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UPDATE: AITAH For Demanding That My Husband And I Go On Video Consenting To An Opening Relationship Before Allowing One?

by Charlie Brown
October 19, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In the quiet unraveling of a once-shared life, a woman confronts the painful crossroads where love meets reality. Her husband’s anger and absence, magnified by late-night fears and unanswered calls, crack the fragile foundations of their marriage, bringing buried truths painfully to the surface.

Amidst the echo of arguments and the sting of betrayal, she faces a heart-wrenching decision — to hold on or to let go. With courage born from deep hurt, she chooses to file for divorce, stepping into an uncertain future where healing becomes her only hope.

UPDATE: AITAH For Demanding That My Husband And I Go On Video Consenting To An Opening Relationship Before Allowing One?

To get straight to the point I decided to give...

After having yet another argument about opening up the marriage...

It was late and I know he had been drinking...

He didn't respond but while I was walking around the...

I eventually sound the iPad that he used to use...

Against my looming sense of guilt, I checked his iPad...

A lot of these messages were really spicy and had...

They didn't show each other's faces but I know my...

her shoulder so even though she cut off her face,...

To make it worse he's also been messaging some of...

How he hates that my b***sts have tiny stretch marks...

the needs of my partner" a.k.a. my choice to b***stfeed...

I guess I wasn't as quiet as I thought I...

I woke up to my daughter giving me breakfast (toast...

she knew I was sad. This made me angry inside,...

In that next moment something in me broke emotionally, and...

Part of me was hoping something terrible did happen to...

Maybe I should see a therapist about that? After I...

I let them go play while I looked up divorce...

My husband came back in the early afternoon, still wouldn't...

As he was showering, I told him that he had...

He was ecstatic and suddenly the fun and attentive man...

He agreed never to bring any of his conquests to...

Over the next couple of days I used my lunch...

Since I gave my husband the green light he's not...

I smile but say nothing and I'm just collecting whatever...

My plan is to serve him and pretend to be...

No one outside of my lawyer knows that I'm gearing...

As renowned family law expert and author Dr. Barbara Rothman states, “In high-conflict separations, strategic communication is often prioritized over absolute truth, particularly when setting up legal positioning.” This situation highlights a significant conflict between personal emotional justice and legal strategy. The OP’s discovery of the affair, coupled with the husband’s cruel commentary regarding her body and choices surrounding motherhood, provides a strong emotional foundation for her actions.

The OP is experiencing a profound violation of trust and emotional safety. Her temporary agreement to an open marriage was clearly a strategic maneuver, not a genuine desire, designed to placate the husband and buy time to consult lawyers and gather evidence (like the Tinder profile). This calculated deception serves to protect her emotional state and maximize her legal standing by presenting herself as the wronged party, which can influence asset division or spousal support in some jurisdictions.

The OP’s action to proceed with divorce is an appropriate response to the established infidelity and disrespect. However, her plan to actively lie about giving permission might complicate matters if discovered, though it serves her immediate goal of presenting a clear narrative of fault to family, friends, and potentially the court. A constructive recommendation would be to focus strictly on documented evidence of the affair and financial disclosures, allowing the lawyer to guide the presentation of the narrative without relying heavily on future verifiable falsehoods.

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

gringaellie You need to delete this post because if he...

Civil-Influence7601 he can screenshot this as evidence that you've set...

I recommend, however, that you take an STD test. It's...

but you don't know for how long he has been...

Also, please give an update on that little jerk's reaction...

LoloColdMedina This guy is a ma*sive ah. You my dear...

Collect your evidence and take no shit. Seriously sorry you...

QnoisX Dude out in the yard trying to dig himself...

OkEntrepreneur5879 What a BOSS move. good for you!!!

Ok_Total1325 Delete this thread before your future court date. Best...

You and your kids deserved better. At least his relationship...

that-old-broad To paraphrase a reddit standard, "Delete this post, hit...

The original poster (OP) reached a breaking point after discovering clear evidence of her husband’s emotional and physical infidelity, which included deeply hurtful comments about her body related to motherhood. Driven by betrayal and anger at the chaos inflicted upon her children, the OP decided to proceed with divorce, despite initially appearing to grant the husband permission for an open marriage as a deceptive strategy.

Given that the OP has already chosen divorce and is actively preparing her legal case based on the husband’s proven infidelity, the core question becomes: Is the OP justified in using the fabricated narrative of being the surprised, aggrieved wife to secure an advantage in the divorce proceedings, or does this deceptive strategy undermine her ethical standing?

Charlie Brown

Charlie is a creative mind who enjoys writing about art, music, and culture.

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