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Parents Don’t Give Daughter Her College Fund Because She Has Full Scholarship and Works, Effectively Punishing Her for Being Responsible

by Charlie Brown
October 21, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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A father’s quiet sacrifice weaves through the tapestry of his children’s futures, a legacy built on hope, education, and unspoken support. With dreams shaped by his own academic journey, he and his wife stand at a crossroads of expectations and reality, watching their daughter chase her passion in music and film against the backdrop of financial struggle and fierce independence.

In the shadow of scholarships and modest apartments, a young woman’s determination blossoms, fueled by the unseen safety net her grandparents laid years before. This is a story of love, resilience, and the delicate balance between guidance and freedom, where family bonds hold the power to shape destinies quietly but profoundly.

AITA for not giving my daughter her education fund money?

I (54M) have two children (23F and 21M) with my...

My wife and I always expected our kids to attend...

Because of this, we decided not to use the funds...

My daughter has always been more into the liberal arts,...

but she insisted on studying music and film in college....

but she had scholarships to cover almost all of her...

She lived in a very small apartment shared with friends...

After graduating, she luckily found a job that doesn't pay...

My son decided to do engineering, and he also expressed...

My wife and I were disappointed, but accepted it since...

Since he did not receive as many scholarships as his...

He was able to get a large and nice apartment...

My daughter was confused and asked how he could afford...

She called us and asked why she didn't have one,...

She seemed hurt by this and asked if there was...

and if we chose to do that it would belong...

She's been quiet and short when answering our texts, and...

I know that it seems unfair to her, but it's...

Plus, her brother only received it for educational purposes and...

UPDATE: I understand the consensus is that my wife and...

This was her response: "I don't care. Maybe they can...

If I do apply it wouldn't be for another couple...

" UPDATE 2: My wife and I are discussing our...

For context, my wife has always had a strained relationship...

She believes we should take our daughter's words at face...

From some of the responses here,

I fear that my daughter's response was out of resentment...

She could use it responsibly towards rent, groceries, transportation, etc....

My wife is standing firm in her opinion, and we...

At this point, they are not mentally aware enough to...

They also knew that we took out some money for...

They said it was our decision as parents what to...

It wouldn't be useful to ask them what to do...

I have tried to call my daughter with no luck,...

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

No-Tackle-6112 You paid for your son to have a large...

daughter to pay for her own shitty appartement across town?

Dinosaur_Doctor Obvious a*shole: YTA and Im surprised between your PHD...

alexrez123 that out.: YTA. You need to pay her back...

which her grandparents tried to ensure that she wouldn't have...

GoldenFrog14 YTA. You stiffed her because you didn't like her...

Also, as someone who has a MS in a STEM...

NapalmAxolotl your obsession with grad school is weird: YTA.

I a*sumed this would be the cla*sic "my kid didn't...

Neither child went to grad school, but you decided to...

You basically decided your daughter's goals didn't meet your approval...

ReviewOk929 YTA oh dear,

just goes to show you that having PhD and a...

Pretend_Peach3248 YTA you paid for your son's living expenses out...

they made the same decisions. Yet your daughter achieved scholarships...

so you make her effectively struggle and have to pay...

nor had to live in a lower standard because you...

I wouldn't want to talk to you both either after...

GordonBlue133 What do their grandparents think about how you've treated...

"She lived in a very small apartment shared with friends...

own close to the school," no wonder she's upset with...

He_Who_Is_Right_ Do you know why all that you did seems...

Because it is unfair to your daughter. You had the...

(This, of course, is a bit bizarre. Are you a...

) Yet you did not even tell your daughter about...

You need to apologize for subst*tuting your judgment as to...

Then you need to circle back and see what the...

(And, honestly, I'd get an attorney to do this for...

) Most trusts have provisions for disbursement of the corpus...

I doubt, honestly, though,

that your parents meant for their gift to be returned...

need the money for college. And don't even get me...

You use the funds for your son to enjoy a...

norcalginger In case there was any doubt, YTA truly and...

if the edit you made is genuinely all the effort...

You need to give her the money and make up...

reading through the Reddit comments on this story, many users sympathized with the parents’ intentions to encourage their children toward higher education and financial responsibility. However, some commenters pointed out that withholding information about the education funds might have placed unnecessary stress on the daughter, especially given her choice of a less traditionally lucrative field like music and film. Others felt that the parents could have supported their daughter’s passions more openly, perhaps by helping with living expenses or giving her a clearer picture of the resources available to her.

In my opinion, while the parents’ approach aimed to foster independence, transparency might have been a better strategy to balance support with responsibility. Encouraging kids to pursue their dreams, especially in fields they are passionate about, often requires a mix of practical guidance and emotional support. Ultimately, open communication about finances and expectations can help families navigate these challenges more smoothly and strengthen their relationships in the long run.

Charlie Brown

Charlie is a creative mind who enjoys writing about art, music, and culture.

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