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Husband (38M) is resentful I (36F) find people in the poly scene unattractive; how do we get past it?

by Jane Smith
October 20, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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In a journey marked by love and exploration, a couple once bound by monogamy dared to redefine their relationship, embracing polyamory with hope and openness. Yet beneath the surface of newfound freedom lies a quiet storm, as the wife’s desires and the husband’s expectations collide, revealing fractures in trust and acceptance.

Caught between the allure of conventional connections and the husband’s vision of the poly community, she faces the painful reality of rejection—not just from the world, but from the one she calls her primary. Their story is a raw testament to the complexities of love, attraction, and the fragile balance of partnership.

Husband (38M) is resentful I (36F) find people in the poly scene unattractive; how do we get past it?

My husband and I transitioned from monogamy to polyamory two...

Husband and I have reached a block because he doesn't...

even men wanting to fly me out, and a lot...

My husband has encouraged me to go on FeelId or...

I've told him I'm not interested and I prefer to...

He's pushed and pushed until I finally admitted after a...

I'm also not interested in a swinger setup which has...

I fell in love with his personality, not how he...

He keeps trying to push other men who are in...

How do we get past his resentment that I'm not...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

G00SEH Not sure *why* you both transitioned to poly, so...

but it reads to me like he's scared of a...

FluffyCupcake04x Girl, he for sure does not want you sleeping...

Tricky_Seaweed7495 It's not clear what your husband is resentful of.

Does he want to be the most attractive man you're...

Is it because the poly-scene people know the rules and...

justmeraw You two are on the slow train to divorce.

paper_wavements I have been practicing polyamory in my marriage for...

I'm sorry your post got denied in r/polyamory, because I...

He is trying to reduce the size of your playing...

He is trying to make it so you are only...

because he's worried that a single person will try to...

dd***hecanoe I have seen this happen with three couples I...

woman does all this work to address her need to...

Then they both go out into the scene and the...

The guy very quickly realizes that most average and above...

Guy either freaks out in jealousy or lets his resentment...

The relationship then crumbles and in the three examples I...

partners.

UpbeatInsurance5358 It sounds like he's more interested in a swinging...

JNKboy98 "It never works, but it just might for us.

Glinda-The-Witch ": Quite honestly,

it doesn't sound as if you are happy in a...

He also knows that if you find a single man,...

tlf555 Whose idea was it transition into this scene?: Meh,...

He doesnt seem secure enough to handle this type of...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize with the complexity of navigating personal preferences within a polyamorous relationship. Many users highlight the importance of respecting each other’s boundaries and attraction criteria, even if they differ from the other partner’s expectations. The consensus seems to be that open, honest communication is key, and that neither partner should feel pressured to compromise their authentic feelings about attraction or social preferences.

In closing, while polyamory offers a flexible relationship dynamic, it doesn’t erase the challenges that come with differing tastes and dealbreakers. This couple’s struggle underscores how crucial it is to find common ground and mutual respect, especially when one partner’s preferences don’t align with the other’s ideal vision. Ultimately, success in polyamory, like any relationship, depends on empathy, patience, and a willingness to navigate difficult conversations without judgment.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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