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AITA for refusing to financially support my daughter’s “gap year” to pursue acting, when we paid for our other kids college expenses?

by Michael Lee
October 20, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 9 mins read
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A mother and father, steadfast in their commitment to support their three children through the rigors of higher education, have already invested deeply in the futures of their eldest two. Their dedication to funding tuition, living expenses, and dreams has been unwavering, a testament to their belief in education as a foundation for success.

Yet now, their youngest daughter stands at a crossroads, yearning to break from tradition and chase a passion for theater and acting. With a heartfelt plea and a carefully crafted plan, she seeks a year to pursue her dreams in Los Angeles, promising to return if her aspirations do not take flight—challenging the family’s expectations and testing the limits of love and support.

AITA for refusing to financially support my daughter’s “gap year” to pursue acting, when we paid for our other kids college expenses?

I (48F) and my husband (49M) have three kids (23F,...

my husband and I have agreed we would financially support...

She is now in medical school, and we are still...

and we are paying for that and plan to cover...

and I have always done my best to support her...

but she is now saying she would rather defer for...

She had a long conversation with us when she broke...

She said she plans to move to LA for the...

The thing is, she expects us to finance everything like...

but we would not pay for it because we agreed...

I suggested instead that she should go to college and...

She insists that I am being unfair and showing favoritism...

My oldest called and said that we have supported her...

My husband is now leaning towards letting her go, saying,...

LA is expensive, and I don't want to waste money...

The rest of my family, besides my husband, who is...

**Edit: ** Some extra information: my daughter is currently enrolled...

We already have things paid for, and they will not...

Her school does offer a theater arts minor, and I...

Also, it is too late for her to apply for...

Her mentioning this so late makes me think she is...

We have sent her to a summer theatre program when...

She has been in the school play throughout high school....

her theatre cla*s had a thing where the students acted...

I definitely think she has talent, but there are thousands...

As for her plan, she has a few thousand TikTok...

She showed us some local acting groups/studios that offer internships...

If that doesn't work out, she mentioned joining cla*ses or...

I feel like there is no solid plan; she just...

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

runrunpuppets I'm not really sure your 18 year old daughter...

is. Did she include how much it would literally cost...

I think that would be a fair compromise. Definitely NTA....

A gap year is not college and offers no guarantee...

I kind of wish I had figured out how expensive...

At least I wisened up, transferred, and received a full...

0 gpa) for all remaining years of undergrad/graduate school. But...

I still have $100,

000 in federal student loans (fortunately my private are now...

If you are independently wealthy perhaps this does not bother...

but it's just another thing to consider when you choose...

AnnoyedSpaceDust NTA. There are college degrees for acting/theatre/arts she could...

Also to point out LA has a high cost of...

it doesn't work, then they get 4 years of paid...

InAppropriate-meal LA does not have to be expensive but she...

worked and lived on and off in LA for a...

Truth is unless she is VERY VERY lucky she won't...

a f**k ton of predators there.

Without contacts a dream will stay a dream and going...

FabulousTrick8859 go: Yeah, kinda. I get it though.

In your mind it's "pay for college" and she isn't...

it's clear that you've covered years of your other kids'...

their future but now not your youngest.

Your daughter has different dreams and she doesn't understand why...

How about a compromise where you offer a set amount...

I suspect you're worried that it will be a bottomless...

And incidentally, there's no guaranteed return on a college degree...

The 'return' you're looking at in your youngest daughter's scenario...

If you make her do what YOU want her to...

two siblings were the favourites. That Mom wasn't supportive. You...

All the actors that I hear on podcasts talk about...

Maybe if she talks to working actors she may get...

Doesn't LA have thousands of young hopefuls turn up every...

Aggressive_Cup8452 backing your daughter so she feels like you have...

You're paying for school and their time in school. Not...

Over-Banana-1098 Why not just go to college in LA and...

If she needs a gap year, she needs a gap...

She can live and work and study like millions of...

If she doesn't want to go to school then she...

Actually get some life experience because right now everything she's...

Character-Twist-1409 NTA: NTA. Why can't she go to school for...

There are great programs in NYC and probably in LA...

She can do auditions around cla*ses That way you are...

Significant-Half-189 My parents' rule was "everything was paid for so...

if you're part time or drop out / graduate, you're...

NTA unless she's the next Meryl Streep and you're holding...

It's a lot of money, LA is not cheap, and...

b*mbalarie NTA. Your daughter should study and train for her...

" Professional actors are sk**led & talented individuals. Your daughter...

) if she thinks she can pop into LA and...

Sure, it happens occasionally but it is not the norm....

Positive_Wiglet Tell her you will cover drama school in an...

If she then wants to go to LA, she can...

After reading the story and the Reddit comments, it’s clear that opinions are quite divided on the issue of supporting the youngest child’s unconventional path. Many commenters sympathize with the parents, emphasizing their financial commitment to the older children’s education and feeling frustrated by the youngest daughter’s decision to defer college for a less certain career in acting. Others argue that pursuing passion and creative dreams is equally important, and that supporting her choice could ultimately lead to personal fulfillment, even if it’s riskier.

In my opinion, the parents’ willingness to back their children through college is commendable, but they might benefit from setting clear boundaries and expectations for the youngest child’s year off. Open communication and mutual understanding could help balance their support with the daughter’s desire to explore her passion. Ultimately, this story highlights the challenges many families face when balancing traditional education paths with creative ambitions, reminding us that there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.

Michael Lee

Michael is a tech enthusiast sharing insights on software development and gadgets.

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