an anime...

" She even replaced our photo on her phone lockscreen...

It's awkward when she talks about that character around friends...

I've helped her pay off thousands of her car loan...

She's said she doesn't really want to work anymore and...

even though she can't afford that and doesn't contribute equally...

When I got sworn into a big government job (a...

Seeing all the other partners there supporting their SOs really...

doesn't want kids (or even adoption anymore), and said she...

These revelations from her all came at random throughout the...

Occasionally, she will ridicule/complain about me in front of our...

me not doing my share of ch**es (which is fair...

These instances have been occasional but they still bother me....

but I heard her whispering to her friends while I...

She was drinking, but that also still bothers me to...

I still care about her, but I feel like I've...

I'm planning to buy her out of the condo since...

I'm not trying to be cruel - I just don't...

we have 2 cats, she's not purposely malicious, and she'll...

AITA for wanting to end this relationship and move on,...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

Lambsenglish I feel like you buried the bit when you...

You've painted a picture of someone who has gradually drifted...

UndeadArmoire NTA Some of this is silly and could be...

in particular - but other things are deal breakers in...

Her declaring she doesn't want kids if you're not on...

The only thing that happens when two people with different...

She's disrespectful to you *in public, in front of peers*....

Mocking your *s*x drive*, particularly with you present? That's cruel.

I understand sharing intimate details of a relationship with very...

but there's always the understanding that A. those friends pretend...

it is never used to denigrate the partner. The fact...

The last name and needing to sleep in another bedroom...

but on top of everything else? It just seems like...

Unless you have any real reason to expect any of...

saimaanmursu so, I'd call time of death on this relationship...

People change in time, sometimes worse. I would suggest talking...

Ashton_Garland This sounds like a ma*sive communication issue,

you both need to sit down and talk about what...

I'd say YTA for just wanting to break up immediately...

After reading through the Reddit comments on this story, it’s clear that many people empathize with the original poster’s feelings of neglect and frustration. Users pointed out that emotional distance and financial imbalance can seriously strain a relationship, especially when one partner seems more invested in a fantasy world than in their shared reality. Many advised open communication, couples counseling, or even reconsidering the relationship if these issues persist without improvement.

In my opinion, while escapism through games or hobbies can be a harmless outlet, it becomes problematic when it replaces genuine connection and mutual respect in a partnership. The financial strain combined with emotional withdrawal signals deeper issues that likely require honest conversations and professional support. Without addressing these challenges head-on, the relationship risks further deterioration, and both partners deserve to feel valued and understood.

Michael Lee

Michael is a tech enthusiast sharing insights on software development and gadgets.

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